Go back to the 1980s at the Dallas ranch
From torrid affairs in barns to murder in the swimming pool, TV series Dallas offered 13 years of greed, lust and revenge. Now tourists can get a taste of it for themselves.
Sound the jubilant theme tune of trumpets, dust off those shoulder pads and backcomb your hair. The 1980s global TV phenomenon Dallas is back in the public consciousness.
Initially commissioned as a non-returnable five-part miniseries, by the end of its weekly Sunday-night run in 1978, the soap opera had crashed into the top 10 most-watched television shows in the US. Following this unprecedented success, the studio swiftly commissioned further episodes.
For 13 years, Dallas’s salacious tales of family, greed, lust and revenge regularly topped ratings worldwide, peaking with the “Who Shot JR?” cliffhanger in 1980.
The show was rebooted in 2012, fizzling out after three series, following the death of Larry Hagman, who played the infamous J.R. Ewing, the character everyone loved to hate. Centre stage throughout the 14 series is the pristine white mansion known as Southfork Ranch, with its signature yellow and white striped awning, home to several generations of the Ewing family.
The property’s sprawling acreage provided the backdrop to many of the show’s pivotal scenes, from torrid affairs in barns to murder in the swimming pool. Evidently, all in a day’s work for the average conniving Texan billionaire oil baron.
Since 1981, ardent fans have made the pilgrimage to Southfork from across the globe. But it wasn’t until recently that it’s been possible to spend a night in the house unchaperoned. The “Live and Dream Like a Ewing” experience offers up to six guests the opportunity to be fully immersed in life at Southfork Ranch, with exclusive use of the entire house and pool, private tour of the property, champagne reception, dinner, breakfast, take-home souvenirs and optional trail ride. Keen to mingle with visitors from far and wide, I join the public tour along with a couple from France who were brought up watching the show.
Beginning in the museum, we are collectively surprised to see an early-career Brad Pitt featured in the extensive family tree. Pitt played Randy, boyfriend of Charlotte, daughter of Jenna, Bobby Ewing’s first love, played by Priscilla Presley (do keep up). There is memorabilia aplenty, including the cast’s handprints, Lucy’s wedding dress and the gun used to shoot JR. It’s a fun retrospective, duly setting the scene for the ensuing nostalgia.
During the tram tour around the property, we learn that the biggest demographic of overseas visitors comes from Romania. Dallas was initially broadcast behind the Iron Curtain at the behest of Romanian president Nicolae Ceausescu to illustrate the evils of capitalism.
Unfortunately for the dictator, the plan backfired and Romanians aspired to be more like JR, leading to the show being credited with assisting the demise of communism.
The tour takes in various key sights such as the Oil Barons Ballroom; “showdeo” (a mini rodeo erected for filming purposes); a variety of livestock happily living out their retirement at the ranch; and, rather poignantly, the graves of JR and his parents, Miss Ellie and Jock. But on an overnight stay, areas cordoned off during tours are no longer prohibited. With the tour concluded and the requisite photos snapped, the metaphorical keys to the house are handed over to me.
I grab the life-sized 2D cut-out of JR from the bar area, making him my companion for the evening. His jaunty red neckerchief is both an atypical local accessory and, I discover, a useful cover-up disguising his broken neck. My place at the dinner table is set in the same spot as Hagman’s on the day he died. I feel rather emotional as I toast my replica JR and the last supper he sadly missed. Food is prepared by a chef and served by Baboo, a lovely man who worked for the hotel nearby where the cast would also stay from time to time.
Embodying the warm hug of southern hospitality, Miss Ellie’s excellent peach cobbler and cinnamon ice cream signals the end of dinner. I retire to the lounge to further reminisce with a selection of Dallas DVDs.
Sitting in the chairs in which the brothers Ewing talked business over a large bourbon, I press play on a pre-loaded disc. I wonder whether the episode screened is random or specifically selected.
The years have been unexpectedly kind to a program that arguably embodied some of the worst elements of the 1980s, from excess and greed to crimes of fashion. But it was the prescient content that most surprised; the plot centred on JR exposing nemesis Cliff Barnes’s role in the death of his girlfriend from abortion complications.
With the recent overturning of Roe v Wade, highly pertinent social commentary from a 45-year-old soap opera is not what I had anticipated.
Swerving a midnight swim owing to the large number of critters floating about, I head to the master bedroom. With portraits of Sue Ellen and JR looming large, I stand 2D JR by the door, where he valiantly keeps guard all night. I wake to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and open the balcony doors to survey the Ewing empire in all its glory.
Looking towards the pool, I ruminate on the plausibility of Kristin smashing through the extremely solid railings and falling to her death from the not particularly high first floor (episode one, series five).
Following a fine breakfast at the famous glass poolside table where Miss Ellie would attempt to assuage family squabbles, it’s time for the horse trail, the final stage of the experience.
My group comprises several Finnish superfans and a mother with her two daughters from Chicago, who watched the show together during the pandemic.
Cantering around the property, flashes of storylines come to mind as we pass familiar areas. It’s a fitting end to a brilliant experience for dedicated fans, capturing an era and its impact on the television landscape perfectly.
Shelley Rubenstein was a guest of Southfork Ranch.
In the know
Southfork Ranch’s Live and Dream Like a Ewing package from $US1978 ($3120) for two, plus $US450 for each additional guest up to a total of six; add 26 per cent service charge and sales tax. Public tours run hourly from 10.15am to 3.15pm; adults $US20; $US12 for children.
TELEGRAPH MEDIA GROUP
