Does Australia need a dedicated minister for men?

Illustration: Emilia Tortorella

Rates of domestic and family violence are not dissipating, suicide rates among men are increasing and misogynist influencer Andrew Tate happened.

Whichever way you want to carve it, blokes are not having a good time of it. Men, young men especially, appear to be moving through life with social, moral and emotional Google Maps powered by patchy 3G to help navigate this ever-changing society we’re all trying live in.

For so many years, as card-carrying feminists (and pretty much any woman) will attest, whenever issues of women and girls are raised, there is a chorus of “What about men?” For the record, men get a day like women do. It’s November 19. Good, now that’s out of the way, can we move on from squabbling over who gets their own day with stale cupcakes?

The stats are not great. Violence perpetrated by men against women, especially in places such as Western Australian, Tasmania and the Northern Territory, are increasing at alarming rates.

Recently, after a spate of homicides involving women allegedly at the hands of people they were in a relationship with, The West Australian newspaper in Perth ran a confronting page one photo of a woman being choked by her partner. The publication then published another front page of a small boy alongside the cover lines: “How we stop this kid becoming a monster”. The latter caused more outrage, with many critics saying it was demonising young boys.

The campaign was calling for a circuit-breaker on the unrelenting scourge of domestic violence and for educational programs to help teach healthy relationships 101.

In Australia, according to No To Violence, an organisation focused on prevention, men are the biggest “users of domestic violence”. This is a deliberately softer phrase designed to encourage them to get help and understand accountability rather than making them feel they should have the word monster tattooed on their forehead.

Would a minister of the crown dedicated to blokes help stop the violence and save our men? Yes, according to the people who petitioned parliament even before the pandemic, when loneliness, mental health and isolation were highlighted as major barriers facing Australians, especially men, as we readjusted to life without hard borders, lockdowns and the economic fall out from those “unprecedented times”.

“In recent events there has been voiced concerns of inequality between men and women and the serious concerns of suicide of men and boys. In recent media events our fire fighters were accused of (being) likely to commit domestic violence during times of stress,” stated a petition, titled “Minister for Men”, submitted to the House of Representatives in February 2020. Since then, a lot has happened in that space.

Former prime minister Scott Morrison reshuffled cabinet in early 2021 after the well-publicised Brittany Higgins story about safety concerns inside Parliament House and appointed three ministers tasked with looking after women’s issues, their economic security and safety.

The Albanese government’s Minister for Women, Katy Gallagher, delivered a women’s budget statement this year that for the first time had a focus on menopause. When approached by Inquirer, she declined to answer whether a similar portfolio or document should now be established for men.

Instead, the government has continued to roll out former health minister Greg Hunt’s National Men’s Health Strategy 2020-2030. Established in 2018, this focuses on the holistic wellbeing of men, including their sexual and reproductive health and addressing risk-taking behaviours.

But the concept of a portfolio for men’s issues is gaining more traction.

Last week Nick Fletcher, a backbencher in Rishi Sunak’s government, appeared on the popular BBC radio program Woman’s Hour to present his pet project. “If men are living a better, happier, healthier life, then that is better for women, too, and it’s better for society as a whole,” Fletcher said.

🗣️‘If men are living better & happier lives, it’s better for women too’

Conservative MP @NickFletcherMP is calling for a Minister for Men.

He told @bbcnuala why he believes that men face such difficulties in today’s society that they need a specific champion.

Click to listen⬇️

— BBC Woman's Hour (@BBCWomansHour) September 10, 2023

The Conservative MP pointed out that men in Britain were dying younger and made up 96 per cent of the prison population. Fletcher said young boys in his electorate tended to be “neglected by government”, which was leading to “little inspiration” and their lives were giving them “little opportunities”.

It was a refreshing interview on the progressive program with presenter Nuala McGovern asking what a minister for men’s remit would involve, including whether there would be a campaign for men to “understand the privilege that they have in society”.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt particularly privileged,” Fletcher said. “I come from a working-class background and to become a member of parliament was, obviously, an actual wonderful thing. But I’ve got here through an awful lot of hard work. I don’t think it’s necessarily to do with privilege.”

Former Australian deputy prime minister John Anderson agrees it is a confusing time for men, but not that addressing this is the role of government.

“It’s very confusing for them to establish what masculinity looks like. They’re told all the time that simply being men (means) you’re probably toxic, but actually we’ve got an issue with anxiety and depression among all young people,” Anderson says. He also cites how “vastly overrepresented” men are in Australian jails. “The most common predictor will be the absence of an effective father figure,” Anderson says.

Or maybe we just need to sing along to some Adele together? Like I did recently with a broken-hearted taxi driver. When her hit Someone Like You came on the radio he turned it up. Intrigued, I commented about how great the song was. He replied that it reminded him of a girl he was struggling to get over. We ended up belting out the chorus as we cruised through Sydney’s Cross City Tunnel.

The tide is turning. Society is changing for the better for both men and women and, unusually, social media may be a saviour in this space.

Activist Chanel Contos, who has dedicated her work to consent education, says she feels that some young men are lost as we move towards a more equitable world but she doesn’t think the sinking of government resources into a specific portfolio will fix it.

“If we are to have a minister for men, that focus should be on ending the violence they perpetrate,” Contos tells Inquirer.

Most common question I get about stealthing is if tampering with other forms of contraception counts. Here’s some clarity —> pic.twitter.com/bCTo3PuFZe

— Chanel Contos (@Chanelcontos) November 22, 2022

In her new book, Consent Laid Bare, published this week, she speaks of the need for an education revolution when it comes to the way we relate in platonic and romantic situations.

Community, virtual or in real time, is helping too.

On a plane recently I sat next to two men, both in their late 40s-early 50s, who spent the five-hour flight chatting about a gamut of issues including parenthood, divorce, navigating new relation­ships, drinking culture, and dealing with prickly situations with an ex. They did not stop talking. It was the best non-podcast podcast I’ve had the pleasure of eavesdropping on. Both complimented each other, gave each other space to express themselves, actively listened and offered advice and support.

Similarly, there is a duo on TikTok called The Relatables who have more than 300,000 fans. “Just two boys that like to get in the feels” is how they describe their content, which includes short videos and podcast episodes canvassing topics such as “Things We Love About Girls” and “Women are Superior”. Each of their videos has clocked up more than two million views and the comments are just as heartwarming.

@relateables69

Things we love about girls #fyp

♬ original sound - relateables

“You two are green flags,” meaning they are displaying admirable qualities for TikTok users – a tricky task for the most discerning, diverse and popular platform that operates in Australia. What they represent and put out is a world away from the grotesque, angry and belligerent Tate TikToks of last year.

These are the Aussie blokes I know. So whatever we can do to help them thrive, like the girls, we must do.

Let’s not put it on the government, which frankly couldn’t organise a bun fight in a bakery right now, let’s leave it to the emerging experts such as Contos, the Relatables and those who want to help educate and pump up our next generation of men in positive and productive ways rather than just focus on political pointscoring.

Adele on repeat is optional but highly recommended.