If you’re brilliant in bed, your partner really doesn’t need to moan about it

Scientists call for a re-evaluation of the scales used to assess the female orgasm after studying the responses of more than 600 women and finding noise doesn’t usefully correlate to pleasure.

Meg Ryan famously faked an orgasm in the 1980s romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally. Picture: Supplied

The Earth might not always move, but you can reliably expect “throbbing sensations” and “shuddering”. Sometimes, there is “trembling” and even – if it’s very good – “quivering”.

What you should not rely on though, when it comes to the female orgasm, is “moaning”. Scientists have called for a re-evaluation of the scales used to assess the subjective experience of the female orgasm after studying the responses of more than 600 women and finding that noise does not usefully correlate to pleasure.

Describing the female orgasm, “particularly in older women”, as “an under-investigated and poorly understood aspect of the female sexual response”, the researchers from the University of Ottawa asked women aged 18 to 82 to describe their experience. They did so with reference to two existing scales, the orgasm rating scale and the bodily sensations of orgasm scale.

Jane Fonda after an encounter with the ‘Excessive Machine’ in sci-fi romp Barbarella. Picture: Supplied

The female orgasm is a subject approached with trepidation not only by men but by science.

It is not just that it is apparently far more variable then the male orgasm, it is also considerably harder to document reliably.

Sex researchers have found that on half the occasions women reported orgasms in the laboratory, their equipment did not pick up the accompanying physiological signs. There is no such ambiguity for men.

The orgasm scales are an attempt to put the discipline on a firmer footing, looking at variables such as “pleasurable satisfaction, ecstasy, emotional intimacy, relaxation, building sensations, flooding sensations, flushing sensations, shooting sensations, throbbing sensations, and general spasms” and “goosebumps, clitoral pulsation, facial tingling and reddening of the skin”.

But are all the variables equally important? As the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally showed, a groan can be manufactured. Or, as the researchers write, “copulatory vocalisations” are likely to be “under women’s conscious control”.

Much of the existing research on the female orgasm focuses on women who are unable to experience it, a category that includes as many as one in eight. This has understandably been a focus of both sex researchers and society, as shown by the success of the recent film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, in which Emma Thompson plays a woman who has never climaxed.

Emma Thompson, with Daryl McCormack, can’t get no satisfaction in the recent film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. Picture: Supplied

In contrast, the scientists write, there are “few studies addressing more subjective psychological aspects of the experience” among women who have no difficulties. The latest study, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, is an attempt to redress this. It found that many of the variables in the existing scales correlated well with women’s experiences, suggesting that they are suitable for the job.

Some of those that they found could be dropped without affecting the scales’ usefulness might cause little concern. However, the finding that “moaning” was all but useless could cause considerably more worries. Among half the population, at least.

The Times