Some electric cars lost more than two-thirds of their value after being driven out of showrooms
“And not more lists of what’s on at the Kensi, what youth adviser JP of Perth has been up to when his parents aren’t watching or the Sultan’s royal family nude portraits (except two).
“No wonder you have only 20 readers and we don’t count your eldest son, the only member of your family who can bear to read what passes for a motoring column and he only reads it because he wants you to leave him what is a shining example of environmental righteousness in the Trump era (happy inauguration Donald John – of course – Trump, Bachelor of Science in economics from the Wharton School), the black series 2 V8 SS ute. More lists, more readers.”
Twenty readers, one son and no friends, you know me I won’t be told what to do!
EV decline
First up the 10 new cars that collapsed in price last year in Soap Dodger Land. Car Dealer mag tells us they are all EVs bar one. Well, there’s a shock!
Some electric cars lost more than two-thirds of their value after being driven out of showrooms. The Fisker Ocean is No.1 for reaching its hand into your pockets and stealing a large wad of cash as you drove out the showroom door. Let’s think why. Well, the company went belly up twice.
They hired a North Korean spy by mistake. The Ocean had more than 100 loss-of-power incidents as well as other technical problems after delivery, resulting in three septic land investigations into different issues and multiple recalls.
But apart from that it’s a great car.
In March 2024, just before they went to EV receiver heaven, Mr Fisker issued one of the great management speak sentences of all time: “Production of the Ocean was paused for six weeks in order for the company to align inventory levels and progress strategic and financing initiatives.” This is a column in the business section, so you know that really means: “OK you’ve got us. We surrender.”
Then came the Honda e: Ny1, “The smart stylish SUV, with smooth electric performance” but high depreciation.
Luckily for us Kangas, Honda pulled the pin on the smart stylish SUV before it invaded our shores.
No list of dud cars would be complete without the Jeep Avenger. Then there’s the all-electric Toyota bZ4X, the Citroen C4X (bien sur), all electric AWD Subaru Soltera (circa $80k here), the SsangYong Korando (the most technologically advanced vehicle in KGM’s proud 68-year history with the worst name in KGM’s proud 68-year history), the Hyundai Kona E, Genesis GV60 and the DS DS4 Hybrid.
Best cars
Greatest headline of the year, again from Car Dealer magazine is: “Mercedes reports drop in global sales for 2024 but bosses insist year was a success”.
Road & Track mag has just announced its Performance Car of The Year. The editors (of course) tested about $5m worth of metal ranging from a $55k MX-5 to a million-dollar Lamborghini Revuelto.
In the rort, sorry test days, were a Bentley, Maserati, McLaren, Porker, Merc, Aston Martin and a Beemer. Of course, the Lambo won. As R&T says: “To oversimplify, the electric motors with instant torque do the work of puttering around town, while the 814hp 6.5-litre V-12 screams a perfect tenor when it’s time to wail. And its redline rises to an insane 9500 rpm.” Or as one child from a busload of ankle biters screamed on seeing the tractor maker’s product: “No freaking way! That’s the new Lamborghini! Hey, my mum’s single!” Sorry for the sexist reporting.
Fresh bloof in the F1
Seven more or less new drivers in F1 this year: Brazil’s Gabriel Bortoleto (20) at Kick Sauber; French/Algerian Isack Hadjar (20) at the Racing Bulls (ie Red Bull’s No.2 team); Australian Jack Doohan (21) at Alpine (the team not the ciggies); Italy’s Andrea Kimi Antonelli (18) he/him/his at Mercedes; our eastern most state’s Liam Lawson (22) at Red Bull; Australian Oscar Piastri (23) at McLaren and soap dodger Oliver Bearman (19) at Haas.
Is Jack Doohan’s drive at risk?
Alpine’s Flavio Briatore – who rejoined the team in mid 2025 as an executive adviser – told media no one’s place in the team was secure.
“The only thing we can be sure of is death,” Briatore said when asked if Doohan’s seat was safe for the full 2025 F1 season.
Flavio (74) is a bit of a lad/other. The half billionaire was convicted of multiple counts of fraud in the 1980s, receiving two prison sentences.
In 1984, a court in Bergamo found him guilty of various counts of fraud and he was fined and sentenced to one year and six months in prison. The sentence was subsequently reduced to a year by a court of appeal in 1988. In 1986, he was sentenced to three years for fraud and conspiracy for his role in a team of tricksters who set up rigged gambling games using fake playing cards.
As a non-petrol head, Flavio has had an incredibly successful F1 business career. He picked the talent of Weber, Schumacher and Alonso.
He oversaw Benetton’s 27 race victories and two World Drivers’ Championships. Briatore resigned as team principal of Renault due to a race fixing scandal called Crashgate. The controversy centred on an early crash involving Nelson Angelo Tamsma Piquet Souto Maior aka Nelson Piquet Jnr’s car during the 2008 Singers GP.
You know you want it
And for this month’s diary: the 2025 Gnoo Blas Classic at Sir Jack Brabham Park, Orange, the 2025 Flying Horse Grand Annual Sprintcar Classic at Warrnabool, the first round of the Mazda MX-5 Cup at Eastern Creek, and the Scottsdale 2025 auctions.
Look, you know you want it!
Go straight to the Barrett Jackson auction tents for the Batmobile from the Batman TV show and Batman: The Movie. Built by George Barris, this Batmobile was made using fibreglass body moulds taken from the original Batmobile and a 1966 Ford Galaxie chassis.
Barret Jackson sold the original Batmobile for $6m in 2013, but you’ll pay less for this one.
jc@jcp.com.au
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