The Mocker: Disabilities and Irritabilities

Some individuals have conditions that do not so much affect them but have detrimental affects of those people around them.

Did you know that Thursday last week was the International Day of People with Disability? More importantly, did it mean anything to you? I am not trying to be callous or offensive. Rather, my point is that too often these worthy causes become bureaucratic tokenism, a morning tea where we declare our commitment to inclusion and providing opportunities for those less fortunate, and then promptly forget about them for another year.

Over 4.4 million people in Australia, around one in five, have some form of disability. Knowing when to intervene and when to back off can be tricky. My realisation came many years ago when I was waiting to be served at a shopfront counter. I saw a man in a wheelchair attempting to open the door to exit. Leaving my place in the queue, I went to hold the door open for him, but was surprised at his annoyed reaction and his failure to acknowledge my generous assistance. For the rest of the day I seethed at his behaviour, angry that I had not acted quickly and slammed the door on the ungrateful bastard. Only later did I consider why he did not appreciate my unsolicited act of virtue or my assumption he was utterly helpless.

That should have been enough to get me thinking, but regrettably it was not. Many years later I made a similarly ignorant assumption. Having hailed a taxi at Hobart airport one time, I was annoyed the lazy driver could not even be bothered to get out of the car to help with our luggage. About to give him a spray, I was stopped by my other half, who pointed inside the boot. To my chagrin, I saw two metal crutches. That driver never had a more amenable nor well-behaved passenger.

Too often worthy causes become overtaken by bureaucratic tokenism. Picture: AAP

As for the so-called hidden disabilities, we could all do a better job in being more attentive. A late close friend suffered from depression, but it was only when he rang me to say he had voluntarily admitting himself to a psychiatric facility that I appreciated how bad it had become. On his part, he was surprised to discover his fellow patients were people he would consider normal but for the circumstances in which they met. He delighted his newfound friends with his humour. One day the administrators informed the group as a courtesy that the health minister would be touring the facility, whereupon my mate suggested, no doubt in his typical deadpan manner, that as soon as the politician walked into the room they run about in circles waving their arms while uttering gibberish.

These days outright discrimination against those with a disability is unlawful, but it was not that long ago when it was open slather, and it was not just the powerless who were affected. The longest-serving High Court judge, Sir Edward McTiernan, retired at 84 in 1976, but that was only because chief justice Sir Garfield Barwick refused to include a wheelchair ramp in the design of the new court building.

Naturally, disabilities are something one has no choice in being born with or inadvertently acquiring. But what of those individuals who have conditions that do not so much affect them but have detrimental affects of those people around them? Let’s consider a few.

Shareism

Having criss-crossed Australian skies for many years, I know and respect passenger etiquette. You nod politely to the strangers alongside you as you take your seat, and you mind your own business for the rest of the flight. The days of flying being a novelty or adventure are long gone, hence in one sense it is no different from riding a public bus or train.

There’s nowhere to hide on long flight with an over-sharer.

But no, there is always one – usually on the Sydney to Perth run for some reason – who talks constantly and wants to be your bestie. Short of feigning death or saying “Ich spreche kein Englisch”, there is very little you do to stop these persistent types. Within 20 minutes you will know the most intimate details about them.

Now with social media this phenomenon is omnipresent. Believe me, we do not need to know if you are vegan, or that you are non-binary, or that you are sad about Kevin the pet cat because it is the seventh anniversary of his being totalled by the neighbour’s car. Thank you for *not* sharing.

Usurperism

Their prey is the captive audience, their mission to deliver a sermon, whether or not you wish to hear it. If you have been to a U2 concert, you would know of lead singer Bono’s annoying tendency to interrupt his homilies concerning starving African children with the occasional song.

Singer, and occasional preacher, Bono. Picture: AFP

These insufferable luminaries assume their talent in a certain field, whether it be sport, acting or singing, makes one a polymath in all endeavours, particularly politics. Witness for example Brandon Victor Dixon, the actor who played vice president Aaron Burr in the musical ‘Hamilton’, who in 2016 read a statement to vice president-elect Mike Pence, thanking him for attending, but adding “We are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us.” Stunning and brave, I’m sure you will agree.

On that note I beseech you to send your thoughts and prayers to English players in the second-tier Millwall and Derby Colchester soccer teams who last weekend at Grimsby “took the knee” in an anti-racism gesture before kick-off, only to be booed by fans. As they say, we live in terrible times.

According to the Professional Footballers’ Association the booing was “a sad indictment of the lack of understanding and empathy for the players’ fight against racism and discrimination”. Soccer’s governing body in the UK, The Football Association has commenced an investigation into a “crowd-related incident,” while Derby boss Wayne Rooney has condemned fans for their “disgraceful and mindless behaviour”. Having seen footage of the incident, I agree. I thought the fans should have booed a lot louder.

Meeism

Call it narcissism, self-centeredness, or self-indulgence, but whatever the label it is the worst of irritabilities. Any occasion can be used for making it about oneself, and nothing is sacrosanct. I have been to a funeral where, to the disbelief of those in attendance, the eulogiser spoke interminably about himself and his achievements, making only passing reference to the deceased.

A recurring phenomenon I dread which inspires these types is discussion of public education and tertiary funding. What follows is the inevitable letter to the editor that ostensibly champions these institutions but quickly segues into an excuse to talk about, something along the lines of “I was born into a working-class family, and back then universities were only for rich people. But at school my second-grade teacher, Mrs Simonsen, saw in me something others had not. Were it not for her, or for Gough Whitlam and free tertiary education, I would not have graduated at 21 with a first class honours degree. Or a masters at 24. And at 32, this single parent stood proudly as she received her PhD in sociology and the chancellor’s award for excellence. If only Mrs Simonsen were alive for me to thank her.” Merciful God, make it stop.

Misanthropism

Put simply, it is a dislike of one’s fellow man, and it is not uncommon for those afflicted by it to write incessantly about the foibles of others. What drives these types? Beats me.