Netflix crime drama Adolescence sparking conversations with boys, young men about social media, respect and consent

A gripping television series has parents across Australia questioning if we are doing enough to protect teens from harmful messages online. Read the expert advice.

“What does it feel like to be a man?”

This is the question asked of a 13-year-old boy accused of murdering a female classmate in the hit Netflix crime drama Adolescence.

And it has parents all over Australia asking themselves how they can protect their kids from the kinds of harmful messages that can lead to such a devastating outcome.

The fictionalised series, set in England, centres on character Jamie Miller, who is accused of fatally stabbing fellow student Katie Leonard.

Owen Cooper as Jamie Miller in Adolescence. Picture: Netflix

The case raises questions about where a middle-class teen from a loving home encountered the ideas that led him to such violence.

The intense drama has shocked many viewers with its portrayal of the entitlement, anger, insecurity and self-loathing festering among the boys and young men it depicts.

Some might dismiss Adolescence as just another thriller putting a new spin on the well-worn narrative of male violence against women.

But what has captured the attention of millions of viewers, and sparked conversations in both family rooms and classrooms, is the unflinching focus on the attitudes that drive male violence – and how exactly our boys are being exposed from an alarmingly young age.

As one expert told the Sunday Mail, it is “a call to all of us” to pay attention.

What does it mean to be a man?

This question, at the heart of Adolescence, is a hard one to answer for some young Australians.

“Many boys are uncomfortable with stereotypes that expect them to be dominant and aggressive, but don’t always have the tools, language or support to reject those stereotypes,” says Patty Kinnersly, who heads national violence prevention body Our Watch.

“They’re bombarded with online messages telling them they’re either the problem – or the victims. We need to meet them with something better: a vision of positive masculinity that goes beyond rigid and outdated ideas of how to be a man.”

Daniel Principe, a youth educator who has worked with 45,000 boys at more than 300 Australian schools, says almost every one had been exposed to pornographic or violent content online.

“It is the wild west out there,” he says.

“There is a desensitisation around … telling others to kill themselves, body shaming, rape threats, sexual assault threats and jokes that are just completely normalised.

“(Young men) haven’t created this toxic digital landscape that they are navigating … but they are having to live through it, so we have to support them through that.”

‘Incel’ culture and the ‘manosphere’

Many viewers of Adolescence may be learning for the first time about certain landmarks of that digital landscape, such as the ‘manosphere’ and ‘incel culture’.

Manosphere is a term used to describe a spectrum of views online about masculinity, increasingly dominated by mysognogy, disrespect of women and opposition to gender equality.

Mary Leaker, who heads SA advocacy body Embolden, says the rise of the manosphere “is of real concern given that young men who adhere to rigid, stereotypical ideas about masculinity have been found to be more likely to use physical and sexual violence against an intimate partner”.

Owen Cooper as Jamie Miller in Adolescence. Picture: Netflix

Incel – or involuntary celibate – culture is largely adopted by heterosexual men who feel sexually rejected by women.

It emerges that the victim in Adolescence, Katie, accused main character Jamie of being an ‘incel’, and shamed him for it online.

Jamie reveals she also rejected him when he asked her out in person.

He encountered ‘incel’ messaging online and appears to have internalised many of its beliefs, telling a psychologist he is ugly, will never be desired, and that he faces unfair competition for the attention of women.

La Trobe University expert Anthony Collins says incel culture is not just about sexual rejection or exclusion, but broader feelings of loneliness and isolation.

It works on a “hierarchy of desirability” that favours conventionally attractive, powerful or wealthy people and can leave those who don’t fit the mould with a “sense of being deliberately excluded, treated with contempt … (and) not valued”.

Dr Collins says incel culture also pits young men in “a battle of the sexes” against women and “also a battle between men of different statuses”.

A key trait of the kind of masculinity that wins that battle “is exerting physical dominance” and this can translate into justifying acts of violence, Dr Collins adds.

Not a far-fetched tale

It is not based on one particular real-word case, but the creators of Adolescence say it was inspired by murders in Britain, including the stabbing of a young girl at a bus stop and another who was lured into a park by two teenagers.

The series was released as the Australian public was learning more about the murder of Sydney woman Lilie James by a man who felt rejected when she ended their brief relationship.

Lilie James was murdered by a man who she had a brief relationship with. Picture: Supplied

Paul Thijssen was later identified and named the prime suspect in Lilie’s murder after disappearing and later taking his own life.

Paul Thijssen, 23, violently beat Ms James, 21, to death in October 2023 in a bathroom at the school where they worked, before taking his own life.

A coronial inquest has revealed a pattern of controlling and aggressive behaviour by Thijssen, including tracking and intimidating Ms James.

Experts gave evidence that Thijssen’s violence stemmed from feelings of inadequacy and humiliation at not being enough for her, and a desire for control.

Ms James’ devastated parents Peta and Jamie stressed the importance of “teaching boys how to accept and value a woman’s opinions and choices and accept rejection”.

What are governments doing?

Around the time of Ms James’ murder the federal government announced a $3.5m trial to “disrupt the messages that drive violence against women”, such as those spread by online influencers like Andrew Tate.

It is also moving to ban under-16s accessing social media, which Education Minister Jason Clare hopes will mean “fewer boys are brainwashed in that cesspit”.

Mr Clare said another five-year, $77.6m program launched in 2024 was teaching about respect, consent, coercive control and “stopping this at the start before the worst happens”.

In South Australia, mobile phones are banned from classrooms and a $4m respectful relationships program was introduced at all public schools last year.

Self-described misogynist influencer Andrew Tate. Picture: Daniel Mihailescu/AFP

SA Education Minister Blair Boyer said Adolescence was “terrifying” to watch, both as the man responsible for the state’s school system and the father of three young daughters.

“With the rise in reports of misogynistic behaviour, including some of the abhorrent views of people such as Andrew Tate, we have been on the front foot in trying to combat this,” he said.

A call to listen – and learn

The final episode of the four-part series ends with the harrowing image of Jamie’s father Eddie lying on his imprisoned son’s bed, howling into the pillow.

His final, heartbreaking line: “I should have done better”.

Youth educator Daniel Principe says this is “a call to all of us”.

“I try to listen (to boys) and that’s, I think, what we all need to do – as educators, parents, family members, community members – is listen, and to try to understand what’s going on in their ’ lives.”

For support phone 1800 RESPECT or Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800).

Originally published as Netflix crime drama Adolescence sparking conversations with boys, young men about social media, respect and consent