‘There is no ill will’: What Karl Stefanovic really thinks about ex-Today Show co-host Lisa Wilkinson

Karl Stefanovic reflects on his 20 years on The Today Show - and being ‘a much better person’ thanks to the women at his side.

Karl Stefanovic reflects on his 20 years in breakfast TV and being “a much better person” thanks to the women at his side.

Stellar: While in Noosa with your family for the Christmas break, your daughter Harper (Stefanovic’s four-year-old child with wife Jasmine) went missing. It’s every parent’s worst fear, that awful window when you don’t know where they are – what can you tell me about that time?

Karl Stefanovic: We feared the worst. When your child goes missing, the police come and search the house. The police can’t find her. There’s a beach. There’s bushland. They’ve got dogs. They’ve got a chopper in the air. You’re being interviewed by police. Then my wife was distraught, because she thought our little one was gone. I remember riding down the street on my Vespa, tears falling down my face because I’ve been around, I’ve done these stories. The first half hour is crucial. And I get back, and my wife is so upset.

Karl Stefanovic has opened up about the emotional moment his daughter Harper went missing. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar

Karl Stefanovic (continued): Then Ava [Stefanovic’s 19-year-old daughter with his ex-wife] comes running outside and goes, “I found her.” We had these covers on these chairs and she’s gone up under the chair and fallen asleep. So to go through those emotions and then the elation … then you run into people at the pub five hours later. They were like, “Mate, did you look in the bloody house, you bloody idiot? What’s wrong with you?” But God, most people have been through it. The good news is I had the paparazzi there to record it forevermore. So when she turns 21 … [laughs].

Stellar: How are you all doing now? Because that is genuinely a traumatic experience.

Karl Stefanovic: The moment a child is found, the crisis is over. I had all my kids there. To see them genuinely so upset but then really happy that Harper was OK was in the end a bonding experience. But that little girl is going to be problematic. I just feel the energy in her. She’s a bit of a smart alec. She genuinely loves causing dramas. I don’t know where she got it from.

Listen to the full interview with Karl Stefanovic on the Stellar podcast, Something To Talk About:

Stellar: I can’t imagine. It must be from her mum …

Karl Stefanovic: Yeah [laughs].

Stellar: Now you’re back at work and are about to reach your 20th anniversary with Today. It was February 14, 2005, that you joined then co-host Tracy Grimshaw. What are your memories of that first day?

Karl Stefanovic: I always had a thing for live TV, and I always like biting off more than I can chew. I wasn’t overly nervous; I just knew that I didn’t know enough. At 30 going on 31, it’s like, I can do the mechanics of the show, but the rest is really hard. To go into the furnace and have the attention – where every word is being looked at – is a transition. On day one, I thought, oh man, I’m so out of my depth. This is going to be

a bumpy ride. And I wasn’t wrong.

Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar

‘I don’t have any regrets!’ Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar

When did you start to feel that you weren’t out of your depth?

It was some time, and that was a particularly big year. Tracy left at the end of it [to join A Current Affair]. I remember I was late for work because I’d left my shoes at home. I ended up getting Ray Martin’s shoes. So I came into the studio like, “Hey, Trace, look at this. I’ve got Ray Martin’s shoes.” Tracy leans across and goes, “You got his shoes? I got his job.” That’s how she broke it to me. She denies that story, but it’s 100 per cent accurate.

She should own that story. It’s a good one.

She was fantastic. She also told me – I’ll never forget – she leaned across one day when I was asking about an interview and said, “Can you stop being so needy?” It was a great lesson, because I didn’t feel like I was. But it’s a tough business. You’ve got to be self-sustained. You can’t rely on anyone else. So that was fantastic, particularly when she just deserted me and I cried [laughs]. Then Jess [Jessica Rowe, who joined the show in 2006] came in, and she got pilloried. It was shocking, the treatment she had. She was called the most heinous things, and I was just trying to survive. I’ve apologised to Jess since then, but at the time I just didn’t know how to navigate my own future, let alone be there for her in the way that I should have.

We were getting pummelled in the ratings … When Sarah came along [Sarah Murdoch co-hosted from December 2006 to March 2007], it was: “OK, if Sarah Murdoch wants to do the show, maybe we are gonna be OK.” She was supposed to stay for a week. She stayed for a couple of months. By the end of that, I was starting to feel on top of my game.

You had a young family when you were first introduced to the joys of getting up at an ungodly hour every day. Simply at a practical day-to-day level, how were those first few years?

