My wife wants to wait until our daughter is 13 before she rides a bike

"Her reasons are many and completely ridiculous."

Riding a bike is a rite of passage for any child. 

Placing on the chunky helmet and eating gravel is something most people do in their youth.  

However, one father is at odds with his wife because she is pumping the brakes on introducing the milestone to their eight-year-old daughter. 

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"My wife is afraid of our girl riding a bike"

Since their daughter, Tillie, was four, the dad says he's pitched the idea, but his wife Lanna has shut it down. At a loss for what to do he decided to write into an advice column for help. 

“Lanna was vehemently opposed to the idea because she was convinced that our daughter would injure herself. Tillie is an active child with no disabilities that would impair her ability to ride a bike,” he explains. 

“Each year I have brought this up with my wife, but there’s always a reason she vetoes it.” 

Last Christmas, the dad made another attempt to warm Lanna up the idea. But once again the mum refused, worried that Tille would “take off somewhere and get run over or kidnapped.”  

Now that Tillie is a little older her friends are all at the stage where they use bikes, making Tillie the only one who doesn’t have one.  It’s causing her to grow increasingly upset, because they’ve all been riding since before kindergarten.  

It’s leading to tension in the household and arguments between the couple.

“When I asked Lanna what age she would be comfortable with allowing our daughter to have a bike, her reply was ‘maybe 13 or 14.’ I think this is completely unreasonable, but she refuses to budge."

Image: iStock

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"You don’t want her to always worry that she won’t be able to do it" 

There’s also implications on the mother-daughter bond. 

“I am concerned that Tillie will not only miss out on a central part of her childhood, but also that her relationship with he mother will be damaged,” the dad continues. 

The advice he got in return from the columnist was pragmatic. 

Nicole Chung said that scrapes and bumps were an expected park of learning to ride a bike, and as a parent, worrying about that is completely understandable. But it shouldn’t rule decision making. 

“It doesn’t mean that Lanna can reasonably base all parenting decisions on that fear, or Tillie would never get to do or experience anything,” her advice read. 

To effectively communicate with his wife, he shouldn’t bask in the negative of highlighting who is wrong in the situation. Instead he should talk in positive terms that encompass the benefits. 

“You don’t want her to always worry that she won’t be able to do something, or refrain from trying because she thinks she might fail." 

For safety information on bike-riding see Raising Children Australia, who recommends riding bikes in safe places and adhering to road rules, and advises that before allowing kids to ride alone there needs to be plenty of supervised practice with good examples of safe riding. 

Originally published as My wife wants to wait until our daughter is 13 before she rides a bike