Joyce affair: Confected outrage when the game was up

How could the PM have held Joyce’s hand up high in victory if he knew of the affair he says was “a shocking error of judgment”?

Barnaby Joyce with Malcolm Turnbull after the New England by-election win. Picture Lyndon Mechielsen.

When I walked on to the set of Paul Murray Live on Monday night I was determined to talk about something else — anything else — other than Barnaby Joyce and Malcolm Turnbull.

My resolve lasted less than 10 minutes as Paul played an excerpt from a Monday morning radio interview between Neil Mitchell and the Prime Minister on Melbourne’s 3AW.

As a life member of the Labor Party I am acutely aware that I will be accused of apprehended bias. Consequently, I have tried assiduously to be even-handed to the point where one column I wrote about Shorten had some people in my party accusing me of being a turncoat. The problem I have is that the Prime Minister drives from one disaster to another at breakneck speed. It really is hard to keep up.

Firstly, let me clear the air on why I have been so tough on the Deputy Prime Minister. It has nought to do with his affair with Vikki Campion. That really should be a private matter.

It is the creation of two jobs in other National Party members’ offices for Campion that did not exist before or after she served in them.

It is because he was stupid enough to introduce the concept of a timeline from when she moved from girlfriend, to mistress, to partner. This was done so he could claim he had not breached ministerial standards.

Mostly now, though, it is his arrogance and ego being such that he believes his job is more important than his colleagues losing their seats or the Coalition losing government.

While I am definitely way short of genius, as is Barnaby, I do have some talents — as does Barnaby. Yet I know I would not have lived the life I have without the Labor Party. I did not get elected to the Senate on a wave of popular support. I got there because I was high enough on the Labor Senate ticket.

The Deputy PM did not become a Queensland senator because of his good looks and Churchillian oratory. He got there because he was high enough on the Coalition Senate ticket.

Now he seems to believe that his National Party colleagues win their seats because of his inspired leadership. His delusional behaviour has turned him from being the best retail politician in Australia to a laughing stock. He achieved all that in less than a fortnight.

Meanwhile, back in Melbourne, the good ship Turnbull hit the rocks and the only question now is when will it finally sink. Mitchell is one of Australia’s great interviewers. He can lull the hapless interviewee into a false sense of security with his charm and a few seconds later leave them a mumbling, bumbling mess. So it was with the PM on Monday. Mitchell asked him a simple question. When did he know about the affair? Turnbull, one of the most articulate people you could ever meet, dissembled into a quivering mess. He tried and failed to answer the question five or six times. His excruciating stumbles were truly embarrassing.

Put simply, Turnbull is terrified of giving a truthful answer. Turnbull became the great defender of traditional marriage at a press conference last Thursday. As the great moralist of our time, he banned sex between ministers and their staff.

We know that senior Coalition people met to discuss how to keep the Joyce affair secret during the New England by-election. No one could believe that Turnbull was not part of that. No one will believe he did not know before November/December.

How could this great moral guardian have held Barnaby’s hand up high in victory, speak of their great friendship and even say Barnaby was his hero if he knew of the affair he has labelled “a shocking error of judgment”?

The only answer is that last Thursday’s press conference was all because the game was up and everyone knew of the affair. All we saw was confected outrage.