The week(ended): In case you missed this

All the news that's fit to mint.

All the news that's fit to mint.

Woah what a week. Rihanna is engaged to her baby daddy (we think), we had a One Nation x South Park collab, there are trials and tribulations for Guy Sebastian, news from The Solomons and the Ukraine and ... a mullet. 

But first, because we must, we go to the federal election campaign and it's another press conference, another gaffe from opposition leader Anthony Albanese.

This time, he was asked to outline the six points of Labor’s plan to fix the National Disability Insurance Scheme. He couldn’t. The plan was released last month to “fix the NDIS and return it to its original vision”. 

FYI, for those playing at home, the six point plan is:

1. Fix regional access 
2. Stop cuts to plans
3. Boost efficiency
4. Reduce wasteful administrative expenses
5. Put more people living with a disability on the board of the National Disability Insurance Agency  - the organisation that oversees the scheme.
6. Employ more people for the NDIA

The stuff up spawned another 3000-odd hot takes, but Australian of the Year Dylan Alcott summed it up best...

 

Pretty pretty please - can all sides of parliament take the time to understand the NDIS and it’s importance. People’s lives depend on it

— Dylan Alcott (@DylanAlcott) May 5, 2022

 

Pills and potions

Both the government and Labor announced policies that'll make medicines cheaper for things like blood pressure, depression, diabetes, pain relief and high cholesterol.

The Libs, if re-elected, will make some drugs listed on the PBS $10 cheaper. The policy would see the maximum price of PBS medicine reduced from $42.50 to $32.50. 

Labor matched it, then slashed more making them $12.50 cheaper.

At the official campaign launch Albanese Albanese said the maximum price for medicines for millions of Australians would be $30.

State Daddy strikes again 

Mark McGowan has forced Albo's hand on election policies

The whistleblower whose footage of horrific scenes on board a live export ship in 2018 was slipped $148,000 for his efforts. At the time the vision led to the federal government shutting down the trade over the summer months. 

Activist group Animals Australia has now admitted it covered up the payments to the bloke who captured and released the footage, which aired on 60 Minutes.

A couple of Labor MPs, including WA-based opposition trade spokesperson Madeleine King, are pledging to end the live sheep trade if they win the election. 

WA’s Labor premier Mark McGowan slapped down that suggestion late Thursday saying an immediate closure would kill off the industry worth about $250m - mainly to his state.

McGowan said the overhaul of the industry by his government back then, which cut the season from 12-months to 9-months so the sheep aren’t shipped across the equator during the northern summer, were “effective and appropriate”. Live exporters also volunteered to reduce stocking densities aboard live export ships by 17.5% in hotter months.

Albanese took notes and changed the federal position 24-hours later.

"Our policy has changed," Albanese said on Friday. 

Yoof vote

UNICEF are calling for young people to get more heavily involved to help form official policies. 

The advocacy group wants to see more consultation between the next government elected and young Australians.

The push comes as more than 85% of under-24s have enrolled to vote for the first time on May 21.

Please explain

Pauline Hanson's South Park-like cartoons have been cancelled.

The likeness is uncanny!

The One Nation leader had the satirical cartoon series created and published episodes on Facebook and TikTok. 

On Friday the Australian Electoral Commission ordered Hanson to remove all her videos from social media for failing to adhere to strict authorisation rules that apply to electoral content.

She copped a legal letter from the AEC informing her that the videos featuring caricatures of politicians like Albanese and Barnaby Joyce, “do not contain compliant authorisations”.

TEDx for #auspol

A raft of debates and talk fests took place this week.

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg faced off against the Monique Ryan, the independent candidate in his Victorian seat of Kooyong, in a people's forum for Sky News. Climate policy and whether they support temporary protection visas were some of the questions put to the pair.

The National Press Club hosted defence minister Peter Dutton and his shadow counterpart Brendan O'Connor. Dutton went hard on China and how a coalition government will further protect Australia's sovereignty. O'Connor said Scott Morrison should have stepped in to stop China inking a new security pact with the Solomon Islands.

The Climate 200 candidates in NSW appeared at an "In Conversation" type event for the Spark Club. The independents – Allegra Spender, Kylea Tink and Georgia Steele - confirmed they'll act as a team with Warringah MP Zali Steggall and press for much tougher carbon emission cuts as an early priority if elected.

Morrison and Albanese will face off in the second leader's debate on Sunday night at 8.45pm on Nine.

Nightmare at day care

A 3-year-old left on a bus in Central Queensland bus for up to six hours on a 28 degree day on Wednesday is still recovering.

The little one remains in intensive care and in a stable condition at the Queensland Children's Hospital after she was revived via CPR on the floor of Le Smileys childcare centre in Gracemere, south of Rockhampton. 

Grooming charges

It's been revealed this week that a 28-year-old female primary school teacher in SA was arrested by police in Port Augusta on December 23, 2021 and charged with "communicating to make a child amenable to sexual activity".

It’s understood the alleged offence occurred in November last year and the South Australian teacher will remain on bail until her next court date in July where she will face charges pertaining to grooming a child for sex. 

You snooze you lose, swoopy boys

Magpies are known for intense swooping and their beautiful morning calls but new research has confirmed that just like us less savage mortals, if they don’t get a good night’s sleep they will cancel their morning plans and sleep in.

Researchers from La Trobe University found that after a poor night’s sleep, magpies will sing later than usual and sing a much simpler song, as well as performing poorer on cognitive tests.

Idol-watering cash 

Guy Sebastian was paid more than $400,000 to support Taylor Swift during her 2013 tour of Australia and raked in more than $50,000 to perform at a wedding in Jakarta. That's what we learned this week as his former manager Titus Day faced court charged with embezzling more than $900,000 from him and others.

