My husband has an unusual rule for how our son's name should be said

"It's annoying and I don't remember ever agreeing to it."

A mum has turned to the internet for advice about her husband's strict rule for people who say their son's name. 

"Since our son was born, people have called him both Daniel and Danny. Particularly, my family and daycare call him Danny," the mum began in her post to Mumsnet. 

"When daycare asked me what to call him when he started at one-years-old, I said either was fine. At no point has anyone been told, 'We'd prefer the full Daniel'."

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The nickname dilemma

Now her husband is saying that he always agreed that he could be Danny when he was little, but would be Daniel when older because he feels Danny is "babyish."

While the mum says she remembers when discussing names that they liked the idea that he would have the option of nickname or full name, she doesn't remember ever agreeing to "insisting" on one over the other after he was born.

"I wouldn't have done that because I think our son will no doubt choose his own preferred version when he can, or not care which, and we'll go along with it," she explained.

"His speech is nowhere near good enough to communicate that yet. He is also only two, still in nappies and in my eyes is definitely still very little!"

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Her husband is now saying they should tell daycare and relatives that it's Daniel.

But the mum disagrees, especially when it comes to family.

"I'm sure daycare would raise an eyebrow but probably do it, and anyway, we're not in there to see whether they do or not!" she says.

"But my husband plans to tell my family on Sunday when we see them, which is going to be met with incredulity and probably laughter.

"I suspect they'll agree as they'll appreciate it's your child, your rules thing, but I think it's ridiculous!

"There is also the potential for an argument as unfortunately there has been tensions between him and them in the past. They're bound to forget sometimes too."

The whole situation has left the mum wondering, "Is it really our right to dictate this?"

"I thought of briefing them beforehand and asking that they use Daniel in front of my husband but can use Danny if he's not there but that just seems so underhand and also quite disrespectful to my husband. Should I be supporting his POV even if I disagree?!"

Image: IStock

"Lighten up"

The mum put up a poll on the matter and 89% of people voted for "You are not being unreasonable."

"It seems like a very strange thing to get het up about. Is he okay?" someone asked. "You can't control what people call him. It's very common to call someone Danny and there's nothing wrong with that. You can't stop him from making his announcement, but no one has to obey him."

"He needs to lighten up," a second said.

Another person pointed out: "It's not actually your choice or his choice. It's your child's choice; how's he going to react in a year or two time when your child wants to be called Danny? Hmm.

"I wouldn't be going along with his nonsense and would be telling family they can call him either."

And someone else urged the mum to speak up, saying: "Your husband doesn't get to unilaterally decide this. You need to assert yourself."

However, 11% said the mum was being unreasonable. 

"I very much appreciate the idea of using full names. If he is really set on it and you don't mind, then I say go with it. Your son will make his own choices as he gets older anyway, and that will be his right," one in the minority camp said.

Another wrote: "Daniel is his name. I really don't see anything wrong with asking people to call him Daniel."

"Daniel is much, much nicer than Danny," a third said. 

What should this mum do? Tell us in the Facebook comments. 

Originally published as My husband has an unusual rule for how our son's name should be said