Random memories of Diamond Dave Warner: his first splash of publicity as the pioneer of cavalier T20 specialists with bats the size of Thor’s hammer and allegedly no inkling of real batsmanship: a limited-overs ton for NSW at Drummoyne Oval that suggested he might be a proper technician after all; knocking Dale Steyn out of the park on his opening night for Australia at the MCG; a Test hundred before lunch at the SCG like he was facing a tennis ball in the kids’ games out near Steve Waugh’s statue; Sandpapergate; his wailing press conference to say sorry; his horrible Ashes series on return in England; his rather herculean recovery in Australia last summer; his opening tee shot at an Australian Open golf pro-am when a couple of drunken smart arses were heckling him.
Warner will take a suspect groin – it’s suspected of being no damn good – into the third cricket Test against India at the SCG, which looms as a curtain-raiser to the fourth cricket Test against India at the SCG. Who can blame India for wanting to avoid the Gabbatoir at all costs? The SCG Trust cannot believe its luck. One Test is worth as much coin to them as a whole season of Sydney Swans matches. Faced with zero Tests and zero coin, there’s now the likelihood of two Tests … in a row! Ka-ching.
Warner’s comeback will be fascinating. The young bull is now an older bull and when you’re 34, groin injuries are a nightmare. It can ping like a guitar string at any second: lunging back for a cut, striding forward to drive; embarking on a quick single. It may end in tears, but anyway here’s to him in all his imperfect glory. Mountaineers have been through fewer highs and lows than Warner. His 10-year, rough diamond, 84-Test career has been nothing if not memorable.
Random Memory of Diamond Dave #1: It was a newspaper story in 2008 about the possibility of double-sided bats in T20. (Where’d that idea go?) The photos were of a nuggety young left-hander who seemed the prototype T20 player. An accomplished slogger incapable of the snobbish ideal of real batsmanship.
The article said: “The bat maker Stuart Kranzbuhler doubts Test batsmen would even consider the new model – but young hitters, looking for an advantage in Twenty20 cricket, are already interested. ‘I think true batsmen won‘t even look at doing something like that,’ Mr Kranzbuhler said. ‘It would really be a player that’s developed himself purely for Twenty20 cricket.’ The piece continued: “Despite Australia having only played their first Twenty20 match three years ago, such a player already exists in the form of the promising NSW all-rounder Dave Warner, 22.”
Random Memory of Diamond Dave Warner #2: That same season, I went to Drummoyne Oval to watch the T20 madman play for NSW in a 50-over game. I expected crazed stroke play that would have Bradman rolling in his grave. His century was as pure as you could get. I still remember one on-drive that made me think, shot!
Warner was yet to play for the Blues’ Sheffield Shield team. He was being chased by Queensland and Victoria. He re-signed with the Blues and said: “NSW has a proud tradition of producing great cricketers for the state and for Australia and if, in some way, I have the opportunity to be part of that tradition it would be great.”
Cricket NSW boss Dave Gilbert was telling anyone who’d listen that Warner was being underestimated. He’d be a sensational Test batsman, Gilbert said, while all those around him slapped their thighs in misguided laughter.
Random Memory of Diamond Dave Warner #3: The MCG. January 11, 2009. Sport becomes a blur and not everything is remembered too clearly – but this is. Parking myself in front of the idiot box to see if Warner could slay an international attack. It was his T20 debut for Australia. Steyn and Makhaya Ntini were bowling in the high-140km/h range. Warner’s selection was remarkable. He was basically the young bull from a housing commission block in Sydney picked without a single first-class match on his resume. He made 89 in a 43-ball knock that changed his life. One of his six sixes, off a 147.5km/h thunderbolt from Steyn, cleared the MCG fence over mid-wicket and had his captain Ricky Ponting, the nonstriker, wide-eyed and chortling with wonder. What we learned: the bloke could bat. Properly.
Random Memory of Diamond Dave Warner #4: By 2017, he’d become top-shelf in every format. He went berserk against Pakistan on the opening morning of the SCG Test, a controlled berserkness reminiscent of Doug Walters and David Hookes in their celebrated pomps, but better.
See off the new ball? Stuff that. He murdered it. A 78-ball ton. The fastest ever at the SCG. When Australia was 0-100, Warner was 80, batting like Angus Young plays the guitar. Matt Renshaw was 19. Twenty minutes before lunch, Warner was 86 … and the crowd cottoned on. A century before lunch. They’re magical words. They celebrated every run like the result of the match was on the line. When he reached three figures, the roar was affectionate and spine-tingling.
Random Memories of Diamond Dave Warner #5, #6, #7 and #8: Sandpapergate? I joined the pile-on. Send the cheat home, et cetera. He was the biggest villain, undoubtedly. Now I look back and think of the Sonny Bill Williams masks and the vile personal hatred directed at him in South Africa, and I suspect he did well not to put one on someone’s chin.
His next press conference was painful. He sounded like a dying animal. You suspected he would recover better and faster than the more sensitive Steve Smith, because at heart he was still the brawler from the housing commission block, but his return in the Ashes was beyond hopeless. He started with English crowds booing him. By the end, it was even worse, they were laughing at him. His 95 runs in 10 Test innings was the worst ever by an Ashes opener. His career was in grave doubt … but he came home and carved 786 runs at 131 to prove he was still capable of hammerblows.
Random Memory of Diamond Dave Warner #9: He was at the Australian Golf Club after his deplorable Ashes series. He was teeing off on the 10th. A large crowd was gathering. A few of the drunks were getting lippy. Your grip looks damp, need some sandpaper to dry it off? Miss the fairway and you’ll be in the rough. It’s like sandpaper out there, et cetera.
I remember his meticulousness; strapping his glove as careful as he does his batting gloves after every ball. Crowds at pro-ams love watching a celebrity duff one off the tee. They laugh their heads off. It’s a very real pressure. I’m sure Warner could sense the vibe. Miss it!
He stared down that fairway like Steyn was coming off his long run again. He smoked his drive farther than the pros in his group. It was as good a shot as you’d ever wish to see. He whipped off his glove and soaked in the applause and grinned: “Never in doubt.” When he hobbles onto the SCG with the groin suspected of being no damn good, we’ll be witnessing a true survivor. And entertainer. Bravo.
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