Four things you can’t possibly know if you aren’t a parent of twins

"The moment you find out it's twins, everything you were expecting from your pregnancy, birth and beyond goes out of the window," writes the mum of three.

Source: Supplied

The moment you find out you’re having twins, everything changes. The experience you were expecting from your pregnancy, birth and beyond goes out of the window, and you need to get your head around a completely new reality.

There are all kinds of new things to navigate like whether your car or home will be big enough, through to managing logistics like how you’re going to get any sleep with two babies waking at different times.

People around you will be full of advice about EVERYTHING. The vast majority of those people won’t have had twins. 

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People will also make judgements about you and all of your choices. I’m so thankful I joined our local twin club when I was pregnant as I made lots of friends who were ahead of me on their parenting journey or who were going through it as the same time as me.  

Only another parent of multiples understands what it’s really like to have more than one baby at once, and they will not only have the best advice and tips for you but they’ll be there to listen without judgement because they ‘get it’ in a way that nobody else can.

Here are four of the things people can’t know unless they’ve been blessed with having two or more babies at the same time…

Karen and her happy family. Source: Supplied

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1. How two toddlers of the same age can quite literally bounce off one another and cause chaos.

For some reason, the moment you add a second child of the same age to the mix everything changes. Where one toddler would listen and hold your hand (as my singleton daughter did), two just fuel the excitement. 

Putting two adventurous toddlers together creates a unique friction that has the potential to create utter chaos!

If you’ve ever had a play date and have seen your well-behaved toddler suddenly get over-excited and overstimulated, you have an idea of what it can be like to have two best friends together who won’t listen. Imagine if your life was like that ALL the time. 

Source: Supplied

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2. How difficult it is when you’re out shopping with two babies and they start screaming at the same time. 

When a single baby cries while you’re out shopping because they’re hungry, you can stop to feed them. If a single toddler screams because they want to get out of their buggy to walk, you can take them out and hold their hand and walk with them.  

With twins, it’s a very different experience. 

Feeding two babies when you’re out and about is a lot trickier and it takes more planning, and it’s not very easy taking two toddlers out of a buggy to walk as you also have to push the buggy so you only have one hand free to hold them.

3. The extra financial pressures that come from having two kids of the same age. 

When you have two babies at once, you need two cots, two car seats, and an expensive double buggy…

Then you have two lots of childcare to pay for if you go back to work.  

When they start school, you have to buy two sets of new uniforms as you don’t have any hand me downs if they’re your first/only kids. For school trips, you have double the fees to pay (plus all of the extras you need to buy for the trip x 2). 

Two babies are so expensive and often situations don’t offer much in the way of sibling discounts (and even if they do, it’s usually just 10% off one child, which as you’re paying 100% more isn’t much of a saving!) 

4. The incredible feeling of being able to cuddle two and watch two grow. 

Yes, raising twins is expensive and (at times) difficult and twin parents need to figure out creative ways to deal with the unique challenges that we face every day. But we get to experience the unique blessing of raising two best friends, getting double the cuddles and we get to enjoy seeing their special bond grow.

It really is a privilege. 

The years are short so do it your own way

I wish I could go back to the new-mum me and reassure her that it didn’t matter what other people who had never been in my situation thought about my parenting methods. At the time, I gave them far too much attention and let people’s judgements get under my skin. 

The fact is, they couldn’t possibly understand what raising twins was like while watching from the sidelines. 

Originally published as Four things you can’t possibly know if you aren’t a parent of twins