Stop the Flo and Joh auction show

There’s been a surprise last-minute intervention by the federal government in Tuesday’s auction of the Sir Joh and Lady Flo Bjelke-Petersen’s estate.

A portrait of Joh Bjelke-Petersen.

There’s been a surprise last-minute intervention by the federal government in Tuesday’s auction of the Sir Joh and Lady Flo Bjelke-Petersen’s estate. The Office for the Arts confirmed to Strewth it had advised Lloyd’s Auctions that some of the former Queensland Premier’s items could be Australian Protected Objects (APOs), and may not be allowed to leave Australian soil.

“This is a standard practice when the Office of the Arts becomes aware of auctions that may involve APOs … (that are) subject to export control under the Protection of Movable Cultural Heritage Act 1986,” a mandarin informed us. The Office of the Arts — located within the new mega department of Infrastructure, Transport, Regional Development and Communications — said the government doesn’t intend to stop the auction proceeding as planned on Tuesday night and overseas bids are allowed.

However: “Should a buyer wish to export an object, they may be required to apply for an export permit” from Arts Minister Paul Fletcher. “A permit would not be issued if it was determined, following the receipt of expert advice, that the object‘s export would significantly diminish the cultural heritage of Australia.” Guess we’re keeping the Joh & Flo salt and pepper shakers!

There’s already been thousands of bids, including interest from across the ditch in Dannevirke, New Zealand, where Sir Joh was born. “The items in this auction tell many important stories about Australia’s history and in particularly Queensland’s growth and how it came to be the state it is today, so we applaud the government for reaching out to protect it’s history,” Lloyd’ chief operating officer Lee Hames said.

Joh Joh Rabbit

No one would shed light on what within the catalogue of 800 plus Sir Joh items has been flagged as not OK for foreigners. Former pieces of Queensland government property are up for grabs with no reserve price — including a rare 1982 white Jaguar staff car (bidding now at $8800), his personal desk ($3100), signed documents and original Liberal ballots. Other things of “historical significance” that come to mind — Lady Flo’s pumpkin scone recipe (now at $230) and cake tins ($370); a post moon landing world tour schedule signed by Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, Gough Whitlam and John Gorton ($6000); a 1981 QLD rugby league jersey ($562) and a “good” condition vintage VHS of the film Jesus ($30). In a final clean up of the estate over the weekend, Sir Joh’s original Stetson Swagger hat was added, along with Lady Flo’s black leather Gucci bag.

Joh’s 1982 white Jaguar.

Episode X

South Australian senator Rex Patrick has exited the Rebel Alliance, sorry Centre Alliance. Leaving lower house member for Mayo Rebekha Sharkie and Senator Stirling Griff as the last two standing in the group formerly known as the Nick Xenophon Team. Strewth asked newly independent Patrick — will he now sit to the right or the left of the centre? “I will be pragmatic, trying to right rather than wrong,” Patrick said. “I think I am already an openness and transparency Jedi,” a reference to Patrick’s Democrats inspired platform of “keeping the host” with a federal anti-corruption commission and changes to Freedom of Information laws. Does that make him Senator Han Solo?

An ongoing battle

That’s not a moon

Following the cheeky pranksters behind Australian Research & Space Exploration, aka “A.R.S.E.” (Strewth, Monday). Former public servant Alan wrote in to say it reminded him of working on Capital Hill during the days of the Employment Services Regulatory Authority (ESRA). “A constituent kindly advised the relevant Minister (Tony Abbott) that its acronym spelt backwards was ARSE.” Quelle horror!

Use the force

During a drive down a lonely Dingo Beach road, Queensland pollie Jason Costigan discovered his campaign poster had an added, ahem, member attached to his cardboard forehead. With a wire. The leader of the NQ First party has dubbed it a “dildo attack”. Conservative Costigan told Strewth that Dingo Beach is “basically a normally sleepy seaside village about two hours north of Mackay, predominantly made up of quiet cane farmers in beach houses”. He suspects the rogue plastic item was placed on the poster — located on a cattle station fence post in a stretch of road with a few cows — in the middle of the night by a political rival. A local larrikin keen to offer some criticism ahead of the October state election. It’s become a local attraction of sorts, dominating chats with constituents.

“No surprise, it was the subject of conversation with two retirees; needless to say, they were lost for words”. But the Whitsundays pollie is not planning on taking it down. “I’m hoping that the owner from the LNP will come back and collect it,” he said. “I’m not sure if I want to touch it. Some people have suggested I get someone with rubber globes to remove it. This is the COVID era we live in so you have to think that way.” COVIDSafe indeed! Hopefully he gets to the bottom of it.

Defaced with a dildo.

Territory whiplash

Could this be Australia’s best/worst political ad? Michael Denigan is an independent candidate for Daly in next weekend’s Northern Territory election. As the owner of Mick’s Whips he’s made stock whips for George W Bush, Prince Philip, Bill Gates, Tim Fischer, Rudy Giuliani and Baz Luhrmann’s flick Australia. As a licensed crocodile harvester he’s also made a croc guitar strap for Bob Dylan, according to his website. Oh, and last year he walked free from court after a jury decided he was justified in shooting a man who confronted him with an axe on his property. Denigan’s campaign Facebook video features himself singing Manamana (the song made famous by the Muppets) with two sock puppets. Suddenly, he cracks two whips and lights the puppets on fire. He extinguishes the flames and gives a thumbs up to the camera as a video over explains: “Mick Denigan, man of action. Not a party political puppet.” Future opposition whip?

Mick Denigan independant candidate for Daly 2020

Posted by Michael Denigan on Thursday, 6 August 2020

Spin cycle

What are the dozen Victorian MPs doing during their 14 day Canberra Bubble™ quarantine? Aside from police checks, COVID tests and normal work, of course. Liberal MP Tim Wilson road tripped up from Melbourne and is keeping busy with an Instagram iso video diary. So far he’s built a stationary exercise bike (so he can “cycle to work”), done a push up challenge, stocked up his SodaStream, watched movie Greyhound and TV show Search Party. Plus made a virtual appearance on Q+A.

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I call this self portrait: Converting a bicycle into an exercise bike in quarantine while watching ABC’s Insiders on a dreary Canberra Sunday morning ... pic.twitter.com/vlvBaA1kAJ

— Tim Wilson MP (@TimWilsonMP) August 9, 2020