I gave birth on a friend's sofa. Now she won't speak to me

"What's her problem? She should feel honoured for her home to be the site of the magical moment - like the stable in Bethlehem."

Lilly* was enjoying a girls' night at a friend's house when her baby decided to arrive - not in an Uber, but via her vagina.

Lilly unexpectedly gave birth on her friend Ella's sofa, and learned the first rule of parenting; kids are often selfish with their timing.

Ambos were called to oversee the delivery, and everything went smoothly. 

But, much to Lilly's surprise, Ella has not acknowledged her precious newborn since. Shouldn't she feel honoured for her home to be the site of such a magical moment?

Like the stable in Bethlehem?

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RELATED: ‘I was shamed after delivering at 32 weeks’

"I banished everyone from the house"

Lilly has since been wondering if making all the guests leave during her labour - including Ella, whose house it is - could be the source of friction. (Plot twist: it is not.)

"Ella has been cold towards us ever since. She’s the only one who hasn’t come by," the new mum tells an online advice group.

But then Lilly admits weeks passed before she reached out with a thanks and apology. Which may be why Ella merely responded with... a bill for a new sofa.

"She sent me a bill for the sofa," the mum continues. 

"Which I don’t mind paying at all... but it still felt kinda.. harsh?  

"Ella seems really hurt though? I don’t know how to fix this. I feel guilty."

A very stained sofa. Image: Supplied

RELATED: MIL demands to be at birth in wild text exchange

"You couldn't control your labour, but this is on you"

After reading 1400 comments telling her that she was in the wrong, Lilly said she would "step away" from the post, but also take responsibility.

"This situation has been insane for us, but also for Ella. And I hadn’t properly thought of that, which is very much on me.

"I’m going to try and reach out again, pay her back everything (as I should!) and try and resolve this somehow."

But that was not before she was told off for being "ungracious" and "ungrateful", repeatedly.

One example is this comment: 

"Now that you've given birth you know how messy it is. It's like a freaking crime scene. No one wants to sit on a couch where someone gives birth.

"A couch is an expensive and important piece of furniture. That your partner didn't step in and ask to immediately pay for a replacement and offer to get cleaners for the room is baffling. And if you have time to post this on Reddit and you haven't offered a replacement and payment to Ella yet, that's really bad manners and thoughtless.

"Her sending you the couch bill as a response is curt, but your apology should have included an offer to pay."

Another commenter put it this way to reinforce the impact on Ella:

"Not only is Ella out the cost of a new couch, but the old one also had to be removed and destroyed, quite possibly at extra cost due to hazardous waste, and the room was basically unusable until it was gone.

"If I was Ella and I didn’t hear from the poster until she sent a thank you message but nothing about money a few weeks later, I’d be pretty pissed too!"

*Not her real name.

Originally published as I gave birth on a friend's sofa. Now she won't speak to me