Tuesday, your (in)complete guide

Some stuff and nonsense you may need to know as you log on for the worst day of the week

Some stuff and nonsense you may need to know as you log on for the worst day of the week.

Mike Cannon-Brookes, the tech billionaire who co-founded Atlassian, showed some real BDE on Monday night. 

His 'Big Demerger Energy' shook the business world when he dramatically intervened in a bid to foil AGL Energy’s plans to break up the company and siphon off its coal-fired power stations. 

👋🏻 @Grok_Ventures has acquired more than an 11% interest in @AGL - becoming the largest shareholder.

We will be voting against the upcoming, flawed demerger.

Why?

For more information, read below 👇🏻 and go to https://t.co/tZHXCQpmP9 #keepittogether

1/9

— Mike Cannon-Brookes 👨🏼‍💻🧢🇦🇺 (@mcannonbrookes) May 2, 2022

Think of him as the Harry Styles of clean energy. But now he's acting like Jason Sudekis and the AGL board is being ambushed like they're Olivia Wilde at CinemaCon 2022. 

Instead of serving them divorce papers, Cannon-Brooks brought more shares after they rejected a previous take over bid. 

The purchase of an 11.28% stake now makes him the biggest shareholder in what is Australia’s biggest emitter of carbon. 

 

“We have purchased this substantial interest in the company because we fundamentally believe there can be a better future for AGL,” Mr Cannon-Brookes said. 

Kath & Kim not as lucky as The Castle

Meanwhile deep in suburbia, construction teams have moved into an unassuming cul-de-sac.

Destroying houses? In this economy?

That's what's happening to the famous Kath & Kim house on the outskirts of Melbourne.

The fabled duplex which gave us seminal scenes such as this:

Is being demolished.

While the federal government and opposition duke it out over which party has the best housing policy, the 4-bedroom house - located in the fictional suburb of Fountain Lakes on the show, but which actually sits at 4 Lagoon Place, Patterson Lakes - will soon be reduced to rubble, resembling Kim and Brett's marriage.

A toast of Tia Maria for the real life owners though, it was last sold in November 2016 for crisp $1.48million.

It pays to be a Victorian 

They'll have more dough than the Victorian government if predictions about Tuesday's state budget are correct.

Building, not cuts, is how the Andrews government plans to get things back on track from a forecast $17.6billion deficit.

Every household is set to receive a $250 payment as an incentive to compare energy deals that could shave about $300 off the electricity bills for 75% of households.

Treasurer Tim Pallas will hand down the accounts, against a backdrop of potential interest rate rises and a federal election campaign absolutely teeing off about the soaring cost of living pain Australians are facing.

What a trifecta of no thank you.

Let's get high (altitude)

Money is definitely a concern for Qantas. The Flying Kangaroo is back and set to launch new direct, super long haul flights from Sydney to London and New York. 

Not for the restless, but perfect if you need to finally get around to watching the entire back catalogues of The West Wing and The Sopranos and still have enough time to read War & Peace, as you'll be in the air for 20-hours.

 

The flights will start in 2025 and feature more leg room for economy class and a “wellness zone” to allow passengers to stretch and exercise on board. Early reviews of the new routes suggest there is a fridge full of complementary Tim Tams on board too. 

 

This flights mean you’ll skip layovers, all made possible thanks to new A350 planes that have less seats on board to maximise comfort and enjoyment - the Bennifer 2.0 of aviation - sophisticated and able to go the distance. 

This pushes flexible work to 'career yoga'

Travel could be a great way to spend some of our newfound spare time. 

New research reveals work life balance and flexibility is more important to most young people in 2022 than pay or the possibility of career progression, as workplace experts say quality of life is increasingly important to workers.

New Australian Bureau of Statistics data shows that since 2012, the number of Australians aged between 20-24 years-old who were unemployed but looking for part time work only, increased by almost 30% while those who were unemployed looking for full time gigs decreased by 13%.

While politicians - well not Anthony Albanese as he forgot - continue to talk up Australia's historically low 4% unemployment rate, our underemployment is sitting at about 6.3%.

Perhaps Kim was onto something...

Unfair bump, do not play on

Some people who do want to work are female umpires. Specifically those in the AFL. However claims of sexual assault, racial abuse and unsolicited nude pictures have emerged in a gross 62-page report into what it's like to be a female official in professional sport in Australia.

