Kate Middleton bum pat moment no one expected to see
The Princess of Wales stepped out onto the red carpet in London and things did not go according to the usual royal script.
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There is a reality show I would desperately love to watch one day: Royal Wives Behaving Badly. The biggest problem with this dream coming true is that there would only be one episode and it would come in under the five-minute mark.
Sure, producers could start with the time that Queen Camilla was caught seemingly rolling her eyes during a state visit by the Cheezel-coloured US president, a man for whom possibly the last thing he read start to finish were the Viagra instructions.
Then the TV makers could add on when Sophie, Countess of Wessex quipped to a comedian after a Royal Variety Performance, “Well, don’t give up your day job.”
But from there material starts to get very thin on the ground indeed.
Until, that is when on Monday morning, AEDT, the world was gifted the most glorious, surprising and naughty example of HRHs embracing their risqué side when Kate, Princess of Wales did the nearly unthinkable.
(I know your mind is boggling with possibilities here: Pay her own bills? Leave a copy of Roxanne Gay’s Bad Feminist on the royal train? Let Prince George take his practice knighting sword in for show and tell?)
Walking the red carpet at the BAFTA Awards in London she merrily and quite plainly patted husband Prince William’s arse.
not princess kate tapping william on the arse in front of the world pic.twitter.com/P6aP2rdUWW
— Molly Elizabeth (@molllyelizabeth) February 19, 2023
Just what the hell has happened to the woman formerly known as the Duchess of Dull?
Because that is not the only highly unusual thing that the 41-year-old mother-of-three has been up to, with her seemingly staging a very quiet PROTEST against the royal status quo. Stepping out in front of the cameras at the BAFTA event, her U-turn, after nearly 12 years of HRH-dom, was glaringly obvious.
We will get into that, but first, le grand bottom moment, or as it shall go down in the history books, the first time that a future Queen has merrily gotten so wonderfully handsy with a future King while they are both on duty.
Instances of Kate publicly displaying physical affection while on the palace clock are about as scarce as photos of Princess Anne in a bikini. (Now there’s an image you won’t be able to get out of your head.)
For years, it looked like the Waleses were practising social distancing long before it was en vogue, at least while they were on the official working clock.
Generally when they appeared in public, the way they physically interacted with one another looked like they were obediently following instructions set down by Queen Victoria during her prudish later years of sour widowhood.
When she put her hand on William’s thigh during the wedding of Princess Eugenie to former tequila ambassador Jack Brooksbank in 2018, it was so out of character that it made international headlines. Minor coups have gotten less media coverage.
So why has Kate gotten all saucy all of a sudden?
Because something is very clearly going with the woman who for years came across as a depressingly pliant cipher, devoid of anything so outrageous as an independent opinion or thought. Quelle horreur!
However, that woman, the human personification of a Betty Freiden nightmare, has been replaced by someone who is nothing short of bloody impressive.
In recent months a new, much more confident, agenda-setting woman has emerged. Adios Reiss chrysalis! Hello Power Princess!
Kate has been quietly rewriting the rules, without anyone quite twigging.
Take her wardrobe.
For years, Kate has relied on a very particular sort of high-low dressing, interspersing four-figure Emilia Wickstead and Alessandra Rich frocks with nicely affordable pieces from mid-priced British chain stores. To keep things interesting, every so often she rolled out a tried and true oldie.
Except then the clock ticked past midnight on January 1 this year and Kate threw that sartorial script out the window. So far this year, she has undertaken 14 engagements and on almost every occasion, she has predominantly worn recycled pieces.
At a Windsor food bank, at an advisory meeting held in a vast gilt-slathered Windsor Castle drawing room, and visiting a nursery school in the suburban nether regions of London, again and again, she rolled out clothing she has previously worn, and all with zero fanfare.
When Kate hit the BAFTAs on Monday with William, it was in a floaty, one-shouldered Alexander McQueen number and Zara earrings she already owned, rather than spending up big on something shiny and new.
(The exception was her new opera-length gloves which came from the late Queen’s glove maker Cornelia James.)
Not once has the fact that Kate has clearly made the decision to largely eschew new clothing been whispered in any journalists’ ears or picked up on by the press with any sort of focus.
The notable exception is the firecracker of a McQueen suit that Kate donned for her big Shaping Us launch in January but such a red-letter day in her career surely demanded an equally sensational look.
There are a couple of reasons why Kate might be quietly rolling out this stylish paradigm shift.
The first has to do with the notable and significant ramping up of her Early Years Foundation with the debut of Shaping Us, a UK-wide campaign to promote awareness about the importance of a child’s development years zero to five.
By denying the press, the commentariat and the chattering classes of social media the chance to focus on her latest ensemble, the Princess is keeping the focus on the actual meat and potatoes of what she is up to. Smart.
(This tallies with the fact that late last year, The Express reported that Kensington Palace had decided to end the practice of releasing details of her outfits to the media when she undertook royal engagements.)
Secondly, this strategy bolsters her green credentials right at the time that William is busy working on his climate crisis initiative, the Earthshot Prize.
It is very easy to point out the hypocrisy of someone banging on about the perils of a rapidly warming Earth when they have more homes than most people have children and enjoy jetting about the place, especially when the powder is just right in Courchevel.
For Kate, re-wearing pieces from her trove of clothing takes away one particular cudgel that can be used to batter the Waleses, with the added benefit that it makes her look like a charmingly supportive spouse willing to do her bit.
But I don’t think the ‘why’ here matters so much as what it tells us about where the Princess of Wales is right now: Setting her own agenda and doing things the way she wants.
Diana, Princess of Wales, might have pioneered the princess-at-work model, of a senior member of the royal family taking on much bigger social and national issues and running with them but Kate has gone that much further.
She is busy putting in place an organisation with no lesser goal than reshaping British childhood to reduce homelessness, addiction and mental illness in the future.
Diana could only have dreamt of such a fabulously bold and farsighted initiative.
No Windsor WAG, who has married into the House of Windsor and agreed to take on the dysfunctional, Spotted Dick-loving lot of ‘em, has ever undertaken work that is quite so progressive or impressively ambitious.
Today, Kate is wearing what she wants, doing what she wants, and seems to be setting her own rules, one Hobbs woollen jumper from 2017 and one generation-shaping initiative at a time. Most notably of all, she’s looking like she’s having a cracking good time doing it all.
If the Princess was the sort of woman who I thought might spend her days reading Oprah-approved self-helpery, I’d say she was stepping into her power but blessedly, she is not.
No matter, this is the moment where we need someone to cue up Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves and stat.
A few years ago, Kate getting even momentarily and sexily physical in such a public fashion would have been as unthinkable as Buckingham Palace going vegan. But that one moment on Monday, and her delight, is proof of just how much has changed and how thrilling a figure she is becoming.
Long live the age of the royal arse pat!
Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.
Originally published as Kate Middleton bum pat moment no one expected to see
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