Couple rejects Jewish sperm donor, citing inability to ‘navigate’ his ‘identity’ amid Israel-Hamas war

A Perth man says a couple with whom he had forged close ties terminated plans for him to be their sperm donor, citing ‘ethical challenges’ amid the Israel-Hamas war.

Perth hair stylist Jay Lazarus is devastated after a couple terminated plans for him to be their sperm donor, citing ethical challenges with him being Jewish. Picture: NCA Newswire / Nicki Connolly

A Perth man has described his devastation after a couple with whom he had developed a close relationship terminated plans for him to be their sperm donor, citing “ethical challenges” amid the Israel Hamas war and their inability to “navigate parts” of his “identity”, namely his Jewishness.

Hair stylist Jay Lazarus says he began the process of becoming a sperm donor in October 2022, and “connected deeply” with a same-sex couple from Queensland, with whom he had been undergoing the sperm donation process, until they decided not to proceed in late 2023.

In a text message Mr Lazarus has posted on his social media, the couple profess to be “about kindness and love”, but proceed to say that they are “so deeply affected” by the “war between Israel and Gaza” that they feel out of their depth proceeding with the donor relationship.

“We are so deeply affected by the world events at the moment, particularly the war between Israel and Gaza,” the couple say in their rejection text.

“We cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through with your heritage and deep beliefs. We are so sorry for everything that is happening.

“We are down a rabbit hole with the depth of our emotions and the ethical challenges, and truth be told we feel out of our depth in proceeding with this donor relationship.

“We are about kindness and love. Everything we do, say, work towards, is love in action, for every human being. We are sad for the Israeli’s (sic) and we are sad for the Palestinian people, so deeply sad.

“We don’t have the capacity to navigate parts of your identity in this donor relationship so we are respectfully ending this now.”

Mr Lazarus said he had been “left reeling” by the text.

The rejection text the Queensland couple sent Jay Lazarus. Photo: Supplied

“In their words, they couldn’t go through with the process due to ‘ethical challenges’ and their inability to navigate parts of my identity’ — my Jewishness,” Mr Lazarus said.

“Influenced by what they’ve been told about the conflict between Israel and Hamas, this couple preferred to go back to square one of the sperm donor process rather than accept my Jewish sperm.

“Prejudice is still pervasive, even in progressive circles that champion ‘kindness and love’ … anti-Semitism is not just a relic of the past, but a living, breathing, prejudice that continues today.

“This couple has chosen a path, and while I can’t change their view, I refuse to let it diminish my pride or lose hope. I’m proud to be gay, proud to be Jewish, and proud to stand against hate.”

Executive Council of Australian Jewry co-CEO Alex Ryvchin said Mr Lazarus’s experience was a “highly unusual incident which shows the sprawl of anti-Semitism in our society since October 7.”

“For a man to be rejected as a sperm donor simply because he is of the same ethnicity as Israelis battling jihadism is outrageous,” Mr Ryvchin said.

“The manner in which the donors tell themselves they act only out of love while succumbing to hatred is quite incredible.

“This would not occur with any other form of racism or discrimination. Yet where Jews are concerned it seems perfectly reasonable to reject someone because they are Jew and still claim the moral high ground.

“My thoughts are with the man affected and I commend him for his pride and strength in the face of this attack on him and his identity.”

Australian Jewish Association CEO Robert Gregory said: “Whatever your thoughts on the Middle East conflict, this is an example of outright anti-Semitism and just a horrible way to treat someone who was acting out of kindness.”

“It illustrates that much of the wave of progressive hostility toward Israel, is at its core, hostility toward Jews,” Mr Gregory said.