'I have three empty bedrooms, but my son refuses to come visit'

"I miss my grandchildren terribly."

A heartbroken grandmother has shared how, by moving away and then refusing to visit, her son has denied her a relationship with the next generation.

“My son and his wife moved three and half hours away and then had children,” the grandmother writes in an advice-seeking forum.

“The move wasn't for work or house prices, it was simply to live by the sea.

“Both my son and his wife drive, but I've had to stop driving due to age related health conditions.”

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“I miss them terribly”

The grandmother explains that while her son and his wife won't drive to her because it’s too far and they both work, she has been invited to stay at their home.

“They have said if I wanted to see them and the children, I can come and see them even though they know I can't drive. They also don't have a room at their house, so I will have to stay in alternative accommodation.

“But here, I have three empty bedrooms.”

The heartbroken woman adds, “I invited them to come and stay with me instead, but now my son is saying I obviously don't want to visit so don't bother - and declined my invitation.

“I miss my son terribly and the grandchildren.

“Am I being unreasonable to think they shouldn't expect me to travel all that way with no car and book myself into a hotel when they could just drive down and visit me and I have the room?”

Image: iStock

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“Why can’t you get the train?”

Responses were deeply divided on the grandma's dilemma.

“If they have young children then three and half hours is a difficult journey, car or no car,” one user wrote. "Why can't you get the train? If you miss them as much as you say then you'll make it happen.”

Many others felt similarly.

“A three and a half hour journey would be a lot harder for them with multiple kids if they're working,” a different reply began. “It's a lot more disruptive for four people to travel seven hours (return) and stay in an unfamiliar house, than one person!

"Are you able to get a train or other transport? Perhaps meet halfway and your son could pick you up?”

Many posters felt that this grandmother wasn’t very insightful into how her son and his young family might be feeling, with this one saying:

“You are rich in the one asset they don't have - time. Spend that time on finding ways to see them where it's easiest for them to be, rather than expecting them to spend time they can't afford so that you don't have to put in effort.”

Finally, one reader wondered if there might be more to this story than the grandmother revealed:

“You don’t deem the reason they moved away as valid “simply to live by the sea” as if you can only move due to work or family. Therefore you’ve passed judgement on their priorities and where they’ve chosen best for their family.

"Would this resentment be something that he’s picked up on?”

Originally published as 'I have three empty bedrooms, but my son refuses to come visit'