Primed PR35: Road Test

Smelling salts aren’t just for reviving dazed footballers - you can use them in place of your morning coffee, insists the good people at Primed. Who are they kidding?

Potent: Primed PR35

WHAT IS IT? In answer to your question, I invite you to stick your schnoz into this little jar and take a very tentative sniff.

WHOAAAH!! CRIKEY! IT’S LIKE BEING SMACKED IN THE FACE WITH AN OLD SOCK SOAKED IN DRAIN CLEANER. Yes. These are the strongest smelling salts in Primed’s line-up. They’re “not for the faint of heart,” the Canadian company warns.

SMELLING SALTS? AS IN, THE STUFF USED TO BRING ROUND DAZED FOOTY PLAYERS, OR FAINTING WOMEN IN VICTORIAN NOVELS? Yup. It’s a chemical concoction that gives off ammonia gas – which irritates your airways and stimulates what’s called an “inhalation reflex”.

I’M ACCUSTOMED TO AWFUL SMELLS – I HAVE TWO TEENAGE BOYS – BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF ALL THIS? Well, it really perks you up. Smelling salts are commonly used as a performance enhancer by ice hockey players, American Football stars and powerlifters. As for the rest of us mortals? “Some people prefer smelling salts instead of a morning cup of coffee,” Primed insists. Yeah, good luck with that in Australia, mate.

$19.95, primedsalts.com