Raise your green juices, Gwyneth Paltrow is 50

The queen of girls gone mild turns half a century.

The queen of girls gone mild turns half a century.

Clocking up half a century, Gwyneth Paltrow has posed nude for Vogue.

Why? Well, look at her, and also because she feels "calm".

A sensation which escaped her previous decades.

"I remember turning 30 and feeling like there was so much pressure to be married and have a baby. I was not in a serious relationship when I turned 30, and I remember just thinking, I’m disappointing my parents. I haven’t married my stockbroker or a lawyer, and I’m this weird artist. When you’re in your 20s, you’re really a kid, and I think there’s this expectation that when you’re 30, you are going to really start to have a handle on your life. And then when I turned 40, I really freaked out," Paltrow said as she clocked up 50 trips around the sun on Tuesday.

The wellness guru has not always been thus.

Paltrow – a name synonymous with green juice, yoni eggs and eight hours of sleep – is unrecognisable to the person she was in her younger days.

A few weeks ago, on the eve of her 50th birthday, the founder of wellness brand Goop said 50 is her "dream age".

“I actually feel great turning 50. I feel lucky that I have my health (touch wood) and strength in my body. I feel like many of the decisions I made in my late 20s, my 30s and my 40s are paying dividends now,” Paltrow said.

“I didn’t think at all about ageing in my 20s. Really. I was in my late 30s before I paid that much attention to it, and slowly it was like, are those wrinkles? Is that sun damage?”

Paltrow quit smoking at 24, took up a six-day a week yoga practice that helped her discover how routines were good for her, which then led her to an “organic” diet.

She took up dry brushing, oregano oil tonics and released a cook book that featured a recipe for hot water and lemon and now sells candles that smell like her vagina for more than $200 each.

Her renaissance happened before Beyonce sang about it, and years before Miranda Kerr became the pin up for clean living.

Paltrow was a huge star in the 1990s and 2000s.

Starring in cult hits like The Royal Tenenbaums, Sliding Doors, Great Expectations and The Talented Mr Ripley. 

She also won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love in 1998 and went viral before the internet was even a thing. 

She can also sing.

@gleek.fans

I need move, gwyneth is soo good!! ❤️

♬ original sound - gleek.fans

Very well.

And continues to be canonised in fashion history.

Following the death of her father, Bruce, Paltrow recalibrated and reassessed. She ditched the toxic things from her life - mainly blokes and cigs. She dated Ben Affleck and was engaged to Brad Pitt.

The latter are still "in love", and reunited earlier this year in a bid to promote his new skincare line on an episode of the Goop podcast.

They were engaged in the late 1990s, when Paltrow was in her (very) early 20s where they spoke about having, 12 kids as they gushed about each other publicly. They never made it down the aisle. 

He went on to marry Jennifer Aniston in 2000 and then Angelina Jolie for two years in 2014 (which is yet to end well).

Paltrow ended up marrying Coldplay's Chris Martin in 2003. They had two kids and "consciously uncoupled" in 2014.

She married Glee writer Brad Falchuk in 2018. 

However, through it all, Paltrow and Pitt have remained tight.

Get a load of this heart wrenching, wholesome transcript from their fireside chat:

Pitt: Oh man, everything works out, doesn’t it?

Paltrow: Yes, it does. I finally found the Brad I was supposed to marry. It just took me 20 years.

Pitt: And it’s lovely to have you as a friend now.

Paltrow: It is.

Pitt: And I do love you.

Paltrow: I love you so much.

The rest is woo-woo history. She is now worth more than $200 million. The majority of that made after she stubbed about the Marlboros and saw the salt lamp light.

Happy birthday Her Royal Goopness. Long may she rain in vichy showers.