Here's who we think will die in The White Lotus

As we painstakingly wait until the final episode of Mike White's sensational series drops, here are our theories on who kills and gets killed.

As we painstakingly wait until the final episode of Mike White's sensational series drops, here are our theories on who kills and gets killed.

We’re all sitting at our desks, bug-eyed and dispelling theories about who dies in The White Lotus.

Our respective group chats are unrelentingly dinging with questions left unanswered. Will the series mirror the Testa di Moro myth? Why was Daphne alone at the beach when the bodies were discovered? Is nice guy Albie really all that nice? Is Greg the mysterious "cowboy" that broke Quentin's heart? ... Is Ethan okay? 

There was so much delectable interpersonal drama dished out in the first few episodes that we almost forgot season 2 opened with lifeless bodies bobbing in water. But last night's episode reminded us that death is near.

So, as we painstakingly wait until the final episode drops, here are our theories on the sinister Sicilian goings-on. Some of which, as reporter Joanna Panagopoulos says "are more vibes than based on any hard evidence" and the others are the result of dedicated Reddit-induced sleep loss. 

Daphne (Meghann Fahy) and Cameron (Theo James) in The White Lotus.

Albie kills

Ellie Dudley: Albie is going to fly off the handle and kill Alessio - Lucia’s pimp. I could really see Albie as a character who pushes back so much on toxic masculinity that he ends up being kind of toxic himself. He is going to become so enamoured with Lucia that he will do anything to protect her — including murdering her pimp.

Albie (Adam DiMarco) in The White Lotus.

Albie dies

Joanna Panagopolous: I think Albie is one of the people that is found in the ocean. I feel this storyline around Lucia and the so-called pimp Alessio, and Lucia manipulating “innocent” Albie, could backfire. Plus, there’s definitely something in the “good guys” dying. 

Valentina has killer instincts and a jealous streak

Ellie Dudley: I wouldn’t be surprised if the Hotel Manager Valentina kills Mia, the sex worker and aspiring singer. Valentina is very sensitive, so if she finds out that Mia slept with her to further her career, she could go totally crazy.

Quentin and Greg are in cahoots

Elyse Popplewell: In episode 2, Greg is on the phone, trying to be out of earshot from his flouncy wife Tanya. He tells the person on the other end of the call that he will be "home soon" and that Tanya is "clueless".

Greg flies out, abandoning Tanya with her insecurities and fears she is being used for her money. She is quickly swept up by a group of elite gay men, led by Quentin, who opportunistically boost her up when she's down. Tanya is wined, dined, and still - rich and vulnerable as heck.

Quentin (Tom Hollander) in The White Lotus.

Quentin says he has deeply loved a "cowboy" from Wyoming for thirty years and would do anything for him. Probably, even, helping him swindle money out of his hapless wife. We also see a photo of them together, discovered by Tanya, in the penultimate episode.

So when Quentin sets Tanya up with stud Niccolo, in a way that's a little more than persistent, it's all to help Greg. Everyone was quick to spot the tiny red light between them as they lay down in bed. So if they're recording Tanya having sex it's for one of two possible reasons:

1. To trigger an infidelity clause in the prenup agreement that makes it rain on Greg
2. To blackmail Tanya into paying to destroy the sex tape 

Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) in The White Lotus.

Ethan loses the plot (and his life)

Joanna Panagopoulous: None of the deaths will be satisfying, they will be frustrating, because White Lotus does not want to satisfy us, just put us on edge. My guess is that Daphne finds Ethan in the ocean in the first episode. Ethan perhaps will try to kill Cameron over the increasingly intrusive thoughts he had sex with his wife, Harper, and it goes sideways.

Harper (Aubrey Plaza) in The White Lotus.

Harper is the murderess

Joanna Panagopoulous: Harper could discover that Ethan has in fact been unfaithful (he repeats the phrase about never lying to her too often) or is not "on top of the world" with his business, as he claims, and kills him?!

Lucia will die confronting Cameron à la Testa di Moro

Geordie Gray: I haven't caught a wink of sleep since this show began so if this theory sounds hair-brained and like it was plucked out of the ShondaLand playbook, blame Mike White and his insomnia mind-tricks. 

There are two things I can't get off my mind: the first is the Testa di Moro myth introduced in the first episode, in which a Sicilian girl who was seduced by a Moorish man and, upon discovering that her lover already had a wife and children, lops off his head. The second is that Daphne was alone at the beach when she discovered the bodies. 

Apart from Michael Imperioli's character, Cameron is the only character with children. I might be taking this all too literally but Cameron did Lucia majorly dirty when he did not pay her for her sex work. I'm predicting a tense conversation that will end in fatality.

But Cameron isn't the killer... and might just be a victim of Ethan's rage

Geordie Gray: Even though he's a grade-A gobshite, I don't think Cameron is a killer. In fact, I think he'll get his just deserts and die at the hands of a manic Ethan. It seriously feels like Ethan is on the verge of a total breakdown, could years of pent-up resentment and rising suspicions that Cam has been canoodling with Harper drive the man to murder? 

Ethan (Will Sharpe) in The White Lotus.

Here's how I think it's going to go down: Ethan confronts Harper and Cameron about their suspected romantic tryst, and things get heated. Lo and behold, it's Lucia, she's come to demand her money for the last time — confirming Harper's suspicions that Ethan was unfaithful. Now everybody's losing it. Perhaps this entire thing conveniently takes place on a cliff face, maybe the one Tanya pointed at from the breakfast buffet and mused "“Such a beautiful view,” she says, taking in the view from the breakfast buffet. “Such a beautiful view, I wonder if anyone's ever jumped from here?”.