My daughter can’t afford to buy nappies, but I refuse to help out financially

“If they’re in such a bind, maybe they can stop spending money on luxuries … like getting Starbucks each morning.” 

Raising kids is no cheap task, and no matter how prepared you may think you are for a baby, reality often hits new parents like an oncoming truck. 

Recently, *Irene’s daughter Katrina, 28, and her husband Nick*, 30, welcomed their first child into the world, and naturally, they were pretty excited about it. 

The couple are very well-off and have “no real financial issues”; they own their own house and have three “nice cars” in their garage.  

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Irene wasn't happy that her daughter needed financial help. Picture: iStock

“I know those things can be expensive but…”

Irene and her husband are “retired now” and live on a “modest income”. While t’s nothing brag-worthy, the couple “get by just fine”. 

On the other hand, their daughter and her husband have been raking it in. 

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“Both of them work good-paying jobs, and between the two of them, they make more money than my husband and I ever did while raising our kids,” Irene shared on Reddit. 

“They have a beautiful home, nice cars, and no real financial issues that I can see. They are literally upper middle class.”

This brings us to the present day - it appears that Katrina and Nick are facing serious financial issues.

“Ever since the baby was born, they have hinted that they can’t do things like going out to eat and whatnot,” mum Irene said. 

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According to Irene, the new parents have been complaining about the cost of baby essentials and claimed they were unable to afford the items they needed for their newborn. 

“They’ve asked me to cover groceries a few times, help with baby supplies, and even pitch in for some home repairs because they’re ‘tight on money’ from all the baby expenses,” Irene lamented. 

It’s got to a point where Katrina has even asked her mother for help to pay for “baby formula and diapers”. 

“I know those things can be expensive, but the way she was talking made it sound like they were on the verge of financial ruin,” Irene said. 

In her eyes, if she could raise a gaggle of children with her salary, then her daughter could do the same. “They make more money than we ever did, and when I had my kids, I didn’t get any financial help from anyone,” she said. “We managed on a lot less and without any handouts.”

If her daughter was “in such a bind” financially, there would be steps she could take, such as selling “their third car” and stop “getting Starbucks each morning”. But after telling her daughter this, Katrina accused her mother of “not caring about my grandchild and not understanding how expensive everything is these days”. 

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“The first kid can be incredibly overwhelming”

Irene received a mixed bag of responses from people online, with some agreeing that her daughter should tighten her belt if she is struggling to pay for her child’s needs. 

“These are things your daughter and her husband needed to figure out before they decided to have a child,” a person wrote. 

“Everyone who had a baby has experienced the shock of how expensive everything is,” a parent added. “The other experience is that this is your baby, so you have to grow up and do some hard things.”

Another agreed: “Definitely sounds like they’re living a lifestyle that they’re unable to support.” Others wondered if Katrina and her husband were trying to appear wealthy but were actually up to their necks in debt. 

But some wondered if Irene and her husband could be a little more understanding towards the new parents and offer them support rather than vitriol. After all, it is more expensive to raise a child in this day and age compared to 30 years ago. 

“You can’t really compare what you were making when you were raising her dollar-for-dollar,” someone said. 

“As you know, the first kid can be incredibly overwhelming,” a comment read. “Maybe offer to help them figure out their finances or refer them to a financial advisor.”

“Could you sit your daughter down and say you’d be happy to go through her finances and help find ways of cutting down on expenses to make things work?” asked another. 

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My daughter can’t afford to buy nappies, but I refuse to help out financially