F1 brings back the biff, even if NRL couldn’t

The 2008 Force India-Ferrari VJM01 Formula 1 racing single-seater has some notable signatures on its livery.

F1 has brought back the biff and the viewers are flooding back.

At last, F1 has found the answer. For too long F1 has been a parade, a gentleman/gentlewoman no contact, woke sport. Look can I be subtle? to put it simply, F1 lacked mongrel.

Two drivers were even male models for their teams’ schmutter! I told you the world is fudged.

But, on Sunday, F1 brought back the biff and F1 is a must watch again.

To paraphrase Reg Regan’s song “Am I Ever Gonna See the Biff Again?” which expresses a semi satirical desire for fights in sport:

“At Austria we saw the biff,

Oh that sweet wholesome biff,

When Mad Max ran into Leaping Lando.

They ended up with punctures,

In the pits and in pain.

And we didn’t see Lando again.”

Just about everyone had their elbows out but there can only be one winner and it was Mad Max, who lived up to his name and is undoubtedly the most aggressive driver in the 2024 bunch.

Anyway, Mad Max and the Hamster used to go at it when Maxie was pushing Lou for the championship years ago, but Sunday was seriously serious. For the first time in years there are at least two cars faster than Max’s.

And this year five different drivers from four different teams have won a race. While Chuck Leclerc is really close there’s no doubt it’s Leaping Lando who could take the annual best driver prize from MM. This was the real battle.

But Sainz and the Hamster went at it, Alonso gave Zhou Guanyu a biff, Alonso gave Ocon a biff, Ocon and Gasly were biffing each other and then, on lap 52, Max and Lando pitted. At one stage Max was nearly 8 seconds ahead – a lifetime in F1 – but the Red Bull pit crew stuffed up the tyre change and Norris was suddenly on Max’s back (metaphorically speaking). Didn’t they go for it! Thugby League had nothing on this.

It was unrelenting with Lando dive bombing Max, and Maxie cutting him off. Then on lap 64 of 71, Lando dive-bombed, Max went to cut him off, the two cars biffed, Max lost a tyre and Lando took the lead.

But wait. Lando’s back tyre came off and the car and driver were fudged. Lando was out of the race. “The entire population in the world (knows) who is responsible – except for a group of people,” said McLaren team boss Andrea Stella.

Georgie Russell took the lead, Oscar P drove brilliantly to come in second, Carl Sainz third, then Hamo and Mad Max. Phew, what a race sports fans.

Next week is the Soap Dodger GP over 52 laps of the 5.89km Silverstone Circuit. If you were a betting person, take a trifecta on the top three: Max, Oscar and Lando.

And now it’s time for the next episode of The Wonderful World of Wheels in which we look at the most recent technological advancements from your friends the car manufacturers.

Let’s go over to soon-to-be-communist soap dodger land and our brave reporter, Dino Buratti, on the front line of Chinese cars with a sporting British moniker. Yes, I’m looking at you MG.

MG is now owned by SAIC Motor Corp (formerly Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation). Dino also works for our favourite consumer mag, Which?.

Dino was testing the MG4 (a popular electric car from MG) … and, it’s over to you DB: “I noticed the lane-assist system twice pulled the car on to the wrong side of the road; and on a narrower country road the lane-assist system steered the MG4 towards an oncoming vehicle.”

How’s that for a bit of fun readers? Dino asked MG’s English HQ why they were selling a car that set you up for a head on. Of course, he got a straight-talking reply: “We are aware of some inconsistencies relating to the lane-departure warning system which can make the system oversensitive under certain conditions.

“We have been working on a continuous improvement program with the supplier and the relevant regulatory authorities.”

I asked our mechanical consultant, M. McMichael of Stepney what he thought. “Twenty readers of the drivel that passes for a column in an otherwise great paper and multiplatform media channel, if you own a MG4 (a popular electric car from MG), only drive it in reverse then you can’t get into trouble.”

And in septic land, Ford is recalling more than 550,000 pick-up trucks in the US because the transmissions can unexpectedly downshift to first gear no matter how fast the trucks are going.

Ford Australia has recalled 2070 2021-23 Ford F-150s because the autonomous emergency braking system might have a few problems.

And the good folks at PBS (US version of the ABC) remind us that in September last year Hyundai and Kia issued a recall of 3.4 million vehicles in the United States telling us to park our cars outside and away from buildings because they could catch fire even with the engines off. “Most of those autos remain on the road – unrepaired – putting owners, their families and potentially others in danger of fires that could spread to garages, houses or other vehicles.” Kia is recalling more than 427,000 of Telluride SUVs because the cars roll away while they’re parked.

One car that won’t let you down is the 2008 Force India-Ferrari VJM01 Formula 1 racing single-seater with a bonus paint job by the great abstract expressionist artist, Dexter Brown.

The first car of new Force India team and its drivers, Giancarlo Fisichella and Adrian Sutil, it was not only painted by Dexter but signed by a shed load of somewhat famous people, including Michael Schumacher, Lewis Hamilton, Niki Lauda, Jackie Stewart and Stirling Moss. Yours for only $200k

The other big event last weekend was at the Steve Shelley-owned Pheasants Wood where your Weekend Australian Racing Team took a hard-earned third in the Deputy Software 4 hour Enduro. Yup there was torrential rain, at least a hint of snow, frightening cold but nothing and no one could stop them.

The history books will record the team was Ronin Lindenmeyer/AndyLu/ Rod Tippit and yours truly.

Happy birthday Norm Beechey. Born 9 July, Stormin’ Norman Beechey changed the face of Australian motorsport.

Norm thought cars were better going sideways than in a straight line. He drove the first Australian car to win a touring car championship. He is still my hero.

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