'I found out my husband died during our girl's party - I didn't tell anyone'

A wife found out her husband died during their daughter's birthday party.

A wife found out her husband died during their daughter's birthday party, but didn't tell anyone.

Millie was in the middle of the chaos that was her daughter’s fifth birthday party when her phone rang.

On the other end of the line was her pastor – who broke the devastating news that her husband *Tomas had died in a car accident on his way to the celebration.

“It was so sudden and devastating - but I didn’t want to interrupt my daughter’s birthday, so I waited until the evening to tell my family,” a heartbroken Millie shared on Reddit.

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Millie found out her husband had died in the middle of their daughter's fifth birthday. Source: iStock

"He was my rock - I can't make decisions without him"

Understandably, Millie and her daughter really struggled to cope with their grief in the weeks and months after Tomas’ death.

“I’m scared, I'm overwhelmed and don't know if I'm capable of making any rational decisions,” Millie sadly said.

“He was my rock and always had a positive impact on my life as I'd suffered from depression for years.

“I'm not strong without him and feel like I have huge responsibilities that I'm not sure I can handle without him.”

Millie was left feeling especially overwhelmed as the first anniversary of her husband’s death rolled around.

Although she wanted to mourn Tomas, it was also her daughter’s sixth birthday, which Millie didn’t want to go unacknowledged.

RELATED: Widow finds husband’s phone three years after he died

"My in-laws didn't want a party on the day my husband died"

So she decided to ask her in-laws to help her throw a small party with close friends for her daughter’s birthday.

“They were shocked that I was even thinking about ‘throwing a party’ knowing that this is the same day my husband passed away,” Millie retold.

“I told them I'd be taking the morning to celebrate his first anniversary - then celebrate my daughter's sixth birthday in the evening.”

But despite Millie’s explanation, her in-laws were still furious about the party and refused to have any part in it.

So Millie decided to go ahead with the plan on her own.

"My MIL said I was callous for celebrating my daughter's birthday"

On the day of the anniversary, Millie and her daughter spent time at the cemetery before heading home around 4pm to start the birthday celebration.

A few close friends attended the party, bringing homemade presents that they made with photos of Tomas.

To Millie, it seemed like the perfect way to celebrate her daughter considering the circumstances, however, her in-laws didn’t feel the same way when they spotted a photo of the event on Facebook.

“My mother-in-law said I was teaching my daughter to be callous with no sympathy instead of taking the day to mourn her father's death properly,” Millie shared.

Millie hit back, informing her MIL that her daughter deserved to celebrate her birthday every year just like every other kid, despite the tragedy that had occurred.

“My MIL said it was highly disrespectful of me and kept saying I messed up and caused the entire family more hurt on this awful day,” Millie added.

“She said she won’t forget this massive display of disrespect until the day she dies.”

RELATED: Mother-in-law furious after granddaughter’s birthday

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"My husband would have wanted our daughter's birthday celebrated"

Now Millie’s been left at war with her in-laws and extended family, who have accused her of being “callous and irrational”.

This strong reaction has caused her to doubt her decision, even though she was pretty sure Tomas would have wanted her to celebrate their daughter’s birthday.

“My husband would have wanted our daughter to be able to celebrate her birthday as it mattered to him a lot,” she said.

“I have no doubt that he'd want us to celebrate it every year just like we did with him in the past years. I have no doubt in my mind.

“But maybe I was been disrespectful to my in-laws?”

*Names have been changed

This story was originally published on 11.08.21 and updated on 2.09.24.

Originally published as 'I found out my husband died during our girl's party - I didn't tell anyone'