It’s brutal, even after 20 years. The body adjusts, but it’s a real permanent jet lag. I’m better at managing it now. I had a terrible diet. I used to get home, have 15 toasted sandwiches and a three-hour sleep, live a young person’s lifestyle on the weekend and then try to show up for work on Monday morning. As you get older, the creaks start to appear and you’ve got to get more control of it. I eat really light now. I only have a couple of eggs in the morning. I used to have three or four coffees. I now have one. And I have a lemon and ginger tea first thing.

Who even are you?

I haven’t turned into a proper Byron Bay weirdo, I assure you.

Karl Stefanovic is on the cover of today’s Stellar. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar

You’re one cup of tea away from it.

Just during the week. I’m better at the cycle now. I’ll give myself 45 minutes more sleep than I used to. I literally get out of bed with my pyjamas on, get in the car, drive to work [with] no shoes on like a proper kid from Cairns, a proper bogan. I’ve got it down to a really fine art.

The nature of breakfast TV means you could be interviewing the prime minister and the next minute you’re doing some crazy stunt. When did you start leaning into the lighter side of it?

I think I’ve probably got an undiagnosed disorder. I don’t mean that in too much of a frivolous way, but it’s probably ADHD of some kind. That certainly lends itself to brekkie TV. My job is to inform and to entertain. People have sh*t lives. People are going through stuff you can’t imagine, and they tune in. People in hospitals have sent me messages saying they have cancer and they’re dying, but [add] “You provide a lightness to my day.” That’s a great honour. So while there might be criticism around it all, it’s a really important job and I love it. Learning to be able to have a laugh and then transition into the serious stuff when you need – and for it not to jolt the audience – is partly a trust thing. I might see something, [and] if I’m connected and in the moment – oh, that’s gotta be interesting – I’ll pivot.

Jasmine Stefanovic and Karl Stefanovic in 2023. Picture: Getty Images

Picture: Supplied

Karl Stefanovic (continued): Sometimes that will be uncomfortable for the audience. I have the worst sense of humour in the history of the world. It’s shocking to me that when I pivot and get it catastrophically wrong, I’ve still got a job. But that’s balanced – that terrible sense of humour – with the absolute stupidity to follow through on it …

Like Kochie, his favourite show being Bump, whatever that stupid gag was, I’ll say it. [At the 2023 Logie Awards, Stefanovic made headlines with an onstage joke about former Sunrise co-host David Koch.] There is a filter. But in the back of my mind, I’m like, well, bugger it. This will give people a bit of a laugh.

Maybe I didn’t need to say that. But then I got off stage and my wife just went [groans], “Oh, that was terrible.” That made me laugh. So this is how strange I am. I think she liked it, even though she said it was horrendous.

At what point, if ever, did you think, maybe I shouldn’t have said that?

I don’t think I’ve ever … Like, if it happens, it happens. I’m surprised some days that I haven’t been cancelled. But it is what it is. I hope that I don’t offend people too often. There’s not ill will in any of it, ever. And if I have caused any hurt or harm, I will apologise.

Your longest-serving co-host was Lisa Wilkinson, who joined the show in 2007. You went through a lot during those 10 years. Much has been said and written about that particular on-air partnership – how do you look back on that time?

As I get older, I don’t want to waste any of my life thinking about negative parts when you’ve had a long time with someone. That’s hard to do. But this is what I will say about Lisa: genuinely adored working with her. I found her to be an incredibly interesting, intelligent, funny woman. She taught me so much about the craft of conversation. And we had a really beautiful relationship. So there is no ill will. Only great things came from that. These on-air relationships … It’s not normal. You wake up at three in the morning, go to work, see someone in only the way their partner would. I’ve got on my Vegemite pyjamas and bare feet. It’s not normal to sit next to someone and have a spirited argument at that hour. It’s a miracle that people go beyond three years. We did 10. Some marriages don’t last that long. Woo hoo to us. I will compartmentalise that as a great period in my life, in all honesty.

‘Every one of the women I’ve worked with has taught me a huge amount about life and relationships.’ Karl Stefanovic and his current Today Show co-host, Sarah Abo. Picture: Supplied

After Lisa left, Georgie Gardner stepped in as co-host, but a year later, after you and Jasmine married at the end of 2018, you were stood down from the show for 12 months. Tell me about that time.

