David Icke: a thinker for our times

Alternative views: England’s David Icke

Katie Hopkins, the notorious British bigot, was recently imported on a special visa to adorn a TV program called Big BrotherVIP – and was promptly caught both flaunting and taunting Covid regulations. This caused the Seven Network big bother and Hopkins became the show’s first eviction. Untroubled by the bad publicity (for her an oxymoron) and no sooner back in London, she co-starred in one of those small-scale echoes of the storming of the Capitol in DC – a dotty ditto to protests seen in Melbourne and Sydney. These are events supported, if not organised by, QAnonners and their ilk.

Self-promoter: Katie Hopkins

And their ilk includes Icke, prenom David. No sooner back in London, the malevolent Katie stood shoulder-to-shoulder with David Icke, one of that nation’s favourite conspiracy theorists. A former footballer who clearly got his head kicked once or twice too often, Icke has written more than 20 books and spoken in more than 25 countries, warning of the dangers of “shape-changing lizards”. Not to be confused with the magical salamander of Mormon mythology or the dragon of St George, David’s lizards rule the world.

Thirty years ago a psychic told Dave he was on this Earth for a purpose. Rising to the occasion he declared himself “Son of the Godhead” and predicted widespread devastation from earthquakes and tsunamis. When this prediction failed to meet the deadline he moved on to virulent anti-Semitism – and then to lizards.

Take notes as you’ll be asked questions afterwards. Two inter-dimensional races of reptilians full of “vibrational energy” (the Archons and the Anunnaki) have arrived and formed the Babylonian Brotherhood. Some have intermarried with humans to breed hybrids (with BB initials – though I make no allegations about Bronwyn Bishop or Brigitte Bardot).

Many world leaders are Babylonian Bros and are propelling us towards the New World Order (yes, the NWO is back again). In effect we are in the grip, nay the claws and jaws, of those shape-shifting lizards that keep us in a permanent state of fear so they can feed off our “negative energy”. Presumably Covid is part of the plot, a fraud perpetrated to make us as negative as possible. Clearly it’s working, particularly during lockdowns.

I’m writing this column to thank Mr Icke for his efforts, and to tell him that in Australia our leaders are not run-of-the-mill lizards but local breeds. We are ruled by powerful shape-changing goannas. The late Kerry “Goanna” Packer comes to mind. PM Morrison is a shape-changing bluetongue and Barnaby Joyce a shape-changing gecko. We know this because just last week the Deputy PM’s tail dropped off under the pressure of an angry presser. Other shape-changers include the utterly reptilian Mark Latham who publicly and politically shape-changed from Labor to One Nation. (Other shape-changers from Queensland are not lizards but cane toads – e.g. Clive and Pauline).

Though branded a Holocaust denier, Dave proclaims himself as anti-fascist as he is anti-lizard, believing in free speech. Which is why I want him brought to Australia to replace his mate Kate in Big Brother VIP. I’m sure Boris can organise some quick jabs and Qantas a quick flight. Unless of course Alan Joyce isn’t a leprechaun (as I’ve been calling him) but another lizard.

OMG. I’ve just had a terrible thought. What if the shape-shifters have infiltrated our Royal Family? What if Buck Palace is another lizard lair? Say it isn’t so, Queen Liz!