Making news: We're probably not getting a Queen Kate but Bruce Lehrmann is getting a retrial

All the news that's fit to mint.

All the news that's fit to mint.

What's happening in (The) Oz:

📚 Boys can't read rooms or books now apparently

🏃🏼 Ryan Gosling seen 'working from home' in Sydney

🍔 We are eating a lot of our feelings

🏠 There are specially made houses sitting empty during this 'housing crisis'

🇧🇷 A former bombshell returns to the villa in Brazil

⚖️ A new date for the Bruce Lehrmann trial has been set

✈️ Sit in the middle seat if you like money

🤴🏻 We've about to have 'The Talk' with King Charles

🧑🏼‍🍳 That 'James Corden's yelling at kitchen staff ' was a stunt

Hello there, 

Ryan Gosling is in Sydney filming right now. Presumedly from these photos he's playing Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in a re-enactment of Scott Morrison's final days at Kirribilli where he wouldn't leave so new the PM got papped in his PJs at his pleb address. 

Would watch.

Ryan Gosling films in Sydney with some canine co-stars, for his new movie "The Fall Guy".

Also, Happy Melbourne Cup day to those who mark it. Rug up for the coldest Cup Flemington is set to host in more than two decades. It's going to reach a maximum of about 13 degrees.

Unfortunately the RBA is ruining the party and is having a board meeting today - like they do on the first Tuesday of every month - and the result is tipped be flatter than a glass of leftover sparkling you'll find in the rails at Flemington at about 5.30pm.

Our main bank is set to lift interest rates for homeowners by about 25 basis points. My thoughts, prayers and futon nightmares go out to all of you with relatively new mortgages. 

Meanwhile in Sydney, The Lebanese Muslim Association, which is the caretaker of the Lakemba Mosque, is under pressure to allow women in as voting members. Also we asked "what's life really like in Iran under the Islamic Republic rule?" and got some insightful answers. 

Sex is on our brains, TV screens and film theatres. The White Lotus is back and so is Monica Bellucci.

We're eating our feelings and treating ourselves still

One way - the major way really - to curb inflation is to jack up interest rates in order for us to have less money for discretionary stuff and things for some people right now.

However the ABS has said how our retail spend on things like food, booze and fashion has jumped for the ninth consecutive month. 

“This month’s rise was again driven by the combined strength in the food industries. Food retailing rose 1.0%, while cafes, restaurants, and takeaway food services rose 1.3%,” ABS head of retail statistics Ben Dorber said.

He put the spike down to the queen dying. Weird flex but checks out.

“Many retailers remained open for the National Day of Mourning, an additional one-off public holiday in September, and this boosted spending on food, alcohol and dining out.”Clothing, footwear and personal accessory retailing had the largest percentage rise, up 2.0% following a large fall of 2.3% in August 2022. 

Well that Anna Paul merch isn’t going to buy itself at Stax is it?

Boys don't cry or read anymore apparently

The latest NAPLAN results are truly shocking, especially for boys. Australia continues to slide down PESA metrics and we're quickly becoming the Jughead to the Archie of the western world's education systems.

It's year 9 boys who are struggling the most. 

The 2022 NAPLAN results showed Covid disruptions didn't have a huge impact on kids and their learning but there's been an overall decline in participation rates.

The most concerning results were in Year 9 boys where 13.5% didn't achieve the National Minimum Standard for reading.

The last time results were this low was in 2008 when 8.5% of students didn't meet the National Minimum Standard for one specific subject.

Australia is starting to resemble a Subway queue

Thanks to the all of the choices we've been given and are set to decide on.

We've had a Federal election and two more State polls are coming down the pike in the next few weeks and months. Then the $75 million question - the referendum on the recognising an Indigenous Voice to Parliament is locked and loaded for sometime next year.

However Assistant Minister for the Republic - a bloke called Matt Thistlethwaite - has to earn his publicly funded keep so is to set out on a "listening tour" of Australia to see if we're ready, or if there's an appetite to break up with the British Monarchy once and for all.

Outgoing Australian Republic Movement chair Peter FitzSimons reckons interest in cutting ties with the monarchy has never been stronger, with the group now pushing to attract more young members.

FitzSimons said the passing of Queen Elizabeth II brought about a sense of emotion for the royals but did not reflect the prevailing mood.

“The reality is we’ve had a surge in membership, in interest, like we’ve never had in our history before, because the game has changed,” he told the ABC on Monday.

“We’ve had a drive to have young membership … the majority of Australians under 35 are with us.”