It was painful to be let go from the show so soon after my wedding. I remember there was a shot at the wedding of everyone, including some of my family members who were let go not long after, and that was painful because I felt … [takes a very long pause as his voice grows shaky and emotional]. I genuinely felt that it was my fault … [takes another pause to compose himself]. All I was doing was getting married. I was in love, and I just didn’t feel like we did anything wrong. I’ve made my apologies, but it was a really difficult time. But I got to have a year off with Jasmine. We got to actually spend time together, which was a gift. And I got to rebuild myself in the way that I wanted to, to come back into the work environment. There are things I learnt from that. But at the end of the day, I want to do it my way and I will do it my way. That year off taught me that if you’re prepared to do that, then cop whatever you need to. But be resolute in that pursuit, because there’s just no other way.

It was a big challenge for a new marriage.

I marvel at her. She’s such a strong woman. There was never a crossover between my previous marriage. And none of that’s easy to talk about. I didn’t ever anticipate I would fall in love six months after a tragic marriage breakdown. But it happened. She’s dealt with a lot. There’s a lot of stuff people don’t see and wouldn’t be aware of that she handles with grace and humour. I doubt I’d be here without her.

Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson at the 59th Annual Logie Awards at Crown Palladium in 2017. Picture: Getty Images

Former Today Show co-hosts Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson in 2007. Picture: It Wasn't Meant To Be Like This by Lisa Wilkinson

Then, in 2020, you returned to the show with Allison Langdon as your co-host.

If Ally didn’t want to work with me, I wouldn’t be back on the Today show. It was as simple as that. Some crazy, messed up part of Ally made her think it was a good idea, and I’ll be forever grateful for that. We had an amazing partnership. I admired her so much. We were in the thick of it with Covid, and it was great camaraderie. I’ll love her forever. And fortunately for me … my God, there have been a lot of women, haven’t there?

We’ve still got another one to get to.

Oh, Sarah! [Sarah Abo, who co-hosts the Today show with Stefanovic, weekdays from 5.30am on the Nine Network.] Again, I’m so fortunate. Every one of the women I’ve worked with has taught me a huge amount about life and relationships. I’m a much better person for the women I’ve worked with in many, many ways. Anyone who decides to climb into this job is made of the tough stuff because you’re working with me, first up, and I don’t know how you do that – because I don’t know what’s going to happen on any given day. Then you’ve got the pressures from the outside, the brutality of the sleep and the mechanics of the job. It’s f*cking hard, and it’s harder on women. I’m grateful she’s taken to it so well. And she’ll probably leave me at some point, you know … I’ll just be left there on the desk.

Listen to the full interview with Karl Stefanovic below:

Over the summer, Samantha Armytage – who recently joined Nine – co-hosted the show for a week. There has been speculation there might come a day when she’s your next co-host.

In this game, there’s stuff you have control of and there’s stuff you don’t. At any point on any given day, I can be replaced. The show is bigger than I am. I don’t see Sarah ever being replaced. And I genuinely have no interest in working with anyone else. That’s not a slight on Sam. I’ve done 20 years, and I don’t know about going through all that with another person. I’m closer to the end than the start. That’s the reality.

Last year, there was an independent review into bullying, discrimination and sexual harassment at Nine, and you spoke out in support of your female colleagues, saying: “It’s going to be up to all of us now to do better, to say enough. This stops now.” What was the response to those comments?

I don’t really care about anything other than the women who were in pain and who were put through the things that they’ve articulated. There are really strong women at the network now who have their eye out, who have the ear of upstairs. I think the scales have been balanced. I think there’s awareness. I think women have been empowered. And I think everyone is in a position now where they’re hoping they can just get on with the work. Every big legacy organisation, I think, is going to have to go through this. I’m glad that we are.

None of us can wave a magic wand when it comes to redoing the past. But if you could, is there anything you would undo from the past 20 years?

I don’t have any regrets. I might have done some things a bit differently. But they’re not regrets. Because everything that’s happened has led to some sort of upheaval or change I’ve learnt from. I’m pretty relaxed about my weaknesses as a human. I’m still working on myself, to be a better husband and father. And I’ll continue doing that. Some of the greatest things that ever happen to you are really awful, but the lesson is worth it. Tomorrow I might go on air and [there will] be some clusterf*ck that happens and it’s all over. But I’ve got a pretty good take on things now. Even when I’m walking the wire – and I know I’m on the wire – you know, I’m going to keep walking it sometimes. Because I’m f*cking crazy.

Read, watch and listen to the exclusive interview with Karl Stefanovic out today.

Find it in Stellar inside The Sunday Telegraph (NSW), Sunday Herald Sun (VIC), The Sunday Mail (QLD) and Sunday Mail (SA); at stellarmag.com.au, or Something To Talk About, wherever you get your podcasts.

Originally published as ‘There is no ill will’: What Karl Stefanovic really thinks about ex-Today Show co-host Lisa Wilkinson