They’re playing Sweet Caroline!
Okay, so maybe I do have some skin in the game (as it were) but when everyone stands up at quarter-time and starts singing about how lovely you are, you’re not very likely to complain, are you?
Sweet Caroline … good times never seemed so good!
Not a problem for me, not at any volume.
You know what is a problem, for Swans fans? We’re not winning. We are losing. This I know because I’ve been going to the games, but the signs are actually everywhere.
Seen a Swans cap recently?
Of course you haven’t.
Swans caps, scarfs, key fobs … they turn up like hothouse roses on Valentine’s Day when we’re winning.
Didn’t see a single one on Bondi Beach on Sunday.
Do the Swans have fair weather feathers? Maybe.
But this brings me to Saturday’s game. It was the grand final rematch against Brisbane, and this time, we were going to show them!
Except we didn’t.
What went wrong?
At the post match press conference, it was suggested to the new coach, Dean Cox – no pressure, my friend, no pressure – that we lacked cleanliness.
Lacked cleanliness?
Dean, my friend, my son, this is Sydney, home of Trough Man.
Yes, we lack cleanliness.
Pushed on this point, he said the Swans were “slippery” because “it was hot early … every time they touched it, everyone was sweating so much …”
Wait, are we still talking about football here, or Oxford Street on a Saturday night?
Dwayne Russell on Fox Footy seemed to agree, saying we were “sloppy” and “maybe “a bit desperate?”
Swans or MaFS? You decide.
But speaking of slippery . who else remembers when we paid a stonking $10 million for the great Lance Franklin and, like the final eye-watering bid on a dilapidated semi with an outdoor dunny in Darlinghurst, it turned out to be worth every cent?
We all do!
Which makes me think that there’s a very Sydney solution to this problem: throw money at it.
Maybe the experts are right, though. Maybe we do need to extend ourselves a little more, although that does sound a bit like the time Sydney got rid of Bondi floaters simply by pumping them a little further out to sea.
The neighbouring council of Coogee objected, saying that they didn’t want to have to deal with the brown mullets either. We thought they meant in the ocean. Turns out they meant in their ice cream.
But I digress.
I actually have a theory about our losing streak and it’s bound to be a controversial one in a city where the 50 metre mark is at 38 metres, but did anyone else notice how short the final quarter of the Brisbane-Swans game was?
Every other quarter went for 32 or 33 minutes, but the final quarter, where we needed just one more goal, was over before you blinked.
I clearly remember looking at the clock, and seeing 28 minutes, and being sure the Swans were going to do that thing they always do, and give every (not-so-diehard) fan a heart attack by winning it with seconds to spare.
But no.
Because there were no dying seconds. They killed the quarter on the knocker, with the Swans four points behind.
But okay, back to the music. My colleague says it’s so loud she can’t hear herself think, but I’m with Bob Dylan here: play it loud. If you don’t get that reference, go watch A Complete Unknown, with Timothee Chalamet, who was robbed at the Oscars, just as we were, on the weekend.
Caroline Overington is a Swans ambassador.
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Okay, so I’ve been reading my colleague’s very popular piece about how the music at the Swans games is just way too loud, and with the greatest respect ….