FitzSimons said it was “extraordinary” recent polls showed 36% of Australians under 35 were unaware Australia’s head of state was a British monarch. He will stand down from his role in November after seven years at the helm. His replacement will be announced soon. FitzSimons replaced former WA Premier Geoff Gallop. 

Homelessness is rising, these are empty

More than 3000 properties for Australians with disabilities are sitting empty while NDIS participants languish in hospitals, group homes or aged care centres awaiting tick-offs from the agency.

"Excessive red tape, protracted planning decisions by the National Disability Insurance Agency and simple errors have led to participants waiting an average 125 days for decisions on Specialist Disability Accommodation, with the government acknowledging the process of getting into independent living was not working for many on the scheme," The Australian reported. 

NDIS Minister Bill Shorten blamed limited housing availability for why people were languishing in hospitals or facilities that aren't equipped for them.

'But according to an analysis of figures from the Housing Hub – a platform run by not-for-profit ­organisation Summer Foundation that advertises accommodation suitable for disabled Australians – about 3260 disability accessible properties are vacant," The Australian said.

Brazil has reunited with its ex

Former leftist president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva has won Brazil's presidential election.

He beat out far-right incumbent Jair Bolsonaro a second term.

The election has been seen as a referendum on two different visions for the country's future.

Bolsonaro vowed to consolidate a sharp rightward turn in Brazilian politics after a presidency that witnessed one of the world's deadliest outbreaks of Covid and widespread deforestation in the Amazon.

Whereas Lula promised more social and environmental responsibility, recalling the rising prosperity of his 2003-2010 presidency before corruption scandals tarnished his Workers Party and him.

Bolsonaro got along famously with former US President Donald Trump. 

Coincidentally, even before the final votes were counted in places like Bolsonaro's strong hold of Sao Paolo, Joe Biden chimed on the "victory" of his South American counterpart.

I send my congratulations to Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva on his election to be the next president of Brazil following free, fair, and credible elections. I look forward to working together to continue the cooperation between our two countries in the months and years ahead.

— President Biden (@POTUS) October 31, 2022

Lehrmann will be back 

The  ACT Director of Public Prosecutions has confirmed that former Liberal staffer Bruce Lehrmann will face a retrial next year for the alleged rape of Brittany Higgins.

It is expected to begin on February 20, 2023.

Lehrmann faces one charge of sexual assault over the alleged 2019 rape of Higgins.

This comes after the 12-day trial and a week of jury deliberations at the ACT Supreme Court was thrown out last week when a juror accessed academic documents and independent research causing ACT Chief Justice Lucy McCallum to abort the trial and discharged the jury. 

ACT DPP Shane Drumgold confirmed he would also continue to run the prosecution in the retrial. 

Middle seats suck but it could make you rich

Virgin Australia are trying to tempt us to sit in the middle seat. In doing so they are doing it with the change to win bank.

The special raffle, with big weekly prizes, is only open to passengers willing to sit in the middle seat. The promo will run for six months, through April 2023, with the total prize pool of about $230,000.

Here’s how it works: One prize winner will be randomly selected each week from those who flew in the airline’s middle seats. Some of the possible prizes include - a helicopter pub crawl, flights and tickets to AFL away games in 2023, a VIP package to the AFL Grand Final and a Cairns adventure package including hotel and flights.

I call bulldust on Corden's bust up

I'm not in the game of conspiracies but I've thought that James Corden getting publicly shamed, banned then unbanned from fancy restaurants in New York stunk more than his wife's "egg yolk omelette".

To recap: Last week in an Instagram post, Balthazar owner Keith McNally announced he would be banning the actor from his restaurant after he was “extremely nasty” to staff.

He said that Corden was “the most abusive customer to my servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago.” McNally wrote that he doesn't “often 86 a customer,” but “today I 86’d Corden. McNally went on two detail two egregious incidents of Corden acting "diabolical” to staff.

Read what he did here because, to be honest, I already think it's a case for the FBI as nothing made sense.

Turns out Corden is set to star in a new miniseries called Mammals.

The show is set to drop next Friday on Amazon Prime.

It, according to the show notes, follows "the story of Jamie (Corden), a Michelin star chef whose world implodes when he discovers shocking secrets about his pregnant wife, Amandine (Melia Kreiling)".

Well, well, well. 

What a better way to get a star some press than beefing with the industry he's set to depict.

Well played Corden. Well played.

Hollywood machine - 1, us gossip hungry savages - 0.