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Please stop asking me this question and leave me in peace

You may think it’s sweet, but honestly, it’s just really annoying.

Common myths of being a working parent

When I was dating, they asked when I was getting engaged.

When I got engaged, they asked about the wedding.

I got married, and the questions about having a baby began.

I have a baby, and just as I thought the questions about my life’s checklist of milestones were done, I get asked this banger: "So, when’s the next baby?"

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Please, stop!

My 13-month-old typically only wakes up once a night (sometimes she sleeps through!), I have a workout routine at my local Pilates studio, and I even went to a wedding with my husband sans child recently.

I’ve started working part-time and am starting to feel like I’m finding my groove again.

It’s not that I don’t want another child– I do; it’s just I have a bit to work out beforehand. 

I also don’t particularly feel like discussing it with Uncle Jim, my mum’s bestie, my cousin’s husband, my nail lady, the ALDI attendant or the woman who makes my Bahn Mi.

Is there ever the perfect time?

I’m constantly yo-yo-ing between enjoying our little family of three and worrying falling pregnant may not be easy.

Thinking I can have two kids in a two-bedroom cozy apartment and wanting to build my career to afford to move to a bigger place.

And while I’m sure the woman making my Vietnamese roll would offer some wonderful insights into the perfect age gap, I think my husband and I should probably reach the decision mutually.

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I'm happy with being a mum of one for now.
I'm happy with being a mum of one for now.

Are you guilty?

While we’re in no rush right now, it’s also very often the case couples are actually trying and having a difficult time falling pregnant.

When I was struggling to fall pregnant, being constantly asked, “So, when are you having a baby?” just left me feeling pretty crappy.

"Well, Aunty Alice, we're working on it, but it appears I'm not as fertile as we had hoped," probably would have turned the vibe of Christmas lunch a little sour.

You may be excited to see your friend or family member (or Bahn mi customer) expand their little family, but chances are, there’s a reason behind their decision.

So, here’s a PSA for everyone today: Stop asking people when they are going to have a baby and leave them in peace!

Originally published as Please stop asking me this question and leave me in peace

Original URL: https://www.thechronicle.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/please-stop-asking-me-this-question-and-leave-me-in-peace/news-story/57942acd8ea746641116d4882c427150