Them’s the brakes for Piastri as Red Bull reels

Red Bull has parted ways with its chief, Christian Horner, ostensibly because of results and not his record of unsportsmanlike behaviour towards women. Picture: AP

Let’s start where it ended: Oscar Piastri got robbed – or penalised, depending on how charitable you’re feeling towards the FIA this week.

Silverstone had it all: British weather, safety cars, strategy blunders, and one hell of a penalty. What should have been an Aussie podium turned into just another F1 shrug emoji. While Lando Norris bathed in home glory and The Hulk, Nico Hulkenberg, aka The Pensioner, finally snagged a podium after 239 starts, McLaren’s other non-soap dodger golden child was slapped with a 10-second time penalty for – wait for it – braking too hard.

Oscar Piastri makes a pit stop during the British Grand Prix at Silverstone. Picture: Getty Images

The FIA called it “erratic”. Max Verstappen called it “extreme, but not dangerous”. Oscar called it a stinker. Six penalty points now sit on his super licence. For braking. At a restart. If he sneezes in parc ferme next weekend, he might be banned for life.

McLaren opted to punish Oscar by making him serve the penalty in a pit stop instead of after the race, effectively handing the win to Norris and turning a potential 1-2 into a glorified handshake.

But while McLaren soared, Red Bull spontaneously combusted.

Horner sacked

No fanfare. No Netflix arc. Just a quick goodbye to the Milton Keynes staff and a promotion for Racing Bulls boss Laurent Mekies – which is like swapping out North Melbourne’s Alastair Clarkson for the Coburg VFL coach mid-finals.

But this wasn’t a shock. It was a slow-motion trainwreck two years in the making.

It started after Red Bull co-founder Dietrich Mateschitz died in late 2022. Christian Horner saw a power vacuum – and he moved in fast. His first target: Helmut Marko, Mateschitz’s motorsport consigliere. Horner tried to sideline the Austrian, but Max Verstappen stepped in. In early 2024, Max made it crystal clear: “If Marko goes, I go.”

Not long after, Jos Verstappen – Max’s father and unofficial Red Bull enforcer – joined the chorus. He publicly declared the team would “fall apart” if Horner stayed. Around the same time, Horner’s PA lodged a formal complaint alleging coercive, abusive and sexually inappropriate behaviour. Red Bull twice dismissed the claims. But the damage was done – reputationally, internally, and with the Verstappens. Christian’s wife is Ginger Spice from a group formerly known as The Spice People.

Third placed Nico “The Pensioner” Hulkenberg arrives on the podium at Silverstone. Picture: Getty Images

And while all that was bubbling, Red Bull quietly began haemorrhaging talent.

Chief engineer Rob Marshall? Off to McLaren. Head of strategy Will Courtenay? Joining him. Longtime team manager Jonathan Wheatley? Packed up for Sauber. Design God Adrian Newey? Gone to Aston Martin, taking more than just his sketchpad with him.

These weren’t nobodies. They were the brains behind Red Bull’s dominance. And they weren’t just leaving – they were taking Red Bull’s secrets with them. If you’re wondering how Sauber managed to stick The Hulk on a podium, start there. The same bloke Horner used to call his right hand is now the guy helping The Hulk beat Hamo.

And of course those four will pick the best young talent in Red Bull to join them.

Brain drain

Red Bull’s 2023 dominance feels like a fever dream. Mad Max won 19 races. The car looked like it had cheat codes. This year? The second seat is cursed, the car’s moody, and McLaren is breathing down their necks.

Yuki Tsunoda – promoted to the top team – has been a disaster. He’s not in the same postcode as Max and hasn’t been able to back up the team’s constructor points. Which, by the way, is where the prize money comes from.

For years, Red Bull (read: Horner) refused to sign a second driver capable of challenging Max – no George Russell, no Charles Leclerc, no Carlos Sainz. Now, they’re paying for that decision. The gap between the two cars is costing them titles, dollars and leverage.

And don’t forget Horner’s whispered games with FIA boss Mohammed Ben Sulayem. Conspiracy theories about McLaren’s sudden pace. Back-channel lobbying. It all rubbed people the wrong way.

By last week, the whispers became a roar. The Verstappen camp had an ultimatum: either Horner goes, or Max walks. And with Mercedes sniffing around and Max’s exit clause linked to Red Bull’s performance, the team blinked.

Horner was out. Quietly. Brutally. Replaced by Mekies, a decent operator but hardly a giant slayer.

The paddock is still picking up the pieces. Max is saying nothing. Jos is smirking. McLaren just beat Red Bull on strategy and engineering. Aston Martin have Newey. Sauber have Wheatley. And The Pensioner, at age 36 and 239 races deep, finally got the champagne he’s been chasing since the V8 era.

He started 19th. He finished third. The garage wept. Nico wept. His radio call said it all: “F..k me. I don’t think I can comprehend what we’ve just done.”

And that sums up Silverstone. Piastri got robbed. Norris triumphed. Hulkenberg finally made it. And Red Bull imploded – not because of one scandal, but two years of denial, arrogance, and a team boss who thought he was untouchable.

Next stop: Belgium. McLaren has momentum. Max has questions. Horner’s got time. And F1? It’s gone fully feral.

Chiko rolls on

In excellent news for fans of grease, nostalgia and regional Australia, the Chiko Roll is back at Mount Panorama. After winning last year’s Bathurst 1000 with Brodie Kostecki and Todd Hazelwood, the Chiko Camaro will return in 2025 with Erebus rookies Cooper Murray and Jobe Stewart.

There’ll also be a fan experience: flights to Orange, helicopter to the track, and a ride in the safety car. Possibly more expensive than just buying 600 Chiko Rolls and eating them on the hill, but far less likely to result in deep-fryer burns.

Meanwhile Shane van Gisbergen – our easternmost state’s Supercars champ – has done it again. He swept the NASCAR Xfinity and Cup Series races on the Chicago Street Course – the first to do so from pole since Kyle Busch in 2016.

Rain stayed away, chaos didn’t. SVG out-drove the field and took another win for Trackhouse. Meanwhile, a bunch of Septic cars went backwards into tyre barriers.

Very sad news: Carminders founder, sailor, cyclist, this column’s most significant emailer and general good guy David Grinston died this week. The world would be a better place if they made more like him.

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