Princess Mary is coming home, Fyre Festival guy is planning a new bin fire
All the news that's fit to mint.
All the news that's fit to mint.
What's happening in (The) Oz:
🇦🇺 After only one day, the Nats aren't singing from the same song sheet about The Voice
🙅🏻 The Fyre Festival guy is out of jail, already planning his next 'event'
😬 Morrison's mate 'clarifies' they are still cool after complaining about him...publicly
🎅🏻 Princess Mary is having a hot Christmas
🛬 Unless you eat chaos for breakfast, don't book any flights on December 9
💸 David Jones is a basket case
👾 Federal politician Andrew Wilkie wants to outlaw video games
🎤 No, not Jimmy Barnes
🍻 Love Island favourite charged and fined for being a reality TV star cliche
Hello and welcome to the middle of the week,
And at this time of year, mid week feels about as discombobulating as this campaign filmed to encourage kids to choose rollerskating over drugs.
Well done to Brad for doing some incredible (potentially fake) work.
Someone who is doing legit and lovely work however is the Speaker of the House Milton Dick, who hosted morning smoko for the amazing cleanings staff at Parliament House on Tuesday.
It was an absolute pleasure to have the Parliament House cleaners in the office today for a morning tea. pic.twitter.com/BCFMLTdqti
— Milton Dick (@MiltonDickMP) November 29, 2022
Speaking of confusing messages, let's catch up with where The Voice debate is at shall we?
As reported on Tuesday, The Nationals have decided they will play for Team No when it comes time for us to vote in a referendum on whether or not there should be an Indigenous voice to parliament.
Cape York leader Noel Pearson - who is a co-architect of the Uluru Statement from the Heart – said the Nationals’ newly declared opposition to the Voice was at odds with the party’s respectful engagement on the concept in the past. It now puts them at odds with their state counterparts, like the WA Nats, who are firmly in the Yes camp (and have been since 2019).
Pearson took aim at Senator Jacinta Price - who has been vocal in her opposition of the Voice and vote. He said she is being used by right-wing people who had been searching for an Indigenous person to articulate their views since before she entered parliament this year.
“She is caught in a vortex that reminds me of Pauline Hanson 26 years ago … it’s a celebrity vortex, it’s very compelling, it gets her out in front of people and it gets a lot of cheers but it’s also a redneck celebrity vortex and, ultimately, it’s a tragic redneck celebrity vortex that she’s caught up in,” Pearson told ABC Radio National on Tuesday.
Price clapped back.
Pictured at a ‘right wing’ think tank event. Noel - Given your longer standing relationship with the CIS, their support for your work & your contributions through CIS papers and events are you suggesting you’re caught in a celebrity redneck vortex unable to think for yourself? pic.twitter.com/ytI04m4m0M
— Jacinta Nampijinpa (@JNampijinpa) November 29, 2022
Meanwhile the Liberal party are still thinking it all over and have yet to form, or confirm, an official position.
At a partyroom meeting - a regular occurrence during parliamentary sitting weeks - some Liberal MPs continued to advocate for the Voice while others expressed concern that Labor has not provided enough detail about how it would function.
The Australian reported that: "no Liberals stood up to speak on the voice in the party room meeting and that the issue will be taken back to the Liberal and Coalition party rooms for a decision to be made 'in due course'."
From one bin fire to another
Billy McFarland - the bloke who swindled people out of close to $40 million for the ill-fated Fyre Festival - is out of jail with "just $100" to his name.
He lost some weight but gained a lot of audacity in the slammer.
Yes he really is launching a new venture, pronounced "pirate" (?)
Deadline reports that Hollywood is in on it too as a new documentary called After the Fyre will “feature the disgraced entrepreneur as he launches his next business venture and attempts to pay back the $26 million dollars he still owes after scandalously defrauding investors, partners and attendees of the promised-but-botched luxurious music event that took place in 2017.”
Meanwhile the scammer has been busy doing the media rounds on his latest sorry tour.
Siri, play Karma.
On repeat.
#auspol's very own Katy v Taylor is kicking off
There's a new book about Scott Morrison - the former PM who secretly hijacked five others jobs - coming out this week and the snippets sprinkled to the media are juicier than a peach in December.
The latest is how Morrison's bestie - a NSW MP called Alex Hawke - described the former Prime Minister as being "addicted to power" in the wake of the secret portfolio saga and also said "he wasn't the greatest listener" while leading the country.
The two are tight allies in the NSW Liberal movement and now also sit together on the opposition backbench.
Which, since Hawke's quotes became front page news, looks about as cosy as an ice bath.
Hawke released a statement on Tuesday to downplay his claims and praised Morrison’s leadership qualities during one of the toughest times in recent Australian history.
“Having known Scott Morrison for many years in many different capacities I have only the highest regard for his character, ability, and service as Prime Minister,” he said.
“Indeed, we have been friends for many years and my long-term, consistent, and positive views about Scott Morrison are well known and my views on the great success of the Government, under his leadership are forever on the public record for all to see.”
So brave.
