Making news: Lidia Thorpe pulls a Pauline Hanson and McMuffins spark an FMD alert

All the news that's fit to mint.

All the news that's fit to mint.

What's happening in (The) Oz today:

🔙 Public servant ScoMo is back at work

🪧 Lidia Thorpe caused more outrage than the things she protests about

👩🏻‍🏫 You might want to rethink doing that Grad. Dip now

🌀 Emma McKeon is "upward spiral" inspiration 

🍆 Canada is serious about wrapping before tapping

🍔 The most expensive Maccas run ever

🎶 Lollapalooza locking out kids after 10pm

🪐 Adult man George Jetson has been born

⚽️ Breaking news: people care about women playing sport 

Good Morning!

And welcome back to former prime minister Scott Morrison who returned to work in on Monday.

I would imagine returning to Canberra is a bit like attending your ex's wedding, but you only broke up three months ago.

For Morrison however, he's gone from the plush blue carpet of the Prime Minister's wing to finding himself having to use Google Maps just to find the public cafe inside the Parliament House maze now that he's an opposition backbencher (who still pockets a six-figure salary mind you).

He and former deputy PM Barnaby Joyce were sworn into the new parliament on Monday where Morrison was warmly welcomed back by his colleagues.

Gotta respect his chagrinning and bearing it.

Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnarby are sworn into the 47th Parliament. Morrison was in Tokyo last week, while Joyce did not attend following a family tragedy. #auspol @SBSNews pic.twitter.com/jFi0Xg5Wjk

— Naveen Razik (@naveenjrazik) August 1, 2022

Pantomime or protest?

Greens Senator Lidia Thorpe had to redo her oath in the upper house after she referred to the Queen as "colonising Queen Elizabeth II".

You can't ad-lib a swearing in but Thorpe free-styled much to the annoyance of some of her Senate colleagues.

Sovereignty never ceded. https://t.co/OowLrlUApy

— Senator Lidia Thorpe (@SenatorThorpe) August 1, 2022

"None of us likes it," Thorpe said as she explained why she didn't want to repeat the oath of office. 

She then continued the day speaking to the proposal of The Voice to parliament which the Prime Minister pushed on with at the weekend.

Thorpe has consistently said she's against it and would like to see a treaty with Indigenous Australians first.

Read her reasons why she'll think the referendum will fail here.

Got a degree?

In anything?

If so the government would like you to report to the principal's office please.

Or at least send Education Minister Jason Clare a note as the the Australian Institute for Teaching and School Leadership - a federal government apparatus - reckons one way of fixing the teacher shortage is by signing up "university-educated" workers to participate in teaching apprenticeships.

The plan includes a six to 12-month “paid internship’’ for those keen to change careers to earn cash while upgrading their credentials with a two-year masters degree in education.

While the hunt is on for lawyers, engineers and IT experts to be parachuted into classrooms - Mr G style - top performing teachers will be offered pay rises of up to 40%.

We're not worthy of Emma McKeon

While we (ok, just me) were waking up in a pool of drool, the champion swimmer became Australia's most decorated Commonwealth Games athlete for her stellar performance in an actual pool.

Emma McKeon has owned her opponents with her compelling performances at the Commonwealth Games. 

She has now jagged her 11th career Commonwealth Games gold medal, eight years after her first in Glasgow at her first international meet as an Australian Dolphin in 2014 and her third in Birmingham. The achievement has seen her now pass the previous record total of 10 shared by her idols Ian Thorpe, Susie O’Neill and Leisel Jones.

And she still has the chance to win four more medals - the amount of individual gold she won last year at the Olympics in Tokyo.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” McKeon said after being told she had broken the record.

Emma McKeon wins another gold.

“I just get in there and do my best and take each race one at a time. (The) 50 is a fun event for me and I feel like I’m a lot more relaxed than last year, a lot happier.

“It’s really nice to be mentioned alongside some of those names and I will be part of that history for years to come, hopefully. They’re the ones who inspired me when I was young. I remember watching them on TV and that lit the fire in me to be where I am now.”

She is the personification of a new trend called "upwards spiral" - when you're winning at life by accident.

It's a good day to be a latex lobbyist and consent laws advocate

As the Venn diagram is now a circle, well, in Canada at least.

The supreme court over there has ruled that people who don't wear condoms during sex, despite requests from their partners to do so, can now be convicted of sexual assault.

Read how Australia is dealing with these issues, including "stealthing" here. 

I have many McQuestions

To put to the man who has been fined $2664 for carrying "undeclared McMuffins" and a ham and cheese croissant and a "bag full of McDonald's products" when travelling into Darwin from Indonesia.

My first is, how could you?

Considering we're on red alert for food and mouth disease stemming from Indo and meat products right now.

And my second is, who doesn't eat their McMuffin in one mouthful asap? 

You do you mate, but the hero of this story is Zinta - the biosecurity dog who sniffed out his irresponsible haul.

The Agriculture Minister Murray Watt was not having it.

A passenger returning from Bali has just had the most expensive Maccas meal ever, with a $2664 fine after not declaring McMuffins & other meat products on arrival. If you do the wrong thing, you will be caught. Help keep Australia FMD-free. pic.twitter.com/gU2IS9tlMh

— Senator Murray Watt (@MurrayWatt) August 1, 2022

Lockapalooza 

Coachella with more clothes and less dust kicked off in, ironically, the Windy City over the weekend.

Dua Lipa was there and did this:

However the opening day of Lollapalooza 2022 at the weekend was overshadowed when a group of activists stormed the festival protesting about the city’s 10pm weekend curfew for young people.

Chicago has an ongoing "youth curfew" which means all people under 18 have to be indoors by 10pm.

While the city says the curfew is a way to crack down on crime, the activists have said the measure is “unconstitutional”, and say they are ready to take it to court.

Back in May, Chicago's mayor Lori Lightfoot announced the measure as a way to combat crime, shootings and large crowds following the shooting of a 16-year-old boy called Seandell Holliday.

"While the order applies to anyone under 18, attendees of ticketed events like Lollapalooza are exempt, but activists claim it’s a loophole that unfairly benefits wealthy tourists and white suburban teens while penalising those from poorer backgrounds as well as those from Black and brown communities. A lawyer representing the activists sent a letter to the city council asking them to rescind the curfew," NME reports. 

It's probably George Jetson's birthday

If the internet is to be believed, happy belated birthday to the OG dopey dad - George Jetson.

He ran so Homer could sit on the couch drinking Duff.

According to fact checking sites July 31, 2022 is day the patriarch of the vintage cartoon, The Jetsons, was born.

The show first aired in 1962, but was set 100 years in the future. That would be 2062.

During the first season of the show, George revealed that he's 40-years-old. So 2062 minus 40, and there you go. MATH!

Snopes in the US looked into the claim and concluded it is, in fact, a "reasonable estimation of his birth year."

As for the specific date, who actually knows. The show did suggest we'd all be in flying cars by now and we already have talking watches, AI personal assistants and flat screen TVs, which all featured in the show, so why not indulge in the nostalgia of the guy we're pretty sure Elon Musk framed his public persona on.

Get it girls

While Princess Charlotte would be walking on air today given her team - the Lionesses - won the Euro 2022 championships, the winning squad is walking in on and all over press conferences.

England beat eight-time champs Germany. It was their first finals berth since 1984, when they played Sweden in a "quagmire" of a pitch and no one gave a toss about women's sport, let alone came out to watch women's sport.

On Sunday night the game was held in front of a packed Wembley Stadium and more than 17.4m people tuned in to watch the match on TV - a record audience for a women's footy match in the UK.