BeReal users report feeling much better about themselves — and hallelujah for that

Connection: BeReal shows a better way for social media

I’m calling it – BeReal is the best social media platform I’ve seen, as a parent. It gets a surprising tick of approval from the screenphobe here for all the young people among us who insist on cleaving to their socials. I never thought I’d be saying this about any form of social media, but this app feels strangely honest. Refreshingly authentic. And crucially, it’s not thieving endless amounts of a teen’s time, turning them into a dead-eyed, back-bowed bundle of insecurities as they interminably scroll to see who has more friends, likes and party invitations than them.

Here’s what BeReal doesn’t have: annoying filters. Sneaky camera lies. Smug influencers. Shouty videos. Algorithms that bombard you with things not asked for. The artifice of that carefully curated life is gone. It’s all replaced by a simple, comparatively humble snapshot of a close friend or relative’s life (taken in “real” time) that vanishes after 24 hours. You can’t see a picture history and there’s no creepy behaviour from strangers. There is a tight community of followers. What’s not to like?

How does BeReal work? It sends users a command at a random time once a day, to take a selfie and share it almost instantly with selected friends. You are also told to send a wider shot. You’ve got two minutes to post and you can’t see anyone else’s picture until you’ve sent your own. Everyone’s doing it at the same time. If you miss the two-minute window your post will be marked as late.

This is silly faces territory. Giggly fun. A lovely sense of community is created; a real sense of a person’s actual life – with all the surprising mundanity. It feels like a world removed from the careful dishonesty of Instagram; plus there’s no insidious pressure around building follower numbers. A lot of young adults don’t bother with the lie that’s Insta now – it’s been colonised by oldies and feels destructive and cruel compared to BeReal, which seems like the ascendancy of a younger generation as they sort themselves out and protect themselves on a platform more to their liking.

BeReal feels like it’s been developed by people who hate social media. Who want something fresh. A sharing app that doesn’t deplete the user’s time – and equilibrium. It’s as if the two French developers have looked at all the problems associated social media, and learnt. It’s taken a while to distil what works into something that feels un-cynical and on the users’ side, unlike Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, which feel far too manipulative for our own good. BeReal is about meaningful connection, without the sting of words and the competitive photography. You’re not going to become famous from it, or grow your brand. No pressure – and what a relief.

It feels… sweet. Users report feeling much better about themselves and hallelujah for that. It restores privacy. Positivity. They can view their BeReal history through a “Memories” section – a visual diary, in all its ordinariness. But that’s the beauty of a written diary too, because who would believe one that has all the highlights of a life recorded and nothing else, which is basically what Instagram is.

A few months ago BeReal was number one in the App Store and of course I now want to be on it, because the three young adults in my life live in three different cities and are communicating, gleefully, by showing each other matey snapshots of their everyday lives. So as their mother, I want a glimpse. They’re the only people on the platform I’m interested in. I put out the request on the family chat. Silence. One reluctantly said she’d allow me if the others said yes. And again… silence. Sigh. These Gen Z/Gen Alpha types refuse to allow me in, and so I settle for mere crumbs of visual information, as parents must; like we’re trying to grasp on to kite tails as they soar ever higher and further into the sky.