‘I am evil’, wrote Lucy Letby, British nurse accused of baby deaths

Lucy Letby allegedly attacked babies as young as a day old and Post-it Notes found in her house contained admissions of guilt and declarations of innocence, a UK court heard.

Lucy Letby with a young baby, and an example of one of the chilling Post-it Notes found in her house. Picture composite: The Times

A nurse accused of murdering seven babies and trying to kill 10 others wrote notes that read “I am evil I did this” and “I killed them on purpose”.

Lucy Letby, 32, from Hereford, allegedly committed the murders in the neonatal unit of the Countess of Chester hospital. She denies all the charges.

Letby is accused of attacking newborn children, including by insulin poisoning and injecting infants with air, causing them to stop breathing, during an alleged killing spree between June 2015 and June 2016.

On the fourth day of her trial, Nick Johnson KC, for the prosecution, said that notes Letby wrote describing herself as evil were among papers and sticky-back notes that also contained “many protestations of innocence”.

The words “Hope”, “Panic” and “Fear” were also written on a piece of paper, and: “I will never have children or marry. I’ll never know what it’s like to have a family.” Other scribbled lines included “I can’t breathe” and “Kill”.

Consultants suspected that the deaths and life-threatening collapses were “not medically explicable and were the result of the actions of Lucy Letby”, the court was told. She was put on clerical duties in 2016 until she was arrested in July 2018.

When Letby’s house in Chester was searched, items including Post-it Notes were seized. Picture: Peter Byrne/PA/The Times

When her house in Chester was searched the police found “interesting items” relating to many of the children who had died or suffered collapses, and notes that included the names of colleagues.

Johnson said: “She wrote, ‘I don’t deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them’, ‘I am a horrible evil person’ and in capital letters, ‘I am evil I did this’.”

He said there were other notes that included phrases such as “Why/how has this happened – what process has led to this current situation. What allegations have been made and by who?” and “Do they have written evidence to support their comments?”

Letby expressed frustration because she was not allowed back on the neonatal unit and wrote: “I haven’t done anything wrong and they have no evidence so why have I had to hide away?”

Most of the babies were born prematurely and some were only a day old when they were allegedly attacked.

Before concluding his opening, Johnson said that Letby murdered Child P, one of triplets, on June 24, 2016, the day after she is said to have killed his brother, Child O.

Child P suffered an “acute deterioration” before preparations were put in place to move him to another hospital. Shortly before the planned transfer, a doctor was said to be “optimistic” about his prospects but “all of a sudden Lucy Letby said to him something like ‘he’s not leaving here alive, is he?’ ” Johnson told the court.

“That remark surprised [the doctor] but Lucy Letby’s prediction came true.”

Letby is on trial accused of murdering seven children and attempting to murder a further 10. Sketch: Elizabeth Cook/PA/The Times

Ben Myers KC, for the defence, told the jury that anyone who approached the case “as some kind of done deal has got this very badly wrong”.

He said that the “polite” way of describing the care of one child on the unit was “suboptimal” and it would be “staggeringly unfair” to convict a person without a word of evidence.

Pointing to Letby, he said: “It is important to be careful that blame is not heaped on that woman when there may be others who have made mistakes or a system which has failed.”

About the sticky-back note, he said: “This is the anguished outpouring of a young woman in fear and despair when she realises the enormity of what’s being said about her, in the moment, to herself.”

He said at the time it was written she was dealing with employment problems, including a grievance procedure with the NHS trust, and described her as a dedicated nurse.

“She loved her job. She cared deeply about the babies and also cared for their families. She had a fulfilling life, had friends, a life outside work,” he said.

Myers said the prosecution case was driven by an “assumption that someone was doing deliberate harm” and “combined with the coincidence” of Letby’s presence.

The trial continues.

The Times