Bias count

POLITICAL bias is not always an easy thing to measure. But blogger Gavin Atkins has attempted to discover whether the perceived left-wing slant of the ABC's Lateline program actually exists.

POLITICAL bias is not always an easy thing to measure. But blogger Gavin Atkins, who writes for the Asian Correspondent website, has taken a novel approach in an attempt to discover whether the perceived left-wing slant of the ABC's Lateline program actually exists or whether the claims of bias are just paranoid ramblings from the conservative side of the political divide.

 Atkins compared two recent interviews the show's host Tony Jones conducted with opposition treasury spokesman Joe Hockey and Treasurer Wayne Swan, and recorded how many times the silver-haired journo interrupted the pollies and how much of the respective interviews were filled by Jones-speak. Now, as Strewth is physically and mentally incapable of any bias, we will simply reproduce Atkins's findings in their raw form. "As indicated by the ellipsis punctuation (. . .) appearing at the end of an unfinished sentence, Hockey was interrupted 20 times. As indicated by ellipsis punctuation (. . .) appearing at the end of an unfinished sentence, Swan was interrupted 0 times. From a 3482-word segment, 2027 words were spoken by Hockey and 1455 words by Jones, thus Jones took up 42 per cent of the words used in the Hockey interview. Out of a 2960-word segment, Swan spoke 2190 words, 870 words by Jones, thus Jones took up 29 per cent of the words in the Swan interview." To put that in some perspective, independent observers have noted that roughly 93 per cent of the average Strewth column is utter nonsense.

Typos are forever

AUSSIE sportsmen, beware: there seems to be a rogue tattooist on the loose who has discarded his dictionary and is wilfully dispensing superfluous apostrophes and spelling mistakes across the chests of our finest athletes. NRL star Sam Thaiday is one recent victim, and was pictured on the front cover of this newspaper's sports section on the weekend bearing a tatt below his neck that read: One Brother Bleeds All Brother's Bleed. Yesterday, another rugby league player, Jarrod Sammut from the Penrith Panthers, appeared shirtless in a Sydney newspaper, proudly displaying new ink that roared: JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTANCE. Of course, they aren't the first Aussie sports stars to enter the Tattoo Hall of Shame. Cricketer Michael Slater famously had the number 356 tattooed on his body -- believing he was the 356th Australian Test representative -- only to discover that he was listed by Cricket Australia as the 357th. Then there is English soccer superstar David Beckham, who had the name of his wife, Victoria, aka Posh Spice, misspelled in Hindi on his forearm. But few tattoo mishaps can match that of a Victorian footy nut known only as Neville, who wanted a permanent reminder of Geelong's AFL premiership in 2007. Neville was in Thailand soon after his team's grand final win and asked a local tattooist to brand his arm with the proud boast: Geelong -- Day Premiers 2007. Unfortunately for Neville, something got lost in translation and the result was a tatt that read: Geelong -- Gay Premiers 2007.

Coming and going

IS it possible that Pauline Hanson's announcement that she is shifting to Britain is just a load of old bollocks? Yesterday, Hanson's real estate agent Keith Edwards, who is selling her Coleyville property southeast of Brisbane, told Strewth that the former One Nation leader would be returning to Australia but would not live in Queensland. Edwards had said that a Woman's Day article that claimed Hanson was leaving for good and becoming "a Pom" were wrong. But then, quicker than we could say "I'll have a large serve of fish and chips thanks Pauline, and throw in some calamari rings and a Chiko roll, will ya", the former One Nation leader and Woman's Day issued a joint statement confirming the veracity of the magazine's article, which appeared in this week's issue. "Yes, I am planning on going indefinitely as I said in the Woman's Day article. I am leaving Australia and will be gone for the foreseeable future. My leaving has been blown completely out of proportion by media commentators who have not read the Woman's Day story in full." To be fair, that was an easy mistake to make -- very few people ever make it to the end of an article in Woman's Day. And late in the day, Edwards himself cleared things up, in what is probably the most humble remark ever made by a real estate agent in the history of the world. "Look, I'm just a real estate agent and I just spoke out of turn. I've recanted what I said about Pauline being misquoted. I shouldn't have said what I said and I have apologised to Woman's Day."

Dog eat dog

STILL in Queensland, a press release from LNP Deputy Whip Ted Sorensen caught our eye yesterday. The issue was dingo management on Fraser Island, and good ol' Ted was taking aim at state Labor Climate Change Minister Kate Jones. "I'm sure it wasn't a full moon last night . . . she's bared the teeth and snapped at me faster than a hungry dingo," he seethed, upset that Jones had told him he was "asleep at the wheel" for suggesting that a feeding platform would allow safer interaction between tourists and dingoes. After comparing Jones with a wild, angry dog, Sorensen ended his press release by calling for an end to "silly personal abuse". Pot, kettle, black.