Guy Sebastian leaves court on Wednesday.

Is Rihanna engaged?

Soon to be parents A$AP Rocky and Rihanna got engaged and/married in a new video clip for the rapper's song, Dat My Bitch. She said yes. 

Only Rihanna could make a proposal that involved this many teeth seem chic.

The camera zooms in on Rocky's teeth, which bear gold grills that spell out, "Marry me?" In response, Rihanna answers with her own gold, bedazzled grill, which reads, "I do."

They are, at the time of publication, not believed to be officially betrothed.

Gravy train

Prayers to Baby Jesus have paid off and Christmas has come early as a How To Make Gravy movie is in the works.

 

The movie of our Christmas Eve Eve hymn is coming soon

Paul Kelly’s Yule anthem has been ripe for the Hollywood treatment and it's coming soon.

 

We can assume it’ll stick pretty close to the original script - tracking the life, times and tribulations of  an incarcerated criminal and jus enthusiast named Joe.

Been there

It turns out despite losing 7kg in three weeks, Kim Kardashian didn't actually fit into Marilyn's dress.

As another famous Kim (of Kath & Kim) would say: "That's a toit squoize."

Monroe's famous $5 million gown couldn't be altered so it was left open at the back and covered with a fur coat as Kim walked up the famous Met steps.

Samantha Jones is dead

Kim Cattrall has opened up on the fiasco surrounding her involvement - or lack thereof - in the Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That.

The 65-year-old, who played Samantha in the original series, told Variety she found a lot of power in saying no in her later years and dissing the reboot was one of the most profound and liberating experiences of her life.

FKA Twigs v Shai LeBouf is a go

A date has finally been set for FKA Twigs’ trial against her ex-boyfriend Shia LaBeouf nearly a year after she sued him over their allegedly abusive relationship.

The trial will begin in LA on April 17, 2023, a court official confirmed to Rolling Stone this week.

“The gaslighting has gone on long enough here and it’s time to hold Shia LaBeouf accountable,” Twigs’ lawyer, Bryan Freedman, told the website. “My client wants a trial date.”

Boris Johnson addressed the Ukraine parliament 

And told Zelensky and his colleagues to keep up the great work.

Boris Johnson hails Ukrainian defence against Russia its "finest hour".

Offal, for spring, groundbreaking

Meanwhile as inflation and cost of living spikes in the UK, A Tory MP has suggested Britons should buy "home brand" groceries and to eat offal to make ends met.

Speaking to Sky News UK, Environment minister George Eustice said opting for value brands would help people manage their household budget.

In recent months, UK inflation has risen to 7% - the highest in 30 years.

The Bank of England has warned inflation could rise further, potentially hitting double figures in October.

The White House has a new CJ

With Jen Psaki departing her post as Biden's spokesperson, Karine Jean-Pierre will replace her at the White House podium.

Jean-Pierre is the first black and "openly LGBTQ" person to hold the role.

Karine Jean-Pierre.

Leaky Roe v Wade

The new spokesperson is set to be busy considering what a debacle the Roe v Wade Supreme court leak was this week.

Now it seems every state in the US is planning its own abortion legislation before the federal legislation has been even been overtuned.

Republicans in Louisiana are reportedly toying with the idea of authoring a bill which would make abortion immediately following the moment of fertilisation a crime where the mother could be charged with homicide.

Sogavare is on a tear

The Solomon Islands prime minister Manasseh Sogavare has - without naming names - blasted the likes of Australia and other countries for treated his country and the Pacific with paternalism.

Addressing parliament this week he tapped a not so subtle swipe at Home Affairs minister Karen Andrews for referring to the Solomons as being in our "back yard".

The continual aggression comes after China and Solomons minted a new security pact, without telling Australia the plan first. 

Australia has, for 14-years now, been committed to stabilising the region so the idea of China potentially moving in and maybe setting up a military base there is...concerning. Especially as Aussie tax payers fund a $2.5bn Regional Assistance to Solomon Islands mission which has helped 500,000 people.

Also, before Sogavare got cosy with China, last November we sent troops to Honiara when his government was under threat from roiting mobs.

Australia also sent help during the country's Covid crisis.

The new Mick Fanning 

Jack Robinson hanging 10 in Margs

Jack Robinson is the new kid on the world surfing league block but this grommet, now 24, has been shredding the swell in Margaret River, where he won the semi-final on Friday, since he was a toddler.

"He rode his first wave at the age of two. Could surf before he could swim. His name first bobbed up on the global scene when he was filmed riding huge WA swells as a 12-year-old," The Australian's Will Swanton reported.

Rest Coast

Living in a Covid free paradise for a few years has not done the AFL club, the West Coast Eagles any favours. 

 

Not since the heady days of 2006 when “cultural problems” arose - including reports a player died for a few seconds during a particularly rambunctious post season trip to Vegas - has the usually high performing side been in the headlines for the wrong reasons. 

 

Last weekend the Perth-based AFL team got belted by more than 100-points and now the coach plus 21-players have been benched due to the virus and other injuries. 

 

In the AFL 18 players make up a side, meaning the Eagles have lost more than an entire team this week.

 

Hair to the throne

 

Western Bulldogs star, social media deity and emerging style icon of the Australian sporting arena, Bailey Smith has trimmed his famous mullet.

The most beloved mullet in Australia.

Swanky new cut!

Hairdresser Joey Scandizzo, who has cut Vogue editor Anna Wintour’s famous bob, trimmed Smith's locks this week before the update was posted to Instagram to rapturous virtual applause.

“He is the perfect footy player so needed the perfect cut. He has a lot of insight into how it should look, we just did the grooming” Scandizzo said.

Smith's mullet is credited for the full throttle trend of schoolboy mullets sweeping the AFL right now.