Couples who have regular rows live longer

The occasional blazing row may help married couples to live longer, provided both sides give as good as they get.

The risk of early death can double in marriages where one party bottles up feelings of anger or frustration while the other vents.

The occasional blazing row may help married couples to live longer, provided both sides give as good as they get, researchers have said.

The key, according to a report by psychologists from the University of Arizona, lies in both husband and wife dealing with marital conflict in the same way. The risk of early death can double in marriages where one party bottles up feelings of anger or frustration while the other vents, it says.

The researchers tracked 192 married couples over the course of 32 years.

The couples initially answered a series of questions to gauge how they dealt with marital conflict. One asked how they would respond if their spouse blew up at them for no reason, with possible responses including, “I’d get angry or mad and show it” or “I’d get annoyed but would keep it in.” A greater mismatch in response styles between a husband and wife was found to correlate with an increased risk of early mortality.

The report stated that the lowest risk of early death was among couples who both vented their feelings, with the husband having a 24 per cent risk of death over the 32-year period and the wife 18 per cent.

In couples where both suppressed their anger, the man had a 35 per cent risk of death and the woman 18 per cent. Where the man tended to let rip while his wife bottled her emotions, his risk of death was 51 per cent, and hers 36 per cent. When she was expressive, and he suppressive, his risk was 49 per cent, and hers 28 per cent.

Kyle Bourassa, who led the study, told The Mail on Sunday: “If spouses’ responses to conflict differ, this could translate into more daily conflict over time.

“One partner may want to have more heated disagreements, whereas another partner might not, leaving both partners dissatisfied. This could then result in more daily stress that would damage people’s health over the long term. Couples whose interpersonal styles better match might have less conflict in comparison, and maintain better health as a result.”

The research was published in the Psychosomatic Medicine journal.

— The Times