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I confronted a dad who left his 4yo alone on the beach

"But his only response was: He is mine, he is fine," Aussie mum Shona tells Kidspot.

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Summertime in Australia means beach time for many families, and we are one of them.

My husband, kids and I recently went on a family holiday to the Central Coast of NSW where we enjoyed a week of the sunshine and warm ocean water; body boarding (or at least attempting to), swimming, splashing and relaxing.

And it was on one of our trips to the sand that I came across a different scene; one that made my heart skip a beat and my mama blood boil.

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"He is mine, he is fine"

You see, as we arrived at the beach, I saw a boy, I’d estimate four, perhaps even a bit younger, standing alone, wearing only board shorts, crying and looking out to the water. He was also yelling something indecipherable.

Given how busy it was, I had thought that perhaps he got lost but decided to wait a couple more minutes (while keeping an eye on him) before approaching him just in case his absent parent/s came over and this poor kid could be consoled. But then, my heart couldn’t wait anymore, so I decided to intervene.

After asking the boy several times where his parents were, looking around to see whether any adult eyes were giving me the what are you doing with my child look, I was just about to lead him over to the lifeguard station when a man waded out from the water, came over to me and told me casually, “He is mine. He is fine. Please leave him alone.”

With this, although the boy looked anything but fine, I took the hint and headed back to my family, thinking that now the dad had seen how upset his young son was that he would remain with him.

I was wrong.

Soon after, I looked up to see the dad had just turned around and gone back into the water. He was with a girl who I assumed was his approximately nine-year-old daughter, leaving his son standing shirtless and hatless, still crying.

Shona and her family, and a child at the beach. Image: supplied
Shona and her family, and a child at the beach. Image: supplied

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"He should be actively supervising his child"

Still, hoping for the best, or no, should I say, the right and responsible thing, I had hoped that perhaps he would give his daughter some advice and then leave her to tackle the smaller waves solo, while he returned to supervise his visibly upset pre-schooler son.

But alas, he remained out in the water for the entire time we were at the beach (about an hour), and other than an occasional glance from his position, he just continued to leave his son unsupervised where anything could have happened.

I took on a surrogate responsibility of at least ensuring the boy didn’t wander off or get lured away by strangers; but in regard to sun protection, his emotional wellbeing or whatever happened when we left, I do not know. And this just makes me angry.

It makes me angry because his dad needed to be actively supervising his child. This is no one else's responsibility but his. It isn’t the lifeguards', it isn’t random kind strangers. And if you are venturing to the beach solo with two children, you need to implement adequate measures, or alter your activities so that you can do this effectively.

This does not mean leaving a visibly upset, young child, alone for over an hour as you help your older daughter in the waves. Do that another day when you have another adult who can help supervise your son or come to the beach just with your daughter. And if this isn’t a possibility do something where you can supervise both of your children at the same time. There are options, way better options than what this man chose.

Anything can happen at the beach even when we do supervise; there are unpredictable waves, currents, jellyfish, the burning sun and sand, and holidaymakers (like me) who don’t know how to control their surf boards - it isn’t a location to be relaxed with your parenting. It is a time to be vigilant.

Just bloody supervise your kids at the beach, people.

For information on beach and water safety, see the Raising Children Network.

Originally published as I confronted a dad who left his 4yo alone on the beach

Original URL: https://www.thechronicle.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/i-confronted-a-dad-who-left-his-4yo-alone-on-the-beach/news-story/bdde7698260af8757088a2d183b537ad