Where’s Melania Trump? Elusive former US first lady draws attention by her absence

The former US first lady has been made even more mysterious by her absence from Donald Trump’s campaign trail and court appearances.

Melania Trump was said to have been upset at her husband’s victory in the 2018 election because she preferred to live quietly in New York. Picture: Getty Images/GC Images/The Times

After a mob of her husband’s supporters stormed the US Capitol two years ago, Melania Trump issued a statement to a stunned nation that flummoxed even some of her closest friends.

“I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks and false misleading accusations on me,” she said.

The first lady, who had cut a reserved and even mysterious figure in the White House, added that she condemned the violence at the Capitol.

As her husband appeared in a courtroom half a mile from the Capitol, accused of attempting to exploit the violence of that day to halt certification of the 2020 election results, Mrs Trump, 53, has become even more reserved.

She has not joined him on the campaign trail as he seeks re-election, nor has she accompanied him to court appearances in the three criminal cases that have been filed against him in New York, Florida and Washington. Instead, she has retreated to the company of a small circle of friends.

“She’s very important to the Trump family,” R. Couri Hay, a New York publicist and acquaintance of Mrs Trump, said. “The former president relies on her advice and her support but it’s all done very privately.” She spends much of her time with her parents and looking at colleges for the couple’s son, Barron, 17, he added.

Efforts to pierce the veil have occasionally prompted ripostes from her social media account, alleging that reports about her have made “assumptions about the former first lady’s stance on subjects that are personal, professional and political”.

“Melania is a very private person and, let’s be frank, she’s been burnt before by employees and ‘friends’ who have written books about her and betrayed her confidence,” Hay said.

One author said Mrs Trump was involved in her husband’s attempts to contest the 2020 election result. Picture: AFP/Getty Images

A former aide, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, who wrote an unflattering book about her, has been a target for Mrs Trump’s ire, causing her to retreat further from public life.

Wolkoff, for her part, now alleges that Mrs Trump was involved in and supported Trump’s efforts to overturn the election results. At the time, Mrs Trump was largely portrayed as being uninvolved in those efforts. She was said to have begun packing up her large wardrobe and shoe collection as soon as President Joe Biden’s victory was confirmed in November.

But on a recent episode of the podcast Lights On with Jessica Denson, Wolkoff insisted that the former first lady was “part of everything”.

“I think Melania Trump was subpoenaed several times in different investigations,” she said, adding “I do believe that … there absolutely is going to be evidence that shows that she understood what was going on.”

Wolkoff said Melania was “very much aligned with his thinking”.

Debates over the Trumps’ relationship and her attitude to his policies were stoked from the beginning of his presidency when she stayed in Manhattan – at a reported cost of $US125,000 a day in security measures – saying she wished to let Barron finish his school year in New York. Her taciturn presence in the White House increased speculation.

Finding a college for Barron Trump, 17, is a priority for his mother while his father faces criminal charges. Picture: Getty Images

Michael Wolff suggested in his book, Fire and Fury, that she had wept on the night her husband was elected president in 2016, seeing her pleasant life in New York eviscerated by his victory.

Mary Jordan, author of a book about Mrs Trump called The Art of Her Deal, said that early in her time at the White House Melania disappeared for about three weeks. It was, she told The Times in 2020, a break from previous first ladies, whose offices would keep close tabs on their movements. Melania was also said to be capable of maintaining extraordinary silences, even with dining companions at state dinners.

Jordan also reported that Mrs Trump began to seem much happier in public in the middle of 2018 after she renegotiated her prenuptial agreement with her husband, to give Barron a larger share in his estate.

One acquaintance and regular visitor to Mar-a-Lago said Mrs Trump would sometimes appear for dinner with her husband at the club, usually sitting with him at a table separated from other members by a velvet rope, though she was largely silent throughout.

They added that Mrs Trump loved spending time in New York, where she could arrive by car at Trump Tower and take a private lift to the family penthouse. From there, she could venture out quite anonymously.

“She puts her hair up, puts her hat on, puts on some glasses. She can escape quite easily.”

The Times