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Making news: Albanese is 'too mushy' for Monica Lewinsky and Tracy Grimshaw got 'baked'

All the news that's fit to mint.

Jenna ClarkeEditorial Director
5 min read
4:53PMAugust 29, 2022.
Updated 10:51AMAugust 30, 2022
The Oz
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All the news that's fit to mint.

What's happening in The Oz today:

📚 Move to Queensland where you'll get lots of sunshine, mediocre beer and free TAFE

🤑 Happy reporting season to all the nerds who celebrate 

💔 A horrific workplace tragedy happened in a top consulting firm

🚀 NASA failed to launch

👯‍♀️ Backstabbing survivor Sanna Marin finally gets some support

💨 Tracey Grimshaw's not so current, or healthy, affair 

🍭 Monica Lewinsky has pivoted to food reviews

💿 Taylor Swift confirms her insomnia

Good morning!

Fun fact, our Prime Minister shares his name with some lollies in the US called - "Albanese Gummy Bears".

Something that was only brought to my attention thanks to the beacon of enlightenment, Monica Lewinsky who published a review of the sweets.

Her tasting notes included: "The flavours are better but the consistency is too mushy" and she prefers something harder.

The lollies have been described by US media as being "the world's best" for being fat free, gluten free and soft.

Costco shoppers describe them as "the Mercedes Benz of gummies".

However, it took me three coffees before realising Lewinsky wasn't talking about the Australian government.

Especially on Monday where the only thing of note the PM did was present a Power Point presentation (minus the slides) on how good he's done during his first 100-days as leader by conducting a victory lap at the National Press Club in Canberra.

Meanwhile back at Parliament House, ahead of the Jobs and Skills Summit this week, business leaders and union reps actually accomplished something.

The Australian Council of Trade Unions, led by Sally McManus and the Council of Small Business Organisations Australian - COSBOA - which represents the small business sector, agreed on a four-point priority plan in order to simplify the industrial relations systems better for workers and employers outside of big business.

A groundbreaking step considering these organisations represent two sides of the employment coin.

Queensland is not a retirement village

Queenslanders under the age of 25 will continue to be able to access free TAFE and apprenticeships after Annastacia Palaszczuk announced an extension to the initiative on Monday.

Until June next year, young people will be able to access free courses in sectors with vacancies including early childhood, health services, hospitality, dental, allied health, agriculture, carpentry and engineering.

The Queensland Premier announced the extension ahead of the national cabinet meeting and the Jobs and Skills Summit this week.

“Already 56,000 people under the age of 25 have benefited from this project and we want to make sure it continues because we want our young people to get the skills they need for the vacancies in the sectors,” Palaszczuk said.

“I’m looking forward to representing the state down at the national skills summit and our free TAFE and apprenticeships is a good thing for our young people and hopefully some other states might adopt these measures as well,” she said.

Her announcement follows Victorian Premier Dan Andrews' plan (read: election promise) to cover HECS for all potential nurses and midwives.

Justice for Sanna 

Finish Prime Minister Sanna Marin has some horrible friends but has found an ally in another maligned woman - Hillary Clinton.

The former Secretary of State publicly came out in support of Marin.

It's giving #iykyk 

Reporting season is here

Congratulations to all of you who are smart and rich enough to invest. 

Good news if you're an iron ore magnate, book worm and a sucker for skin care stocks.

Booktopia recorded a 7.5% lift in revenue to $240.75m, despite all the nonsense happening behind the scenes between the feuding board, founder and CEO. It really only has Rory Gilmore to thank for its healthy performance.

Adore Beauty - despite gifting every order with a Tim Tam in this economy - has posted a 11% boost in revenue.

Our colleague, Eli Greenblat at The Australian, said its decision to start flogging its own brand of skincare was well played as the sales in the first month exceeded "internal expectations".

Fragrance and K-Beauty were also big sellers, accounting for 4.1% and 2.5% of Adore's total revenue respectfully. 

But it was Andrew 'Twiggy' Forrest who was Monday's carry over champ. 

Thanks to the resources company the iron ore magnate and green energy hype man owns a little more than 36% of - Fortescue Metals Group - (he's also the executive chairman) - pocketed about $1.35 billion in dividends.

His cash prize is actually not much to write home about. Profits slid about 40% from last year when he took home more than $4 billion in "thanks for playing" money.

EY office death investigation

EY, one of the country’s largest professional services companies, has launched a ­review into office social activities and security surrounding them after an employee died on Saturday.

The Australian's business column Margin Call reports:

"Five hours after she left The Ivy – a bustling Sydney CBD bar where her office was having a social event – the young woman was dead.

The 33-year-old had returned to her workplace, at accounting and consulting major EY’s headquarters in George Street, about 7.30pm and continued to work late into the night.

Police responded to an incident at the office in the early hours of Saturday morning, they said, and were now preparing a report for the coroner."

EY's chief executive David Larocca said on Monday that a "comprehensive and wide-ranging internal ­review encompassing health and safety, security, social events" will be undertaken.

Lifeline - 13 11 14

NASA's fizzer

A fuel leak and then an engine problem forced NASA to postpone the launch of its new moon rocket on a test flight that was meant to leave earth late last night.

The glitches were discovered in the final stages before lift off - as in during the literal countdown.

Proving that even smart people are not organised and space missions are a lot like going to the Maccas drive thru at 11pm. Only to discover the McFlurry machine is broken despite a lot of work (putting on pants is akin to quantum physics for me ok?) resulting in disappointment. 

The reason for the new space race? The US want to call dibs on the Moon before China and Russia get there. 

All totally normal 2022 things.

Tracey Grimshaw for President

If this supposed Australian Republican movement ever gains traction, I nominate A Current Affair host and iconic journalist Tracy Grimshaw as tribute.

On Monday she posted a throwback to that time she accidentally got high at work when covering a drug bust.

Taylor Swift is releasing a new album 

A facts we learned at the VMAs on Monday.

But get this, it's set to drop on the October 21 - the same day Harry Styles - her reported ex-boyfriend - will premiere his new movie, Don't Worry Darling.

The new album is inspired by "13 sleepless nights" she's had. 

Swift has a few instances of insomnia and turns it into art (that'll no doubt go to #1 and make her millions), yet I have occasional sleep issues (and no singing ability) but am told to get therapy.

Rude.

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Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/the-oz/news/making-news-albanese-is-too-mushy-for-monica-lewinsky-and-tracy-grimshaw-got-baked/news-story/3e6f06062f5d9cd5452e7ea5d3edce1e