‘I was hurting’: Natalie Bassingthwaighte’s emotional new interview

Two months on from a coming out that turned into a tabloid circus, a still-fragile Natalie Bassingthwaighte tells us how she’s doing.

This year’s Sydney Mardi Gras will be a special celebration for Aussie entertainer Natalie Bassingthwaighte, coming months after she publicly revealed that she’s in a happy same-sex relationship.

That news, shared in a candid interview with Stellar magazine and the Something To Talk Aboutpodcast in November, came as a surprise to many, given she’d recently ended her 12-year marriage to husband Cameron McGlinchey.

Bassingthwaighte’s always had a sizeable queer following – you don’t sing bangers like Voodoo Child, In Love Again and Someday Soon without that happening – and many in the community congratulated her for coming out as part of “the family”.

Nat Bass says she’s learning “how to navigate my authentic self” since coming out.

But amid that was a small but ugly spike of hate, peaking when Bassingthwaighte went Insta-official with her new partner, Pip Loth, who uses they/them pronouns. And tabloid attention soon veered from the intense to the ridiculous, as the Daily Mail doorknocked loved ones in her local Byron Bay community and outed the wrong person as her new partner.

Days later, Bassingthwaighte was back on Instagram, visibly upset as she delivered a clear message to those who had anything negative to say about her sexuality or her new relationship: Back. Off.

For anyone who’s come out, or supported a loved one on that journey, her distress was difficult to witness.

Two months on from that ordeal, Bassingthwaighte is still feeling fragile, confessing she’s extremely nervous as gives one of her first interviews since coming out in Stellar. She’ll headline the Mardi Gras Debutante Ball by Johnnie Walker next month, a Sydney event aimed at people just like her: Those attending their first Mardi Gras since coming out.

Nat, how does it feel, heading into your first Mardi Gras an out member of the LGBTQ community?

So, I have been to Mardi Gras many times – I’ve even headlined. But now I definitely feel like a first timer. I’ve done so many queer events for many years, but it definitely feels different this time.

What is that feeling?

I’m excited, but I think I’m still really nervous. When I’m with my ‘people’, I feel really comfortable. I just feel like myself, I feel right at home, and I don’t feel scared.

But it’s when I’m not in that environment that I’m still trying to adjust to how I fit in. That’s the thing that I’m finding probably the hardest, is how to navigate my authentic self in this crazy world of ours.

You must’ve felt the love, though, when you came out – a lot of fans were thrilled at the news.

Look, I had to be really careful not to read too much because there were also nasty things being said, and that hurts. The ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones’ thing? It’s not true. I’ve never been one of those people.

It was so incredibly special to feel that [support], even walking down the street. But I mean, even this morning I had to do a live interview and my entire body was shaking. I was ringing my manager going, ‘I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m so terrified right now. I’m shaking and crying.’

Nat (right) and her partner Pip.

Do you know why?

I think that it’s residual … ‘trauma’ is too big of a word, but I think it’s growing up in a world where you weren’t allowed to be gay. I’m 48, so when I grew up, you just couldn’t.

My best friend is gay and most of my friends are queer, but I grew up in Wollongong. We were taught that heterosexual relationships and getting married are the only way forward. That’s been drilled into me from a very young age, and it’s hard to shake that.

And I think that’s what was going on this morning. I thought, why am I shaking? Because when I’m with my people, or with my partner, I just felt normal. It’s when there’s bigger stuff at play that it’s very jarring and it’s very hard to get out of my body.

Emotions are understandable. I came out 25 years ago and I’d still feel a bit vulnerable if I had to do a live interview on the topic – you’re a freshie!

Yeah. Also, I think: It’s none of your f**king business! The truth is, the reason I said it was because I felt pressured to say it, and that’s maybe why I still have nerves.

I felt pressure from the media, because when you’re in this industry, people do want to know about your personal life. It’s hard enough going through a marriage breakdown, let alone then adding this to the mix. I mean, a friend of mine texted me an ad billboard in Brisbane airport with a headline: “NATALIE AND HER HUSBAND HAVE BROKEN UP.” It’s too much!

