When you have more money than sense, try a Pagani Zonda

A 2014 Pagani Zonda LM Roadster sold for $17m.

Many of our 20 readers (the independent science behind our readership numbers is explained in full later) say they don’t understand this column sometimes.

Yes. So, what’s the problem? I don’t understand it either and I write it. Anyway, on with the confusion.

The Middle East, or what used to be called the Pirate Coast, is becoming the hot bed of auto action.

A week ago, RM’s Dubai sale went off. A one-owner 2014 Pagani Zonda LM Roadster with only 10,000 on the clock sold for $17m. Lou Hamo bought a similar Zonda for $2.5m in 2014 and then sold it to an overenthusiastic rich punter in 2021 for $16m.

Of course, as soon as he picked the car up from Hamo’s house the punter took the 7.3-litre V12 engined, 550KW (or about the same power as a turbo prop plane) 375km/h (faster than a turbo prop plane) carbon fibre monster for a spin on the UK’s A55.

A feature of the A55 is Penmaenbach Tunnel which opened in 1989 to carry westbound traffic. It is 658m in length and was blasted through the hillside; which is exactly what the overenthusiastic punter did – tried to blast it through the hillside.

You don’t need me to tell you the result, but I’m told AAMI won’t be insuring any more Paganis.

One friend, one son and 20 readers the buyer should have read what Hamo said about the Zonda 760 LH, (LH = Lewis Hamilton). He told journalists it was “terrible to drive” and he had hit a stationery car in Monaco. Like the rest of us after a similar incident, he blamed “heavy partying and not much rest for a week and a half”.

Remember, if you are thinking about buying one, you have to take it to the factory in Modena (no it’s not near Fyshwick, although everything else is) for the regular 10,000km service and rego inspection.

While you are there, spend $30 on a ticket to the Horacio Pagani Museo. Remember readers, that for safety reasons children under three will not be allowed into the factory and Horacio warmly discourages pregnant women from taking the factory tour in case their soon-to-be persons get infected with the expensive Italian supercar virus.

Of course, politicians in South Australia have the answer for overenthusiastic rich punters doing untoward things in Lambos, Feezers and Chryslers. Drivers in the non coal-dependent state are now required to undergo a special course to get behind the wheel of ultra high-powered vehicles, while also being banned from turning off driver aids such as traction control and electronic stability control systems in these cars.

Interestingly one Italian motoring enthusiast was fined $2500 on the first day. A Lambo driver without any number plates claimed he couldn’t see if he needed to have the new licence as he couldn’t ’look up his number plate online because his car doesn’t have number plates”. Another confusion. Anyway, the course includes questions like: “What happens when you put your foot on the accelerator? What are brakes for? Does your car have a cigarette lighter”? and “will the eight-track come back”?

And we told you about Cadillac entering F1. Well, every commentator in the world is asking questions about the Bin Sulayem family owners of port operators DP World and FIA president Ben Sulayem (brother of Sultan Ahmed bin Sulayem, DP World’s CEO and General Motors). DP World has a lucrative partnership with GM and mischievous allegations have been raised about brotherly help. Of course, with all the very experienced staff heading out the door of the FIA, many have been suggesting that the FIA is running out of people, like President Ben Sulayem must be running out of time in his job.

And we have been warning you about the Porsche Taycan for a while now. The Australian government has now recalled them.

In October, the US recalled 27,527 Taycans and 6500 Audi e-trons because “due to a manufacturing issue, the cell modules installed in the high-voltage battery may be defective”.

“A short circuit could cause a thermal overload and result in a vehicle fire over time.”

Now talk to Porsche service staff and they will tell you they are embarrassed by the Taycan. To put it nicely it’s a dog. If you’ve spent $200k to $350k buying one then good luck on resale.

And talking of Dan Kwai and his Autoleague dealerships particularly the Hyundai ones in Albany, Maddington, Melville, Midland and Morley – a word of warning. Don’t expect to hear from them if you have any problems with your new or used Hyundai. Next week we’ll be looking at what happens when you buy a dud new car from Lismore Quayside Hyundai (not owned by Autoleague).

I know you’re desperate for results from last weekend’s Motor Racing Australia’s huge weekend at Steve Shelley’s brand new One Raceway at Goulburn (famous for the Supermax prison and huge merino. Travel tip: stay at the motel behind the Big Merino and you get a great view from your window of the nether regions of said sheep.

Bigger than the bigger Merino was seeing Tabitha Ambrose, daughter of supercar king Marcus, killing it in her Formula Ford.

Another big presence was team owner Garth Walden. Garth Walden Racing celebrated 10 years of making the big end of town look good in race cars. It was a huge day and from what I remember Weekend Business Confidential spotted Radical drivers Sue Hughes, Corinthian Doors owners Chris Perini and Richard Perini; bean counter to the auto industry Steve Champion, Morgan Stanley’s Peter Opie, WT Partnerships Phil Anseline and Vantage Freight’s vintage owner, David Crampton.

Most of those persons drive Radicals. Evo Magazine tested GT3 RS, 750S, and Radical SR3 XXR, With a tiny Suzuki-sourced 1.3-litre four-cylinder engine, the Radical has less than half the horsepower of the Porsche and just one third the power of the McLaren. The Radical clears both the German and the Brit’s lap times by five or six seconds. Talk to Garth to get your racing career going.

Finally our audience measurement method is based on the continual churn of readers heading to the great garage in the sky, being sent back to the Supermax for mucking up their day release conditions and getting confused.

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