The Sketch: Secrecy-obsessed bureaucrats are giving public scrutiny the elbow

How would Parliament House cope with a COVID-19 outbreak if, hypothetically, coughin’ Josh Frydenberg had tested positive after two days in the Canberra ­Bubble™?

Health Minister Greg Hunt was spied self-sanitising the microphone and dispatch box in the House of Representatives on Wednesday. Better safe than sorry, after rousing on Frydenberg for hacking into his hand.

“He’s already spoken to me about that himself. It was the first thing he raised,” Hunt told Sky News. “I had a chat with him this morning. He said: ‘I should have coughed into my elbow, sorry about that.’ ”

If the response to the recent outbreak of the highly contagious hand, foot and mouth disease in the childcare centre is anything to go by, our guess is Parliament House would respond with an ­absolute lack of accountability.

As Strewth revealed on February 12 (note that date), no building occupants or parents were ­officially informed despite the staff dining room next door sharing a courtyard with the cooped-up kids.

At the time, the Department of Parliamentary Services, which runs Parliament House, confirmed there were cases but refused to give this columnist any information — such as how many people were infected or what quarantine process had been put in place — citing privacy reasons.

Unlike other government departments, DPS is excluded from the operation of the Freedom of Information Act.

And more often than not, it ­ignores any questions put to it.

What about Senate estimates? Surely they have to provide some transparency there. Judge for yourself.

Here’s how DPS answered nine questions Labor asked on ­notice in March, which were finally tabled on Tuesday.

1. How and when did the ­department become aware of the disease outbreak? “Outbreak is not an appropriate term to describe this incident. The operator of the childcare centre notified DPS on 26 February, 2020.”

2. Are media reports accurate in that the outbreak was first identified in the childcare centre of Parliament House? “Not applicable.”

3. How many individuals contracted the disease? “Please contact the operator.”

4. What medical advice was sought by the department? “Not applicable.”

5. When was that medical ­advice sought? “Not applicable.”

6. What was the medical ­advice? “Not applicable.”

7. Did the medical advice suggest methods and language with respect to communication? “The operator of the childcare centre is responsible for communications to parents with children in care.”

8. Who ultimately decided that communicating this outbreak with parents of children in care and building occupants was not ­required? “Not applicable.”

9. How did the failure to communicate this outbreak protect the wellbeing of vulnerable building occupants? “Not applicable”.

Your right to know, indeed!

“Scrutiny should not be another casualty of this pandemic,” Labor frontbencher Tony Burke told parliament on Monday.

“We are able to observe physical and social distancing here. While we’re not meant to be meeting until 11 August, rugby league will be starting on 28 May. If you think about rugby league adopting the 1.5m distant tackle rule, it’s not easy to do. But they are able to resume playing again, whereas we, spaced at the distance that we are, are apparently not going to be able to meet until 11 August.”