Days after Stellar came out, you posted that video on Instagram, telling people to back off. You were obviously hurting.

Yeah. I was hurting because I have children, I have an ex-husband who I adore, I have family and I have a partner who finds it confronting to be exposed in the media. They’re shy. They’re not a ‘look at me’ person. To have themselves talked about or have themselves photographed or anything is incredibly overwhelming, and I’m very protective of that. I’m protective of my kids being bullied.

Nat still “adores” ex-husband Cam McGlinchey, seen here with their two children. Picture: Dylan Robinson

An emotional Nat told trolls to back off last November.

All of that has played out since I did the article, and I’m still dealing with it. The fear hasn’t left my body. It’s still in there. So I’m hoping that this [Mardi Gras] event will let me be able to shake it off with everyone else.

And the funny thing is: I don’t know if you remember this, but I did a song called Love Like This for marriage equality about a million years ago [2010, to be exact], with all the queer community coming out and dancing in my video clip. And here I am now … how bizarre!

That leads me to a bit of a delicate question – was the Nat in that music video feeling “closeted”? Have you always known, or was this a new development?

I’m definitely still navigating all of that. Without getting too personal, it did take me by surprise a little bit, but at the same time … not at all. I can say that I honestly feel more like myself than I ever had in my life. And that’s what’s been like, whoa. I really feel comfortable in every single way.

It’s obviously been an intense time, but has there also been some relief in coming out?

It felt like a relief when I said it in Stellar, because I didn’t know I was going to say it. I was just sitting there, and I’m like: “I think you say it. I think you say it. It’s coming out.”

Then I said it and I couldn’t take it back! As soon as I left the interview, I burst into tears and felt an overwhelming sense of relief – but then came fear. How is it going to be received? Are my kids going to be bullied at school, and how is my family going deal with it?

Nat says the tabloid intrusion after she came out was “really awful.”

Things then got intense for a few days there – the Daily Mail even outed the wrong person as your partner. Did life go back to normal after that?

That was really awful. She’s a friend of mine who just got married to her girlfriend, and they were followed for like two days. A car was camped out the front of their house, following them and asking questions. Then I had someone come to my house and knock on my door asking for quotes. I thought: Are you kidding? I said, “You’re not welcome here,” and I closed the door, with my whole body shaking.

So yeah, it felt very overwhelming. And then I said my piece on Instagram, which I think was celebrated because I wasn’t playing the victim. I just said: I’m not taking this, and if you want to say anything nasty, especially about my partner’s appearance, how they decide to dress and how they identify, that’s not okay.

This is a hard pivot, but I was very happy to see a new (old) Rogue Traders song, To The Disco, come out last year. Is there more to come?

Yes! We wrote a song last year and it is probably one of my favourite songs since Voodoo Child. I loved To The Disco too, but obviously that was a rehash of an older song of ours. This is brand new, fresh Rogue Traders, so that’ll come out this year.

But also: it’s the 20th anniversary of Voodoo Child this year. Can you believe it?

I actually can’t.

Me either. That’s ‘cause of how old we are.

Performing with Rogue Traders – new music to come in 2024. Picture: AAP

Will you be performing it at the Mardi Gras gig?

Look, I am performing, which is great, but I think this Debutante Ball is more important to me than just that. The event is for people like me, and it’s going to be such a beautiful, safe space, full of love and laughter and joy.

It’s going to be a celebration, because love is love, regardless of labels. That’s been important for me to realise: I go, ‘Ooh, am I queer?’ I think I must be, because I’m with a woman. But then I think, maybe I’m fluid?

I’m definitely not straight, that’s for sure. I can 100% tell you that!

Mardi Gras first-timers can enter a competition to attend the Johnnie Walker Mardi Gras Debutante Ball at Kinselas in Sydney on February 22, with Natalie Bassingthwaighte performing. Head to the website to enter – entries close January 26.

Originally published as ‘I was hurting’: Natalie Bassingthwaighte’s emotional new interview