How to start those difficult conversations with young people about mental health

Concerned about a young loved one’s mental health? You’re not alone, and starting a conversation about it with them is challenging. Here’s some advice on what do.

Eight in 10 family members are concerned about the mental health of young loved ones, a new survey finds

The more concerned family members are with a young person’s mental health, the harder they find having a conversation about it, new research reveals.

And eight in 10 family members are concerned at least to some degree about their young person’s mental health, the new study by youth mental health foundation Headspace finds.

The organisation’s inaugural National Family Mental Health Survey concludes that Australian families are generally open about discussing mental health concerns, with 45 per cent of families discussing it at least weekly.

However, the greater a family’s worry about their young person’s individual mental health, the more difficult raising the topic becomes.

The survey finds 28 per cent of families who have concerns about their young person’s mental health and wellbeing say it is ­either “very difficult” or “difficult” to have a conversation about it. But for those others who aren’t concerned about their young ­person’s state of mind, just 11 per cent say the same.

The survey took the views of more than 2,000 family members of Australians aged 12-25. The most concerned families were those caring for an LGBTQIA+ family member, or someone from a multicultural community.

One in five of those concerned about the mental health or wellbeing of their young loved one don’t feel confident to ask a professional for support, it finds.

The study comes at a worrying time for the state of mental health among young people in Australia.

The National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing 2020-22 last year found nearly 40 per cent of 16 to 24-year-olds experienced a mental health disorder such as anxiety or depression in the past 12 months, with young women more prone than young men.

And data from the Australian Council of Educational Research Social-Emotional Wellbeing survey last year showed primary and secondary school students were lonelier, more anxious and less able to control their emotions than they were five years ago.

Headspace chief executive Jason Trethowan said the fact almost half of families were openly discussing mental health with family members showed the issue had been socialised to a greater degree than in past generations, which was a positive.

Headspace CEO Jason Trethowan. Picture: Alan Barber

He said families with serious concerns about a young person’s mental health “get to a stage of stress themselves”.

“They can be paralysed by fear about saying the wrong thing, and making the situation worse,” he said. “Or it may be the family still see some stigma attached to mental health and come from a history of not talking about it.”

Asked his advice to parents about raising the issue of mental health with someone they have a concern about, Mr Trethowan said parents and loved ones had to resist the urge to jump straight in with a solution.

“If you are in a moment with a young person who is wanting to talk, don’t jump in and fill the space if the conversation is a bit stilted or awkward. Let them talk. They do value having those face-to-face conversations if they are ready for them.

“When you raise it, choose the right time. Remove yourself from your busy day. Admit you are concerned about them. Talk about the warning signs such as lack of sleep, not seeing their friends, not wanting to go to school.

“You don’t need to be an expert in mental health, but you are an expert in your young person. Loving unconditionally and listening without judgment is a good start,” Mr Trethowan said.