Frailties unmasked: India’s complaints are music to Australia’s ears

India’s complaints reveal they’re on the verge of putting the tour in the too-hard basket. It’s a psychological win for Australia before a ball is even bowled at the SCG.

Ravindra Jadeja at India’s training session at the SCG on Tuesday Picture: AFP

India doesn’t want to travel to Brisbane, eh? Things may be different, of course, if the ‘Gabba was less green mamba and more of your raging Mumbai turner. Their complaints are doing more than painting them as laughably precious, physically knackered, understandably mentally shot, brilliantly cunning or all of the above. They’ve given Australia a win before a ball has even been bowled in a Sydney Test where the only confirmed spectator for now is Yabba. Please, for the love of god and Gladys Berejiklian, somebody whack a mask on him.

The Australians must be doing cartwheels down the corridors of their plush Sydney hotel every time they hear of India’s grizzling.

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What a psychological victory. India’s reluctance to accept strict quarantine measures in Brisbane suggests a serious fraying of the edges. Falling apart at the Kookaburra’s seams? It suggests the tour is becoming an unbearable grind. And it suggests the mental battle is slowly but surely being lost ahead of the critical third Test. We all understand the hardships of the Indians being far from home and loved ones, of feeling trapped, but if they’re not prepared to follow Nathan Lyon’s advice to suck it up, stop complaining and get on with it, they’re goners at the SCG.

If you’re not up for this sort of contest, against an Australian side finally fielding its very best XI – assuming Dave Warner and Will Pucovski both play, and Travis Head is discarded – you’re down among the dead men.

Finally, a body able to stand up to the BCCI: the Queensland government! Talk about a couple of irrepressible forces. Ah, Queensland. Perfect one day, blocked off from the rest of the country the next. If the tut-tutting tourists think they’re being treated harshly, if they’re moping around convinced they’re victims of some sort of government or Cricket Australia stitch-up, this could be a very swift Test.

Frailties have been unmasked right when they could be steeling themselves for one of their greatest off-shore achievements. Every negative noise from the Indian camp is putting a spring in Australia’s step. For nothing gets the blood pumping and fortifies the mind more than knowing a foe is struggling. They’re feeling like prisoners? We get it. But have you seen their Double Bay hotel? That’s some prison. They’re being treated like animals at the zoo? There’s never been a zoo like it, a zoo with Netflix, marble bathrooms and room service.

Their protestations about the Brisbane leg make no sense. There’s only four days between the Sydney and Brisbane Tests. One of them will be a travel day. Airport, hotel, rest. The others will be training and recovery days. Nets, hotel, rest. That’s all it ever is. Brisbane should be the easiest leg because the finishing line of the tour will be in sight. Match days are 12-hour stays at the ground.

What are they planning to do in Brisbane? Why the cry for freedom? Trips to the Gold Coast? Visits to Sea World and Movie World? Few travelling cricketers venture too far from their rooms. The overall impression? If the Indians start poorly in Sydney, capitulation may follow. Retention of the Border-Gavaskar Trophy seems headed for the too-hard basket.

The difficulty in writing about this stuff is that criticism of Indian players and/or officials can and is being cast as racism. It’s nothing of the sort. Have they not seen how we give it to the Poms! A BCCI official has been quoted by the mass-circulation Times of India newspaper as taking the most dim possible view of comments by Queensland Health Shadow Minister Ros Bates and Queensland Deputy Opposition Leader and former NRL referee Tim Mander, who may not have faced this sort of hostility since Roosters fans threw coins and abuse at him after one particularly eventful Roosters/Sea Eagles match in 2005. Bates has said, “If the Indians don’t want to play by the rules, don’t come.” Mander has chimed in with: “If the Indian cricket team wants to spit the dummy and disregard quarantine guidelines in Brisbane for the fourth Test, then they shouldn’t come. The same rules must apply for everyone. Simple.”

The BCCI official has responded: “The statement made by the public representative portrays Indians in poor light and let me assure you, we do not want to do anything other than abide by the rules … to try and propagate a view that we don’t wish to follow the rules is unacceptable and the tone and tenor in which it was said seemed rife with hostility and bordered on racism. It is therefore not a surprise that a rethink is on the cards. If a representative of the public does not want us there, it is hurtful … the last thing we want is to upset the Australian fans who have given us so much love and support over the years. We do not wish to make it difficult for them or for Cricket Australia.”

The longer it goes, the more praise goes to Lyon for saying it straight. It ain’t perfect for either team. Life right now ain’t perfect for most members of the human race. The only thing to do? Adopt the motto of modern sport: Suck it up. Stop complaining. Get on with it. Or give it away.