The Herald Sun revealed female umpires have been touched and grabbed during matches, overheard lewd discussions at training about their boobs and were sent unsolicited explicit pics.

Other complaints include female umpires being forced to share change rooms with naked goal umpires described as “grandpas” and being racially vilified in the workplace.

The extensive research was conducted in 2020-21 to figure out why there is an extreme shortage of female umpires in the AFL.

It was conducted by The University of Sydney, funded by the AFL and was published last August.

The AFL did not want the findings made public.

The matriarch of women in AFL, former Western Bulldogs vice president Susan Alberti, has had it up to pussy's bow and has retaliated by cutting on her sponsorship of female umpires because she was “so disgusted” at how they were being treated.

Alberti, 74, wrote out cheques totalling close to $100,000, but pulled the plug after several females umpiring in the country contacted her to discuss their “appalling circumstances”.

Polly want a Valium

While ketamine is being considered as a possible emergency suicide prevention mechanism in humans, there's good news for stressed out parrots.

Vetafarm, the the JSHealth of the animal world, has launched Parrot B-Calm. "The world's first complete parrot calming pellet diet, and put a spotlight on pet bird stress, anxiety and wellbeing," a spokesperson, with a straight face, told The Oz.

Vetafarm’s resident parrot trainer Carmen McGill has been working with birds for more than 30-years and rescue parrot Miranda was the worst rehabilitation case she had ever seen. The majestic Macaw had been severely traumatised by a bigger and stronger male bird, did not trust anyone and could not fly.

"Miranda nearly died from blood loss due to self-mutilation, repeatedly ripping out her tail feathers and screaming. Carmen spent three years rehabilitating Miranda, which took a lot of patience, love, tears and determination to win the parrot’s trust," the spokesperson continued.

Halfway through Miranda’s rehabilitation, McGill began trialling Parrot B-Calm.

"Within a week I could clearly see a difference," McGill said. “Parrot B-Calm took the edge off - it wasn’t making her sleepy, just more relaxed."

If only Larry David suggested meds instead of a heartless message to Richard Lewis on Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

If only the meds were around for Richard Lewis' bird.

Crouching tiger, hidden escape

Up to half China’s expats have left the country since the start of the pandemic.

Experts like Jorg Wuttke, the Beijing-based president of the EU Chamber of Commerce in China, thinks that population will halve again by the end of the Chinese school year – which is only two months away.

That will leave about a quarter of the pre-pandemic expat population. Many of the rest are weighing their options.

The Covid-zero policy is doing people's heads in as Shanghai's draconian lock down measures continue, with more areas around he country set to be forced into similar hard-core living conditions as Chinese president Xi Jinping does his darnedest to eradicate the virus.

Hundreds of people were packed in to giant Covid quarantine sheds. Where the port-a-loos barely work and there are no showers and doctors are rarely seen.

Meanwhile people in hazmat suits - called Big Whites - roam around the centres and concrete outdoor areas, spraying bleach into the air.

Annastacia Palaszczuk has a boyfriend

And learning about the Queensland premier's love life is less women's magazine announcement and more "WTF".

News Palaszczuk is loved up is front page news this Tuesday as her partner, a surgeon called Reza Adib, managed to score an invite to a "high-level" Brisbane Olympics meeting and actual athletes and other officials, including the federal sports minister, didn't.

Mickey Mouse will soon need a side hustle

Disneyland might be the happiest place on earth but it could soon also be povo.

Walt Disney and Florida governor Ron DeSantis are at war over a the company's criticism of the "Don't Say Gay" bill he signed into law last month which bans the teaching of gender identity and sexual orientation. 

Initially, Disney remained silent on the bill. When it passed, however, the company vowed to push for its repeal and to fight similar bills in other states following vocal objection to the law from many of its employees.

DeSantis, a bloke who is being touted as potential Republican president, escalated his battle with the Walt Disney Co. asking state lawmakers to consider ending the special tax district that has allowed the company to govern the land on which its theme parks sit.

A real can of worms that'll open their books. This war has since spooked CEOs all over the US fearing that that going woke will also send them broke.

Kate Moss spotto 

She's fashion's Dodo Bird, rarely seen or heard from so when make up artist to the stars Charlotte Tilbury posted this intimate reel of Kate Moss (Lila Grace's mum) to the Gram, it soon went viral.

This must be what it was like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel, if the Sistine Chapel was an incredibly good looking 48-year-old.