Since Alex Hawke is in the news today, here’s a joke from this year’s Midwinter Ball. pic.twitter.com/ASiizrE5p0
— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) November 29, 2022
The new government has since moved to censure Morrison in the Parliament on Wednesday, a move that Hawke described as “unnecessary political manoeuvring”. Rich coming from him - known back in not too distant past - as Morrison's key numbers man in Canberra and at a branch level.
The rest of the Libs are also not buying into it. All except Tasmanian MP Bridget Archer who will cross the floor and vote with government to officially tell Morrison off.
Liberal MP Bridget Archer has signalled she's 'inclined' to cross the floor to vote with the government on the Morrison censure motion tomorrow
— Trudy McIntosh (@TrudyMcIntosh) November 29, 2022
The Greatest Dane is coming home
Princess Mary is logging off official duties in her adopted kingdom and decided she's having Christmas in Australia this year.
The Hobart-born future queen of Denmark is bringing the kids - Christian, 17, Isabella, 15 and twins Vincent and Josephine, 11, to spend the holidays with her Tasmanian family, the Danish royal household has confirmed.
"In December, the Crown Prince's family will travel on a private Christmas holiday in Australia to celebrate the holiday with HRH the Crown Princess's family," a statement read.
Crown Prince Frederick is also tagging along.
It will be a private trip so there will be no official duties for the fam to carry out except laze around and get some sun on their first family holiday to see the Donaldson family in five years.
Mary's last trip to her home in an official capacity was in 2013.
It's been a big year for the Danish royal house.
Prince Christian was moved from his exclusive high school after it was embroiled in a bullying, harassment and hazing scandal and the Queen has decided to strip minor royals - all of Prince Joachim's kids - of their titles so they can live normal lives without the burden of the crown.
It's not gone down well.
Queen Margrethe, 82, and her youngest son are now arguing after the monarch announced she would be stripping his four children - Prince Nikolai, 23, Prince Felix, 20, Prince Henrik, 13, and Princess Athena, 10, of their royal titles. A move which he claimed had "hurt" them.
Mary is staying out of it and has been busy at work visiting the UK.
She popped into Buckingham Palace for a “Violence Against Women & Girls” reception to coincide with UK government’s two-day Preventing Sexual Violence in Conflict Conference which Camilla, Queen Consort and Sophie, Countess of Wessex, headlined.
Consider this your warning
Airport fire fighters across Australia will go on strike from 6am-10am on Friday, December 9.
They will walk off the job to protest about poor staffing levels and pay.
Expect airport chaos...even more of it.
David Jones in the discount bin
DJs - once the grand old dame of Aussie department stores - is "barely profitable".
According to earning data from the American Express credit card alliance which is sliding, just like sales.
"In August Woolworths Holdings, the South African company that owns David Jones, reported that David Jones’s reported adjusted operating profit declined by 0.6% to $83.7million," The Australian reported.
"However, accounts issued with the securities regulator by Osiris Holdings, the local company that houses the 184-year old department store, paints a very different picture of the true financial health of the retailer as it shows net profit collapsed to $14.53m in 2022 from $84.27m in 2021 - an 82.7 per cent decline.
According to the Osiris accounts revenue has also stalled, reported at $2.058bn for 2022 against $2.112bn in 2021."
Woolworths Holdings - the South African company that owns David Jones and other brands like Country Road - have been trying to sell the store for quite some time now with no luck or viable bidders.
Get well soon Jimmy Barnes
A Barnesy gig should be a pre-requisite for any Australian and so he can continue performing "for another 50 years" the rocker is having some time off to undergo some hip and back surgery to fix some niggles.
Pokemon not pokies in pollies sights
Andrew Wilkie - one of the independent MPs who sits in the House of Representatives in Canberra - has an issue with video games.
A classic Boomer tale however he has introduced a Bill to parliament this week that focuses on the outlawing of "loot boxes" - a gaming feature where players gamble to win virtual assets, often with real money.
With the new laws he wants to regulate game classification and all games that feature loot boxes will be classified R18+ and be clearly labelled. "In line with the fact that you must be 18 to legally gamble," Wilkie - a Tassie MP - said.
My Classification (Publications, Films and Computer Games) Amendment (Loot Boxes) Bill would put an R18+ rating on all video games with loot boxes. These features are setting young people up for gambling addiction. It needs to stop https://t.co/Lqt5oO497Y. #auspol #politas
— Andrew Wilkie MP (@WilkieMP) November 28, 2022
On brand
Anyone obsessed with Love Island Australia would know the name Jordan Dowsett.
He's the 25-year-old tradie with a mullet and impeccable manners in the villa.
The cheeky contestant swapped Spain for the Southport Magistrate’s Court on Monday where he plead guilty to mid-range drink driving on the Gold Coast.
According to court docs, Jordan was approached by police around 3am on November 13 at the intersection of Brisbane Road and Olsen Avenue at Biggera Waters after they saw Dowsett driving a golf cart on a busy road.
The court heard he was "returning from a late-night feed at local service station".
He was fined $750 and suspended from driving for six months.
Meghan Markle’s favourite face gym is opening in Australia, Greta Thunberg publishes Andrew Tate’s contact details
All the news that's fit to mint.
Emily Ratajkowski joins the competitive world of online dating, Nick Kyrgios quits at the last minute
All the news that's fit to mint.