James Weir recaps Farmer Wants A Wife 2023 episode 2

Just 24-hours into this reality show, one of the contestants has already unravelled — blurting out a strange admission. James Weir recaps.

One day in and someone’s already unravelling.

A distraught Farmer Wants A Wife contestant breaks down near a remote septic tank on Monday night and pleads guilty to dating the same man as the four other women standing next to her, as per the rules of the show she signed up for.

This series is always branded as the wholesome alternative to other reality romance shows — but they all share the same three pillars: tears, tantrums and threats to quit. We tick all the criteria on the bingo card tonight.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:Read all the recaps here

We’re 24-hours in and our remaining two farmers, David and Andrew, are tasked with whittling down their flocks with a series of speed dates.

“My vibe right now is, ‘I’m ready for it!’ Yee-haw! Bring it on,” Jessie, a creative consultant, says. She’s working overtime to seem cool and carefree.

I’M BREEZY!

Jessie saunters into the barn and sits on the old chesterfield sofa with Andrew. The first topic of conversation is obvious: What exactly is a creative consultant?

The answer is simple: Jessie creatively consults creatives on their creative creations.

“I kind of do consulting kind of for, like, artists … I work with everything from yoga teachers to meditation and things like that, yeah,” she nods, as if it all makes complete sense.

Working as a creative consultant for yoga teachers is a cutthroat industry.

Any thoughts, Andrew?

“She looks after stuff in that … creative sorta world?” he stammers while cocking his head. “I don’t know what the hell she (does).”

Like, same.

Maybe she can offer your sheep some creative consultations?

When Claire rolls in, there’s a sigh of relief. She has a job Andrew understands: truck driver at the mines. They bond over their past work in the NT and it’s clear there’s a lot of common ground. But Claire is nervous and Andrew isn’t a smooth talker. This combination ends in disaster.

“I guess as it comes to family and kids I definitely thought I would’ve had them by now and it’s definitely something I’d like before I’m 40,” she blurts out.

Andrew nods, a stunned expression plastered on his face. “Yeah, yeah, yeah … nah … that’s … good news. Put it all out there. Yeah, yeah.”

Claire frantically prattles on. “What else? Do ya wanna know anything else?”

“Nah, that’ll do, I think, for the time being,” Andrew wraps her up, getting to his feet and showing her the door. “Well … time, time, time. We gotta … yeah.”

Look, even though it’s a speed date, he’s clearly not a natural at this kind of stuff. We’re sure his abruptness is just a miscommunicat-

“I don’t think he likes me,” Claire frets, jumping to the worst conclusion. “To be honest. I don’t think he felt the vibe.”

Well, vibes can be elusive and stubborn.

But how wrong Claire is. Andrew did in fact feel the vibe. Not only does she make the cut, she’s also given a 24-hour date, which means she’ll join Andrew one whole day before the other four girls arrive at his farm.

Does this calm her nerves? No. In fact, she gets even more wound up. Her intensity is supercharged.

“Has he been married before? And how long has he been single for? And why haven’t previous relationships worked out for him at his age?” she rehearses her conversation starters while fiddling with her hair in the bathroom mirror as she gets ready for a romantic dinner date with Andrew.

Just one day in, the unravelling of Claire is in progress.

When the other four girls arrive on the farm the following day, Claire is at rock bottom.

“Claire just looked distraught,” one of them cringes.

“We arrived and Claire looks really disappointed. And we’re not sure why. And she’s not really giving us any details,” another sighs.

Farmer Andrew takes all of them for a whirl around the property. As the LandCruiser picks up speed, Claire continues to unravel.

“I feel really terrible. I feel guilty,” she sobs, while looking around at the four other girls she met just 24 hours ago.

“I’ve developed feelings for Andrew and … the girls are my friends. I didn’t realise I would feel this bad. I feel an overwhelming sense of the guilt. And I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. And I always said if I felt like this then I wouldn’t do it, so … I’d rather just take myself out of the situation. And I think I’m ready to go home.”

Her sobs turn into a wail and she runs off into a field. But she doesn’t go home. Because, regardless of an Akubra and a flanno, a reality star is still a reality star.

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Originally published as James Weir recaps Farmer Wants A Wife 2023 episode 2