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Making News: The Queen loved pockets and Lea Michele can read those mean comments

All the news that's fit to mint. 

Jenna ClarkeEditorial Director
6 min read
9:02PMSeptember 18, 2022.
Updated 5:46PMSeptember 19, 2022
The Oz
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All the news that's fit to mint. 

What's happening in (The) Oz today:

🏅 The Brownlow is back

🐶 Bluey to be the new $5?

🤓 Lea Michele can read

🌪 Stop complaining about the weather and look at Japan right now

🌶 The Spice Girls may have gotten their act together

📲 Apple royalty reviewed the new iPhone

📸 Harry Styles took a selfie

⛳️ Greg Norman cut his hair, gained relevance again

🚕 How to get a better Uber rating

👑 A week later, the Queen to be farewelled for good

Good afternoon!

Happy Monday (well til about 4pm when the Queen's funeral telecast kicks off).

Due to the changing international schedule because of QE II's death, the Brownlow was moved from its traditional time slot of Monday to Sunday. 

Patrick Cripps, who is the captain of Carlton and hails from country WA, won in a nail biting count, just beating out Lachie Neale from the Brisbane Lions to be named the AFL's champion player for 2022.

Cripps is a perfectionist. He's carried the Blues through some dark (and bad) times while also working hard on himself.

A speech pathologist has been helping him since he took on the captain's role this year as he wasn't confident in how he spoke in public and wanted to become more professional when doing media interviews and addressing the playing group.

We stan a man dedicated to personal development.

At the event, the usual hijinks happened with players kicking back enjoying the free hospo and their annual leave.

But a lovely touch was AFL legend Dani Laidley making her Brownlow debut with her partner Donna Leckie.

For all the red carpet looks check 'em out here.

This weekend the AFL grand final will take place back at its spiritual home at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on Saturday (after it was staged in Perth last year due to Covid).

Close to 100,000 are set to turn out to watch the Geelong Cats take on the Sydney Swans.

In NRL, the finals continue after the Rabbitohs beat the Sharks (ScoMo's team) and now head into the preliminary final against the Panthers this coming weekend.

Yes we're still in official mourning

Not to be glib but the Queen has had more goodbye tours that John Farnham, and after 70-years in the job she rightly should.

However you can't help but feel for her family who are looking more and more exhausted at every vigil that takes place.

Over the weekend, Prince William lead her grandchildren as they watched guard for their "Granny" as she continues laying in state at Westminster.

Harry was granted permission by the King to wear his military uniform for this service, but his royal insignia (the initials E.R) were removed from his kit as he is not a "working royal".

Prince Andrew - who was stripped of his military honours during the Jeffrey Epstein saga - released a statement to his "Mummy".

“As our book of experiences closes another opens…and I will tread gladly into the next with you as my guide,” he said.

👀

Meanwhile the average wait to pay your respects is about 13 hours and people are still queuing in the cold.

People have now been told to not bother.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is in London with our Governor General David Hurley. The PM has met with the new King and he's now rubbing shoulders with other members of the Commonwealth ahead of the official memorial service.

The funeral will take place late Monday night and it may be short and sweet.

The Queen did not want a "long" or "boring" funeral service, according to the former Archbishop of York Lord Sentamu. 

Lord Sentamu said the Queen told him herself and the state funeral would instead be uplifting and heartwarming. 

"So you're going to hear this wonderful English at its best, also you're going to hear angelic voices of the choir of the Abbey plus the Chapels Royal, you really hear voices that are singing to the glory of God," he told the BBC. 

"The Queen does not, and did not, want what you call long, boring services."

One thing she did love was dresses with pockets. According to her personal dresser Angela Kelly she dare pose in a more relaxed stance but the photos were released long after it was taken as there was a concern it could "bring down the monarchy".

Bluey's next gig?

While there's more Bluey merch than episodes out there, how about her to replace the Queen on our $5.

It's got some serious support online after a Photoshop job went off on Twitter.

What do you think?

Heard this spicy Glaso rumour?

The Spice Girls are tipped to be headlining next year's Glastonbury Festival.

According to reports in London's Sunday papers the fab four (five if Vicky B comes to the party) could potentially reunite for the music festival in June next year.

The news comes off the back of a hectic weekend of Spice news.

Melanie Chisholm (Sporty Spice) said she was sexually assaulted by a masseur before the girl group’s first-ever performance back in the 1990s.

And, David Beckham, husband of Victoria (Posh), rejected a VIP offer and instead lined up for 12-hours to pay his respects to the Queen over the weekend.

What a bloke.

Lea Michele can read

The former Glee actor turned Broadway star has taken just four seconds to reclaim the punchline to jokes and rumours she can't read.

Weeks after releasing a statement criticising the mean gossip she can't read with a lengthy statement, she joined TikTok this weekend and fought fire with fire.

@leamichele

lol 😉🤪😌

♬ original sound - Kardashian Clips

Steve Jobs' DNA has logged on

The daughter of the late Steve Jobs has thrown some not-so-subtle shade at Apple’s new iPhone 14 after it was unveiled last week for insiders.

Jobs' youngest daughter Eve posted a meme on the internet and the internet almost broke.

She then deleted the sass.

Her feedback adds to the criticism Apple has been receiving over new releases since Jobs' death and the departure of the company's longtime creative boss (and Jobs' BFF). The common issue - everything feels the same. 

Read whether you need a new iPhone in our comprehensive review here.

Because Japan hasn't endured enough hell this year

A typhoon has hit, killing one person and forcing about 8 million more to be evacuated from their homes in south west Japan.

Typhoon Nanmadol is one of the strongest weather systems to hit the country since records began back in the 1950s.

Meteorologists have said it's of the equivalent strength of a Category 3 major hurricane - with maximum winds reaching close to 200km/h. 

Harry gets Real 

This weekend gave birth to the first official Harry Styles selfie.

Styles didn't upload it to his own accounts, he took it for a fan in the mosh pit at his Harry's House show in New York and she subsequently posted it as her BeReal.

BeReal is the latest app that is dividing generations, read more about that here.

Has The Shark jumped the shark?

Greg Norman is incredibly excited about his new found relevance/importance on the world stage.

The champion golfer has been a vocal advocate of a new competition that is teeing off and upsetting a lot of people in golf circles.

And those in the human rights space.

LIV Golf is financed by a wealth fund owned by the Saudi Arabian royal family. It has been accused of being a PR vehicle to “sports wash” the Saudi government's history of human rights violations.

The tour has lured away many of the top golfers from the PGA Tour thanks to massive, multimillion dollar contracts, including Aussie champion Cam Smith.

Who Norman is enamoured with.

Smith is famous for his mullet.

So Norman got one.

Happy birthday Uber

Congratulations to us, we've been sloths for 10 years.

Uber is celebrating a decade in Australia this year. And since the first Uber ride in Sydney in 2012, we have taken more than 700 million Uber rides and ordered more than 450 million meals via Uber Eats.

The platform has provided side hustles for about 725,000 drivers and delivery partners.

Here are some tips from those professionals on how us plebs can improve our ratings.

  • Say hello to your driver
  • Apologise for short trips
  • Don't make a mess in the car
  • Be waiting outside/send a message saying you're on your way
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Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/the-oz/news/making-news-its-monday-mourning-and-greg-norman-lost-his-fringe-gained-cringe/news-story/7b18b7e1e3c03ab9f2ed28cb82ae6337