Porridge, oats — the winter warmer with banana and maple syrup

Winter’s here — time for porridge. There are myriad ways to cook it. Here’s mine.

There’s really only one good thing to be said for the sudden and not entirely unexpected arrival of winter in the southern states: porridge. It gets cold outside, and something goes off in your head with the alarm, and it’s saying: “Your body needs warm gruel.”

It’s intriguing the way appetites change with the weather: why do I want a toasted cheese sandwich for lunch instead of a salad? Why does barbecued fish suddenly seem unthinkable and a casserole with mash or a bowl of pasta the only thing that can possibly do?

Winter represents mental and physiological salvation. It triggers an animal-like instinct to go to the kitchen, cook oats and indulge in a time-honoured ritual that solves just about every affliction I’m faced with and a few I can only look forward to. An urge rarely experienced when it’s warm.

Here are just some of the things, in no particular order, oat porridge is said to help with. It stops short of curing baldness and cancer, but honestly, if all this stuff hadn’t been proven you’d swear you were reading Belle Gibson’s website: improves sex life; good for hangovers; helps you quit smoking; fights infection; reduces diabetes risk; fights heart disease; wards off depression; helps concentration; boosts energy; lowers cholesterol; fights childhood obesity, constipation and osteoporosis; can help with dieting; good in pregnancy; reduces blood pressure; could contribute to longevity; and, yes, might even reduce cancer risk (oat porridge is rich in the antioxidant vitamin E, which protects the body from the damaging free radicals that can cause cancer).

What more could you want? To do this thing properly you’ll need groats — hulled, whole oats — and a small hand-cranked mill in which to roll them. This makes better-tasting, textured porridge with greater nutritional efficacy.

Think of hand-rolled oats the way you think about coffee beans: the best espresso is ground to order, right? Commercial rolled oats are fine, but rolled-to-order amplifies all those health and flavour/texture characteristics. It’s part of the ritual, and will force you to source quality, organic grain that will almost certainly be cheaper in the long run, even factoring in the cost of the mill. Health food stores are the best source for groats at reasonable prices; have a look at a site called skippygrainmills.com.au or search under “flocino” and you’ll find a hand mill for around $188.

While oaten porridge has Scottish roots and therefore an austere prescription (oats, salt, water and added milk only to serve), I take a more English approach with sweeteners, either maple syrup, banana or, in lean times, brown sugar. It can get as fancy as you like. Or odd. Hunt online and you’ll find recipes for oatmeal porridge carbonara (bacon, egg, parmesan). Mexican porridge (charred corn, jalapeños, cheese, coriander and lime). Even a Thai porridge using coconut cream, chillies, cashews, spring onion and soy sauce.

But this method works: roll oats, soak them overnight in water; next morning, add salt and bring slowly to a simmer, stirring gently with a spurtle, theevil or any wooden spoon to hand; when you reckon it’s ready, add a little milk, stir, cook a little longer and serve. If your receding hairline is arrested, let me know.