A fat walrus is sinking boats in Europe as J.Lo tries to enjoy her honeymoon

All the news that's fit to mint.

All the news that's fit to mint.

What's happening in (The) Oz today:

🏡 Parliament is open for business

🍕 Our laziness is keeping hospo afloat

🦒 Melbourne Zoo has gone into a lock down 

💃🏼 Bindi and Robert Irwin storm Drag Race

🚣🏻‍♀️ A walrus called Freya is sinking ships in Norway

😴 Naps could kill you

🧑🏻‍❤️‍💋‍🧑🏻 J.Lo's honeymoon is better than Fashion Week

🏀 More Liz Cambage drama

👶🏻 Kayla Itsines' baby 

Good morning!

Canberra was more regal and ceremonial than a royal wedding on Tuesday. With all of the new and returning politicians being sworn in to officially take their seats in the home of democracy.

Lower house MPs - the ones who sit in the House of Representatives in the green room - took the oath on a range of texts, from Bibles and Torahs to Qurans and Buddhist texts. 

The eight independent MPs - all women - were welcomed together.

And the new Speaker, Queensland MP Milton Dick, was voted in. 

Governor-General David Hurley - the Queen's representative in Australia - officially opened the 47th parliament which is one of the most diverse in history and being led by a Labor government for the first time in about a decade.

It's an auspices time, as it's only the eighth time government has changed hands in Australia since World War II. 

“The government believes with the right policies and investment, Australia will be a clean energy superpower,” Hurley said in his speech which traditionally outlines what the government wants to achieve while in power.

He said as the world “demanded change” on climate action and Australia would respond accordingly, including in what it exported.

Following a number of devastating floods wracking the east coast over the past six months, there will be a priority put on responding to natural disasters and ensuring the capacity to “fix, prevent and resolve” emergencies.

“Keeping the nation safe is the sole duty of every government. A change of government represents a chance to bring the nation together,” he said.“I urge you to advocate … and debate respectfully.”

Today, debate begins in earnest. The first cab off the legislative rank will be climate change. Read more on that here.

Order now

Cost of living is expected to dominate the political psyche on Thursday when Treasurer Jim Chalmers gives his first major economic address to parliament, however for many in the real world the question of "why the f..k is everything so expensive?" has been going unanswered for weeks now.

Now, hundreds of restaurant owners across the country have revealed just how much the rising cost of goods is hurting their businesses.

Deliveroo has released the HospoVitaity Index Report, a survey of 300 restaurants around Australia to see what the impact of inflation is having on the hospitality sector.

It showed restaurants are relying on food delivery to stay afloat now more than ever.

The Deliveroo boss, Ed McManus, said the hospitality industry was optimistic coming out of lockdown periods, but that it's now feeling the impact of inflation surges and supply chain shortages “far and wide”.

FMD is really living up to its acronym

Melbourne Zoo has locked down certain animals to protect them from foot and mouth disease.

Zoos Victoria have closed the public pathway to the elephant enclosure at Melbourne Zoo.

Giraffes and kangaroos are also not allowed human visitors- as we carry the germs. Those enclosures have been temporarily suspended as hoofed animals being the most susceptible to FMD. 

Anyone living with livestock will not be able to visit the zoo, nor will individuals who have returned from Indonesia in the past 48-hours. 

The new measures are aimed at reducing the risk of zoo animals coming into contact with soil brought in from outside the facility, as concerns continue to rise following outbreaks in tourist hotspots across Bali. 

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has said it was good to see the zoo “taking this very seriously”.

“You’d expect nothing less,” he added.

Crocodile Hunters to sashay away 

Despite living in a zoo, wild life warriors Bindi and Robert Irwin are free to roam all the way to the catwalk of the new season of Ru Paul's Drag Race Down Under.

Bindi and Robert Irwin are continuing to branch out from Australia Zoo and into TV.

They will be the  first celebrity guests to appear on season two of the local spin off.

Read about Robert's other new TV gig here

Je suis Freya

Never have I felt more represented in the media than by a 600kg marine mammal sinking ships while she sun tans in Norway.

Freya is basically me as an exchange student to Scandinavia back in the day where I met the love of my life - chocolate sandwiches. 

But back to this enchanting, but unwittingly destructive queen named after a Norse goddess, who has  taken up residence in Oslo fjord for the summer.

Freya first gained notoriety in Norway by climbing on to pleasure boats in Kragero, an idyllic southern coastal village, and has been doing the same in the waters of the capital since last week according to local news reports.

Freya has been filmed chasing a duck and attacking a swan before, more often than not, falling asleep on boats struggling to support her heft.

Freya, who has also been spotted in the UK and Denmark, is now living her best summer vacay life in Norway.

A walrus can sleep up to 20-hours a day (same).

"It's a pity about the material damage but that’s the way it is when you have wild animals,” Rolf Harald Jensen, a fisheries official, said.

Wake up or you'll die

It's science not me being dramatic.

People who take regular afternoon naps could be at risk of higher blood pressure and strokes, according to a study.

Researchers looked at data from 358,000 people in the UK who were asked how often they slept in the daytime (🙋🏻‍♀️).

Those who do on most days had a 12% higher chance of having high blood pressure.

They were 24 % more likely to have a stroke over the 11-year follow-up period than people who never napped.

People who said they napped occasionally were 7% more likely to have high blood pressure and 12% more likely to have a stroke than those who did not.

Je t'aime J.Aff

J.Lo (yes I will be putting respect on her real name here) and her old boyfriend turned new husband, Ben Affleck may have had a low key wedding in Vegas but their honeymoon is like a season of Emily in Paris.

I have no thoughts just these exquisite photos that make me wish I had the patience to embark on international travel right now.

They'll forever be the MVPs of PDA.

Note how the ring is so big she can't use her pockets.

Affleck waiting in the Dior boutique for his beloved - hang this in the Louvre.

More Cambage chaos

Liz Cambage’s basketball career has taken another wild twist. 

The bball star is reportedly set to part ways with WNBA powerhouse team, the Los Angeles Sparks.

Cambage last year abandoned the Opals’ Olympic campaign after an ugly incident in a pre-Games scrimmage with the Nigerian team turned ugly with the 30-year-old at the centre of a heated confrontation, with allegations of the Australian using racial slurs against her opponents.

The saga derailed Australia’s Tokyo campaign, with the Opals eliminated in the quarter-finals to miss out on the medal matches.

She seems to love her time at the club, having only just posted a Gram from her most recent game, but a report from US basketball website The Ball Out is now claiming Cambage is set to depart the Sparks – with an announcement to be made as soon as this week.

Fit, thriving and fertile

Fitness mogul Kayla Itsines is having a big fortnight.

After recently announcing her engagement to her PT boyfriend Jae Woodroffe the couple are also expecting a baby, due in January.

It'll be her second bub and second attempt to make it down the aisle.

She split from her former partner and business partner Tobi Pearce back in 2020.