Pyne will be missed – but at least not by his children

If you want to be the father of the year or the husband of the decade, take my advice — do not under any circumstances make a run at federal politics.

It has long been my view that whoever came up with the immortal phrase ­“absence makes the heart grow fonder” got it hopelessly wrong. In my experience absence ­encourages the heart to wander. The divorce rate among our politicians is at least as high as that of those who vote for and against them. This is occurring despite the fact that the picture with the spouse and the kids is bread and butter for local, state and federal campaigners.

When most people divorce the pain and the hurt is traumatic enough. When a politician gets a divorce that pain and hurt is multiplied many times over because of the publicity that inevitability follows the famous. It is pretty hard to grieve for the loss of a ­relationship when the eyes of the world are on you.

While the resignations of Christopher Pyne and Steven Ciobo will be characterised by some as rats jumping off a sinking ship, both men have young families who would love to see a whole lot more of their dad. Michael Keenan and Kelly O’Dwyer are in the same boat. For the poor bastards who come from Perth or the Northern Territory, getting to and from parliament has as many difficulties and hardships as an entrant in the Dakar Rally. For them, the stress on family must be extraordinary.

Illustration: Eric Lobbecke.

Most people simply don’t realise that politicians sit on several house and Senate committees as well as parliamentary party committees. Any MP from Perth, rural Western Australia or the Northern Territory does it tough.

A few years ago, Labor was pretty chuffed when it uncovered a new star. This MP from Perth was a bloke named Tim Hammond. He had heaps of natural talent and charisma but he crashed very quickly. He was elected on July 2, 2016 and resigned on May 10 last year. My wife Amanda’s constant ­refrain is “happy wife, happy life”. The Hammond family made it very clear to Tim that politics was ­ruining their family setup.

The good news is that no one mentioned above was caught in a scandal, as it must be remembered that people in that category are slinking out the back door in disgrace. The disgraced politician always proclaims their delight at being “able to spend more time with the family”.

In any event, Pyne had been in parliament for a quarter of a century and he is still in his early 50s. I will miss his outrageous ­hyperbole, his humour and, no matter what you may think of him, his capacity to be always out there, pushing his cause. Ciobo is a solid thinker who could also do well when he rose from his pew and strode to the dispatch box. He also mastered the art of giving the answer he wanted to, even if it had little or nothing to do with the question asked by a journalist or a political foe.

It will not be easy for either Ciobo or Pyne to sit on the hill and watch the game. Politics is nothing if not addictive.

I have been incredibly lucky in that I may have left parliament about 25 years ago but I never left politics. Politics is more addictive than most opioids, marijuana and ice. Pyne and Ciobo will need a political fix every day for quite some time. I say this as I write this column for The Australian and appear a couple of nights a week on Sky News. Fortune favours the stayers.

When the economy is performing well — there is still some growth in GDP — you would normally expect a government to be re-elected. However, for the first time the economists have been forced to rewrite some chapters in their tomes. How ­unemployment at a tick under 5 per cent would normally mean some wage increases, but wages have refused to move for the best part of five years. The government of the day is the one blamed by the disgruntled. Labor has not been in power for six years, so there is little point in attacking Bill Shorten.

This is the problem of and by the government, and it is one of the major reasons the Coalition will lose the May election.