Lona Misa, South Yarra review: Meat free? This is the real deal

When it comes to meat free, Melbourne’s temple to veganism has a bet both ways.

Lona Misa, Melbourne. Peter Tarasuik/TWAM

Meat-free. In case you’ve been in Antarctica for the past 10 years and missed the memo, it’s big. And restaurants can approach this one of two ways: either by celebrating ingredients and produce that are not meat or fish – vegies, pulses, grains, etc – or by emulating the protein sources their customer base has eschewed. Missing chicken? Wait until you try ours made with soy protein. Dreaming about those prawns you used to scoff? Don’t worry, we have some made with konjac, a starchy root.

Lona Misa has a bet both ways. It’s the restaurant inside South Yarra’s Ovolo Hotel and it’s meat-free. More: all menu items are actually vegan, it says in very fine (almost unreadable) type. Still more: all the hotels under Ovolo’s core brand – five of them in Australia – have gone the vegetarian route with their in-house diners. It’s a bold move; it must be odd when Dave and Kath, in Melbourne for a few nights from Echuca to catch a match at the MCG, come down to breakfast to find no eggs, bacon or indeed butter for the toast.

Whatever, Lona Misa is a pleasant space with all sorts of wacky art; it abuts the hotel’s reception, which in turn backs on to the kitchen, and it’s odd to have dishes coming to table via the area where folks check in and out. As with many such operations, it has a consultant chef, in this case Shannon Martinez, who has made a career from vegan food. Her name appears at the very bottom of the menu, beneath a “food philosophy”. It says, simply, “X Shannon”. You’re supposed to know who she is.

Lona Misa, Melbourne. Peter Tarasuik/TWAM

Now, I visited with an intelligent, perceptive chap with no interest in the food scene whatsoever. And after we’d both looked at the menu a while, we were equally perplexed.

“I thought you said this was vegetarian,” he said, and indeed I had. So, shouldn’t words like “chicken” and “prawn”, “chorizo” and “seafood” appear as such, in inverted commas? If we were confused, I’ll go out on a limb to say we weren’t the only ones.

Or is it part of the Lona Misa conceit that you think you’re ordering meat, but aren’t? We seek clarification but, with disco/funk pumping in the background, can’t understand a word from behind the waiter’s mask. They really need to think about their written messaging.

For all that, the mostly Latino dishes are clever. Particularly if you want to eat pretend animal protein. The “prawn augachilie” (aguachile, they mean), with mock prawns made with the aforementioned vegetable starch, is a particularly convincing version of the classic Mexican dish, with lots of clean lime and coriander juices, avocado and an assertive green chilli. If only there were something other than commercial corn chips available for dunking.

Augachilie Konjac Prawns, cucumber and red onion dressed with spicy coriander and lime dressing. Peter Tarasuik/TWAM

Feel like chicken tonight? The “Peri Peri Chicken” made with soy protein is “from the Josper”, a Spanish oven that uses wood or charcoal as fuel. The “chicken” is a convincing facsimile, with a lovely charred glaze, served with chimichurri sauce and a burnt lemon cheek; given the state of commercial poultry welfare, it’s a good choice over factory chicken.

Similarly, the flavours of a mock Brazilian seafood stew – moqueca – are well resolved: tomato, lime, coconut. Delicious. It comes over rice with plantain crisps, but (and here’s the rub) I have no idea what I’m actually eating. What has gone into producing my “seafood”?

The “paella verde” attempts no such artifice, with a tomatillo soffritto base to the moist and fragrant rice, chewy charred garlic scapes, salsa verde and a proper crust. I reckon it’s a big seller.

Like most hotel restaurants relying on consultant talent, some of the finer detail of the experience is lost: I’m thinking cold plates and a certain robotic approach to service. But overall, the Lona Misa mission statement is a valid one, and deserves consideration. I just think the messaging needs refinement.

LONA MISA

234 Toorak Rd, South Yarra, Vic

[phone]; ovolohotels.com

Dinner daily

Starters $14, mid-size $25, mains $35, dessert $16

LIKE THIS? TRY… Smith & Daughters, Melbourne

SUMMARY: Like chicken tonight

RATING: ★★★